Got to enjoy listening to S and his friends in their first concert, followed by good food and conversation, and a few hugs!
@Twoin18, at least you know he is eating!
Midterms got disrupted by Hurricane Michael. S18 took a few about ten days ago, and now has the remainder this week. He says he has Aās in everything, though sight reading is on the cusp. We will see.
We have not actually noticed a significant reduction of food consumed in the house, with S18 gone. He never ate a ton to begin with, and his 14 yr old brother (who runs cross country and plays club soccer, so often has two practices a day) seems to take it as a matter of honor to eat his brotherās share of the household food budget!
My S and his roommate (random/ good/ they are friends) are apparently on an island on their dorm floor, as the other guys (dorm halls are co-ed but split in the middle, gender-specific bathrooms on each end) are all āidiotsā (my nicer word) and he is annoyed a lot. They are all athletes, including my son, different sports. I am hoping it will calm down! At a small LAC where I didnāt really think this would be a big factor but what do I know.
S gets to relax for a couple of days while the college is on fall break. Itās too short to come home from that distance, so he wonāt be here until Thanksgiving break. He did very well on midterms, and is a little concerned that it may be a shock when classes get harder later on. High grades on easier classes early on can be like money in the bank later on though. That A first semester can make up for a C in a really tough class later on.
It is so exciting to read all the updates, and appears all are doing well at their respective schools. Havenāt talked to DD about her grades, as she is putting together her class schedule for next semester. She has been in to talk to her advisor a few times already and I am very happy with the advice she is being given.
She is already talking about moving out of the dorms next year, which I have vetoed. We save $4K for the year w/ the traditional dorms & I consider that worth it.
She gets a very long Thanksgiving break so is very much looking forward to it. I suggested she see if she can work a few hours while home for some spending money. Didnāt go over to well. 
D18 texted this morning that she is down with a case of tonsillitis. If that doesnāt make you miss your mama! Good news is we head out at the end of the week for Family weekend. Woop! I miss my girl! The hubsy asked me today how many suitcases we were taking and I asked him, āHow many can we take?!ā Is twelve too many? I want to take every thing I can to comfort and cheer her up. I mean Thanksgiving is a long time away and she needs her stuffed animal collection and heating pad, humidifier and well, maybe I better just settle down over hereā¦
She went to the campus clinic yesterday and they prescribed antibiotics and she didnāt even call me to tell me about it until they started making her feel better. Wow. Adulting. It happened that fast. 
Went to D18ās Family Weekend and had a great time. Got to play with puppies, enjoy the hype at Countdown to Craziness (although not in as good of seats as our daughter who was literally center court-side in the student section), eat lots of good food, go to a football game in the rain and our daughter even took us on a tour of some of her favorite napping spots on campus. No, Iām not joking. Lol. There were like 8 different places in the libraries that she has napped at on numerous occasions, all while maintaining a 4.0. But, the best part was seeing how well she has adapted and how many new friends she has made. Every time we turned around someone was calling her name, or giving her a hug, or greeting her with a huge smile. I am so glad that her decision was the right one and that she has truly found her place.
I thought I would not be posting this, but my daughter is not sure UCLA is the right fit. Sheās feeling overwhelmed. She changed classes, got the flu, and now says that if she wants to keep good grades she will have no time for an other extra curricular activities. She feels that the curve is going to be crazy there, and that sheās feeling like the school is to busy and big. She has made friends, joined a sorority, but after 4 weeks has been really stressed out, and has called me and he sister (who is at a different school) crying a lot. We are coming this weekend for parent weekend, and Iām hoping that this is just first quarter stress, but what if itās not. What if UCLA is not the right fit for her? What are her options? She got into lots of other schools, but would she be able to transfer? Sorry Iām going on and on, but all of these things are going through my head right now. The most important thing for me and my husband is that she has a good college experience. Sheās worried sheās going to disappoint us.
Thanks for your advice.
Just returned from two weeks visiting the boy! What can I say? We loved every minute of it. We loved the college, we loved the city, we loved seeing our boy with his new friends. His roomie, who contacted him before to have an arranged room mate, was great. They get on and hang out together - going down to NO for Halloween, and then to roomieās family for thanksgiving. We even got to see him in a concert - the icing on the cake.
Itās going to be a long 8 weeks till Christmas.
so glad that you enjoyed your trip, @Whistlingal. You were able to fit in so much and really get a feel for his experience. Iām happy that it was a good choice for him:)
@momtwin I am sorry you are dealing with this but it does seem like she is still in that 6-10 week adjustment period and it will take her a bit to get herself sorted out. Maybe she needs to get her course load under control, then add in the extra-curriculars etc. Its a lot all at once.
@Meddy glad your DD sorted herself out - I got a text last night from DD āI think I am getting an ear infection, can you take me to urgent care when you get here on Fridayā UM NO! Get your butt to the campus clinic first thing in the morning. Sheesh
@hopewhite25 so glad yāall had a great time!
@Whistlingal Wonderful news!
@momtwin , so sorry she is having a rough time! Does she have the ability to lighten her course load next semester so she can get her feet under her?
@momtwin, Iām so sorry your daughterās having a rough time. My son is a freshman at UCLA, also.
I read @hopewhite25ās post #16686 (saying that their child was saying hi to people left and right at Family Weekend) right reading before your post and thought to myself: āThere is no way my son will pass a person he even knows when we are at Family Weekend this week . . .ā Then I reminded myself that he wanted a big school with lots of classes/options, and sometimes what seems like support and camaraderie can feel stifling after a while for some people.
I am thinking good thoughts for your daughter and for you, also. It is so stressful for us parents to be worried about whether they are in the right place. I hope you will feel a lot better as she settles in over the rest of the year. Perhaps sheās also missing her twin?
@momtwin I think itās a lot to change classes (so starting behind in the new classes), and then get the flu so she missed even more work. Iām wondering how far behind she is, and depending on that whether she needs to drop a class or whether she can get her teachers to work with her to catch up. IMO it might not be so much about UCLA as about falling behind. Iām sorry sheās having a tough time.
@momtwin I agree that she is still early in the college experience. Sounds like she has a lot going on at the same time. Just got a call from my DD last night and she has also been ill, is overwhelmed w/ picking her class schedule and isnāt really making a lot of friends. However, she, like most of our family is more introverted by nature so actually does best w/ lots of alone time, but hasnāt embraced that personality trait just yet.
Iāve told mine she needs to slow down, attack one issue at a time, stop projecting into the future, and once the newness is over it wonāt seem so overwhelming. Of course, easy for me to say, harder for her to put into practice, but she needs to give it time.
Also, once they start thinking their school isnāt the right choice, it snowballs and soon they start thinking it would be better elsewhere. Maybe, but maybe not.
Theyāre scary times for some kids. Hopefully your visit this weekend will help her to center herself again.
Iām just back from parents Weekend. I had also visited D about a month prior. I thought it was interesting that in the first visit she was saying how easy it was, and the second visit how hard it was. They really ramped up the amount of work. And she was fighting off a cold, and were both grateful that she wasnāt succumbing to it. Of course we made the obligatory Target run, and bought more airborn and zicam. Sheās also been paying attention to her nutrition and has been eating to stay healthy and working out. Iām sure the missing piece is sleep. I was grateful to be able to visit this time because I met her friends and some of their parents and really liked all of them. It certainly makes a parent feel good when their kid has friends they can count on.
@SnowflakeVT @melvin123 @laralei @pickledginger Thank you for your responses. Iām hoping that all of the these things mentioned are the reason for her anxiety, and that hopefully after midterms she can breathe a little. She worked so hard in high school and I hate to see her not trying to make her ādreamā school work. I hope that visiting her this weekend will be a positive thing for her and a good chance to take a break. Although she said stressed about us being there and her having time to study.
@momtwin
My D18 is over-all pretty happy with her LAC-great profs, good food, and a very lively āsquadā.
The one significant drawback is that her group of close friends parties ALOT.
She does not. She is making an effort-sort of- to connect with some other kids.
Her best friend from high school is completely miserable at UPenn, but I donāt have the full story.
We have talked briefly about transferring when she is feeling bored or lonely, but then she has realized on her own that things are not so bad and SHE needs to do the work to try to be more involved.
It sounds like your D is feeling something similar to her friend at UPennāit is just too muchāeverything is STILL a competitionā¦
That is a tough one. Maybe talk calmly to her about the transfer option and she will remember why she chose that school/or not.
She certainly has a lot of options if she got into UCLA.
@momtwin, I have heard of lots of kids having a rough time making this adjustment. It is still fairly early days and hopefully she can get settled in. Hopefully youāll feel better about things after your visit. I know this is very stressful on you. Itās a helpless feeling. Make sure you take care of yourself too.
I was discussing with my co-worker, also a Mom of a Freshman who is an athlete and who while not questioning the school choice, her child is struggling with the work load. Mom reminded student what the mentor said. There are three things going on; Social, Athletics and Academics. You cannot give 100% to all and will need to make some choices along the way.
I think some kids are so wrapped up in the āexperienceā factor that they forget this is still college, they are going to have to work at everything and while the experience will come, its not instantaneous, its a package. I also think some kids view this āexperienceā as one might a highly anticipated event ie a vacation or a wedding, prom etc. There is this expectation that they are going to have a wonderful experience right NOW and the reality is this is still the day to day drudgery of studying, homework, laundry, sorting out what to eat and when to sleep etc.
We watched several of DDās friends go thru something similar last year, it took some time but everyone has settled in and so far, no school changes have occurred in her friends group. Like a previous poster said, remind her why this was her dream school and encourage her to give it the time it really needs to start to stick, become familiar and satisfying.