@uncannysv noticed your post about the low-key party life and Wheaton in Ill, so I wanted to draw your attention to Wheaton in Mass. It’s got a nice vibe and you may like it. Here’s the niche review of the school–
https://www.niche.com/colleges/wheaton-college----massachusetts/
@UncannySV we know a freshman at Xavier. He was a smart, well-liked while somewhat quiet student in high school. Over Xmas break, he said all was going okay, but I don’t have much in way of details. We may see him over the summer and can get more input on the social life, at least from his pov. Where else is your son looking? And have you found any with the community feel and low-key drinking scene? My son would like to find the same and it’s great to hear from others!
@UncannySV I know a junior (I think) at Xavier and he is doing great according to his father. It’s another school, based on its traditions, that was doing the “community service + whole person” thing before others caught on. I know he was caught up with rooting for the basketball team et al, but he’s been able to steer clear of the drinking downsides without problems.
@lisabees I’ve heard/listened to so many stressed seniors recently worried and bummed due to their acceptance situations that it does make one wish the world was a better place. My heart does go out to him and you. I do hope that you’ll both be able to crest this hill and know that there’s a wonderful 4+ years ahead for him, some of which will be the best of his life regardless of where he goes. What a gift that is!
@MACmiracle Yes, you mention a good one! I had that on and off our list a couple of times, with the problem being… Dickinson and Denison sounded a lot like it (I could be wrong) and I didn’t want to increase my list 
I think I may have felt that the greek system was a little large, but these are perhaps meaningless nits I’m using just to differentiate.
@jcmom716 ding! right on the dot re: video games on saturday S and I need to discuss the changes to our list and then I will post… we need to get it down so I can plan any visits and college fairs so we have “coverage”. I’m glad I went through the exercise though, since we now have lots of questions to ask during the visits!
S had a final for one of his AP classes last week and now two AP tests this week, but also some EC commitments. He still needs to work on his college lists too. The fun never stops! 
He made it out to watch his sister’s skating show though. Thought that was nice of him (she appreciates those things).
I can’t believe he’s leaving for college in a year’s time… sniff
Thanks so much @chippedtoof for that feedback. Also thanks @jcmom716, and good to hear my kid isn’t the only one! Other schools we have looked at or have marked to possibly visit, in case they’re useful–they are all on the TE list, which is why they’ve made it onto ours:
Belmont in TN - best known for its music options but it does have other majors :), its medium size and location right in Nashville put it on the maybe list and its “formerly Baptist” identity and guidelines work for S (again YMMV, it’s obviously not a fit for everyone)
Berry in GA - on the small size population-wise for S but we may check it out to see the huge, reportedly beautiful campus and rule rural locations out or in; it’s Christian in heritage and not known as a party school
St. Mary’s in CA - have read wildly different things about this school (it’s boring! it’s a constant party! amazing student involvement! it’s a commuter school!) so not sure what to think, but on paper it seems like a possible fit, though maybe a bit secluded for a kid who really wants his school to be IN a city
U. of Portland - its size, location, and religious ties seemed like a good fit on paper, but we did a drive-through and he just wasn’t feeling the campus
@Dustyfeathers Thanks for the suggestion of the “other” Wheaton. It’s not on the TE list and we’re keeping our focus on those schools as much as possible, but it’s always fun to have a new place to research!
@UncannySV Oh I do hope you look at it. The school has a reputation for going out of its way to make the students feel welcome, academics are really good, and it has a long history. Also I like its placement between two great cities, but also being a very attractive campus.
@UncannySV, Berry is definitely a beautiful campus, and huge acreage-wise…but most of that is not built on. The four-legged critters (deer) might well outnumber the two-legged ones. We toured it five years ago. At the time, the dorms (inside) were older, but they may have made improvements since then. One thing we liked about it is that pretty much anybody who wants a job on campus gets one. I believe students even took care of the grounds. They have private school tuition, but they help with that. They showed us a sliding scale that was based on GPA and SAT/ACT. Berry is about an hour and a quarter south of Chattanooga, which is a pretty neat little city.
@UncannySV I was a little confused on tour at St Mary’s as well, but my personal response was positive. Upon reflection, I think the school prides itself on its athletic successes (Div I basketball, rugby, etc. I can’t believe a school that small competes in rugby against the likes of Berkeley and Utah… and wins). They are proud of their training facility, complete with a giant climbing wall. Institutionally, they are proud of their Lasallian tradition, and people were generally laid back and friendly. (diversity seemed what one would normally find in the California metro areas, although I can’t speak to economic diversity) Still trying to get an understanding of their academics; I think the programs are well structured, and it looked like the students were into their studies and discussions. Their numbers show them on par with Xavier.
Their enclosed campus was very pretty on the sunny day we visited and, given their location, it’s that way most of the time. The main campus backs up against a huge open space area they own where students could hike/explore. There are some pretty roads to cycle in the local area. The facilities were good, some new, some older, but nothing that looked worn out. We weren’t shown the dorms but I’m guessing it’s more “classic” than some of the newer dorms I’ve seen elsewhere. I think the older students do tend to live off campus as I did see several driving in after our tour was over.
The town of Moraga is quaint and somewhat affluent. It reminds me of Portola Valley (if you’re familiar with the SF peninsula) in feel and has a country club and nearby wineries. Perhaps not the cup of tea for most college students, but they do have a shuttle to BART which gets one to SF without too much hassle. (I’ve seen people tout Stanford as being accessible to SF while saying Santa Clara is far away from SF… I think these are biases showing more than truth. Stanford is a ~45 min drive and Santa Clara is probably a ~50-55 min drive. St Mary’s is a 15 min free shuttle and a 30 min BART ride to Montgomery Station, or about ~55min driving) The towns of Moraga/Lafayette are upper middle class areas with good opportunity to shop, eat and recreate, slightly more sleepy than Palo Alto (Stanford) but perhaps less strangled by silicon valley culture.
(I know this is sounding more like a real estate pamphlet than a college review… perhaps I liked the area too much 
) I think for students, it would feel like a small, friendly community on-campus with the surrounding areas (accessible by shuttle) feeling like the suburbia they might have known from their high school lives. One hour from major city. Not too bad, but not Berkeley or even Santa Clara.
I meant this in terms of its “urban” nature.
Hey everyone!
I have a question about the SAT. Dd is taking it on Saturday. Does she need the codes for the schools to which she would like to send her four free reports? If so, how exactly does she bring those along? Seems like it would look like a crib sheet or something! Or does this all happen once she receives her scores?
By the way, trying to narrow down to four schools is maddening! I really feel like I’m trying to fit a polygonal peg into a round hole. Dd feels she has found her calling in the US military (in a specific corps), and I can’t say I don’t agree with her reasoning. Joining enlisted isn’t the optimal route, probably, but with the citizenship issue mentioned up-thread, there doesn’t seem to be a choice. School has never been a happy place for her, due to bullying in her early years and to anxiety in her later years (much of which was caused by said bullying), and she says she can’t see herself putting in four more years – right away anyway. She also say she wants to do hands-on work and be outside (or at least not stuck in a classroom…I have mentioned to her that college is very different from HS in that regard). I do think this is why I’m struggling so much to picture her anywhere. I can picture her quite well being in this particular corps, but then I’m trying not to be overly naïve about the military life/culture. I can also see her pursuing the Swiss military route.
Another thing we have going on right now is that husband has applied for a job in two new countries that are really a step down from where we are now. He is very unhappy and under-stimulated in his current job. I support his need to get out of there, but unfortunately this is the first place I’ve been truly at ease since we started this adventure fifteen years ago. Ugh. One of the cities does not have a decent option for d18’s schooling (provides Univ of Nebraska online if not doing British A-levels, which are too late to start at this point). At that point, I would just HS her myself (have done so before) – or perhaps send her somewhere in the US. The other city is good for d18 but not so good for d23. The problem is husband’s sector is very limited and such opportunities come up about once every five years. He has tried to get into the bigger, more prestigious, sort of sister organization to his, so we could be in a modern, wealthy western European city, but he keeps miserably failing the aptitude tests, which are just ridiculously difficult, especially for a slow, methodical person like him.
Okay, sorry to hijack thread with all my woes. Guess I needed to get it out!
You should be able to send scores from the online portal on College Board where you registered for the test. You can send after you take the test, but not for free after you get the scores.
Ah, okay! Thank you @treschicos !
@UncannySV I don’t think you can really avoid alcohol as part of the college experience unless you look at BYU. Add in Division 1 sports or Greek life and you have a recipe for a lot of “celebrations.” My son is social but doesn’t drink or do drugs. And it’s not like we are a family that discourages a glass of wine at dinner and we live in a recreational marijuana state (but definitely not encouraged for developing brains.) Go2boy is a bit of a nerd and likes to spend time with friends watching/making movies, playing computer games, and discussing world politics. He just felt that Xavier was not focused as much on the intellectual. Granted, our timing was bad given March Madness. Our tour guide was one of the best–very genuine and authentic but not particularly “worldly.” I think go2boy would do better at a slightly more urban, diverse campus. It felt more vanilla to him and he values a broader world view.
@UncannySV – I live in Portland and University of Portland is really a great school. I know many people who work there and students who go there. I’m biased I suppose when I say that Portland is a GREAT town for college kids. There is a ton to do, great food, great creative energy.
Funny @go2mom, having spent a good part of my childhood Portland I don’t see it as a particularly attractive place for college students. Of course, I haven’t actually lived there since the 90s, only visited. Has UPs appeal gone up in the last twenty years? Is St. John’s accessible from there? Does the MAX run out there now? I always see Portland schools like Reed, L&C and UP as so far-removed – in residential neighborhoods. They’ve all probably developed into food truck/coffee shop hot spots!
@Kardinalschnitt – Portland is fabulous now! We moved here 21 years ago and I would agree, it was a sleepy town. No more! You can’t beat the food scene, great music, lots of creative energy. My 21 year old goes to school in Nashville but has plenty to do when she is home. Public transportation is so easy that my 17 year old sees no reason to get his drivers license. Reed is very close to the vibrant Woodstock neighborhood. Lewis and Clark has wonderful outdoor trails and is less than 15 minutes to downtown. Kenton, not far from University of Portland is teeming with great restaurants. The MAX goes right into downtown Portland and even to the airport. It’s a fabulous city and even Portland state, which used to be a commuter/older adult school is attracting a new generation of students.
Yes, I would consider PSU (and have mentioned it, I think) because that’s more in line with my now-European vision of where a school should be situated. I’ve never thought of it as a particularly bad school. Woodstock used to consist of a German sausage/sandwich shop and, uh, not much else. My mom used to drag me there all the time! Now it’s much more happening but I still can’t lose the old feeling that all these neighborhoods are smack-dab in the middle of nothing. My only experience with UP is the son of my mom’s friend ending up there – back in the 80s – after failing out somewhere else. Not the best anecdote to go by – though he straightened up and did well.
Wow, thanks so much @GeorgiaMom50 and @chippedtoof for the great info on St. Mary’s and Berry.
@go2mom, thank you for following up on your impressions of Xavier. As I said in my original post, S isn’t on a mission to avoid all exposure to alcohol in college–he’s realistic and not freaked out about it. I think what he’s looking for is an environment where drunkenness in the dorms and the behaviors that accompany it are more the exception than the norm, where pregaming isn’t considered a must for attending sporting events, etc. From my own and my husband’s experiences at a variety of types of colleges and universities, I can vouch for there being a difference between a college culture where alcohol use/abuse is more in your face and and one where it has to be sought out. Different strokes for different folks, and luckily there are options for just about everyone!
Also we LOVE Portland, lived there briefly, and were really hoping he would like UP. He just didn’t warm up to the campus for whatever reason and that was that.
@UncannySV, when my D went on a college visit and heard about substance free dorms (aka wellness housing), she loved the idea. Not many colleges offer it but it’s very appealing to her.
She would not be comfortable with sloppy drunks in the dorm on a frequent basis. She’s grown up going to parties where there is some drinking so the drinking itself doesn’t seem to bother her. But she’s also been around drunk people doing stupid things and has an alcoholic relative, and those things have seriously turned her off. I would say she’d be equally turned off by other flagrant obnoxious behavior that doesn’t involve alcohol or drugs, though.
Hi everyone, I just found this thread. My son has a disappointing 3.3 GPA weighted and we’re waiting for his ACT score. Hopefully it will be good because he got a 30 on the mock test. He’s taking 3 AP courses. He only has one EC - cello. I’m trying not to be disappointed in him. He’s just not motivated. He’s smart and seems to enjoy some of his classes, to a degree, since he often talks about what they’re learning, but the drive just isn’t there. He got 2 C- grades last quarter - really disappointing after getting all As and Bs the previous quarter. I’d hoped that getting closer to college would spur him on, but it hasn’t. At least not enough. There’s only so much pushing I can do.
We’re looking at VA public schools (we live in VA) and Colleges that Change Lives (just discovered that and the descriptions sound perfect for him). Trying to lower my expectations - my whole life I’ve been oriented to Ivy League and selective colleges, so it’s hard to change focus. I know he’ll be fine in the long run but this is all making me very anxious. I get really stressed out by other kids who are more accomplished and have done a lot more. He just isn’t interested in doing a lot of stuff and I have to be okay with that, because that’s who he is.