@Longhaul I can’t imagine the poor kid who didn’t see his college until registration. What is wrong with people?
Hmmm. I didn’t see the college I attended until after I had committed to it. We were poor and the college was half way across the country and there was no way to get there ahead of time. I did visit some local schools, and really don’t understand someone not seeing a school 2 hours away from home, but there are lots of reasons that kids don’t see their schools ahead of time.
@TwinMom2023 There are many families who cannot afford to visit schools.
I briefly saw my future university in middle school when my sister toured. My parents took me on zero visits (youngest kid). I’ve really enjoyed the visits as a parent. I’m a little concerned though, about summer orientations. D19 will likely be going far from home which could necessitate 2 visits next summer and that will be extremely hard to do - either considering the time for driving or the cost of flying. Anyone with older kids know what happens if you can’t get to mid-summer orientation?
Not everyone can afford the travel expenses of visiting schools. My kid wants to stay within two hours of home. And we live in central PA. Which means he has many options within the radius. We were able to do visits on weekends.
At least now, there are virtual tours and lots of ways to get know a school without a physical visit. My Northeast 17-year-old self went through a Pitzer phase and all I had was a brochure. 
Many many moons ago, the first time I saw my college was when I showed up. The only things I knew about the school were everyone dressed up in the same clothes every day and ate at the same time. Had I visited, I may not have gone. As it was, by the time I decided to leave, my hair had been shaved off and I didn’t want to go out into the real world looking like a dork. I decided to stay. :))
In the end, it all worked out. I’m doing what I went to the college to grow up to be.
After my experience, I made sure my kids looked at a couple of their schools before applying.
@Longhaul I never said that a parent shouldn’t " help" a student in the application process. I helped review my DS19 and DS16s applications. I took them on college tours and helped research potential colleges. I still feel that a student should fill out his applications. I still feel that it is inappropriate for a parent to completely fill out all parts of an application and submit it without input from a student. There is an attestation on every application that the student must attest to.
Please don’t misconstrue or misrepresent what I said . I never said or implied that a student should not have assistance in the process. Completing and submitting an entire application is not assisting, it’s doing.
I totally get not being able to travel across the country, but that poor kid must have been so stressed. 
With S17, he did not visit any OOS schools until after acceptance and financial offers were in. He did not visit all that he was accepted to. S19 was lucky to visit two this summer but if he adds any more, it will be after acceptance and offer.
It would be a bit stressful to accept an offer from a school never visited but the reality is, many many do. Visits can be very expensive.
I never visited my college until orientation and it was a 15 minute bus ride from home. My D accepted her college and then we visited. S12 came with us on the visit and decided he would go there as well. He didn’t visit another school except Stony Brook, where he refused to get out of the car (the visit was at dad’s insistence, son had zero interest). S17 accepted his college and then I was able to get him on a free weekend tour the school was sponsoring. I didn’t see his school till his orientation. H has still never been at S17’s school. If you have the time and money to go around visiting colleges, that’s great. Many of us don’t.
We visited every school that DS16 applied to and will visit every school DS19 has on his list. The school that is furthest away is 7 hrs away. We planned a vacation around that trip, all other schools are within 3 1/2 hrs. We realize that we are very fortunate to be able to visit and many cannot.
I didn’t visit my school till orientation. I survived.
Didn’t mean to be insensitive to budgetary constraints - my apologies.
Meanwhile, I had a glimpse into the future this weekend with parents weekend for nephew. I’m not ready to send my girls off in 11 months. The party scene took me by surprise. Not sure how I thought partying had calmed down in 30 years. Ugh. His friends (girls) headed to frat parties in tiny shorts and tube tops. I felt like Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday yelling, “Make good choices!” I’m trying not to freak out, but it was scary to me. Am I the only one worried about this? I no longer believe it matters how prepared kids are. They get to college and that is the culture and kids just join the group.
That’s why finding “fit” is SO important!
Even at a large university where this is rampant, kids still need to be sure they can find “their people”.
It’s so much easier to find out information about distant places today than it was even 10 years ago. You can stalk social media accounts, drone fly-through footage, zoom in on Google Earth, read every issue of the campus newspaper… There are reviews of colleges for LGBT and fandoms and clubs. You can connect with actual students on various bulletin boards. It’s just so different now than it was in our day.
When you visit campus it’s easier to find out things that the glossy website tries to hide from you, that’s true. But you can find out those things on social media without too much effort. We have one college on The List that kiddo will not have set foot on before commencement, if he decides to go there. I’m not at all worried that he will feel out of place there if he goes.
@TwinMom2023 , yes, look into fit, and trust your child! My DD is a sophomore at LMU, she’s a nondrinker. She found her people last year and is doing just fine…she just told me how at an event this weekend, she and her friends “people watched” all the wasted people on the lawn. Partying happens but not everyone is doing it! I think it absolutely matters how prepared your child is and how solid they feel in themselves and their choices. Meanwhile I see on my instagram, some of DD’s HS “friends” are doing exactly what you describe…drinking in tube tops and short shorts. Is your child doing ok with peer pressure now? If so, I would trust that that would continue…and there are SO MANY more options of types of people to hang out with, thank goodness.
I’d argue that fit gets pushed way too far on CC.
Beyond macro-level stuff (big state school, LAC, religious college, and so on), I’d argue that any student can find their fit anywhere. By focusing on micro-level fit, we’re setting way too many students up for dissatisfaction in the face of tiny little disappointments in places where they could actually be completely happy.
A lot of posts on CC make it sound like all college kids are either non-drinkers (with the air of moral superiority that implies) or wild party animals when these are actually the two extremes.
My D16 probably attends two or three parties each semester and steers clear of frat parties. On any campus you will find non-drinkers, partiers and normal college kids who drink sometimes, like maybe a halloween party. Most kids are probably in the last category, have many other interests and are not getting into any trouble.
The irony of my twins is that one wants to be in a sorority and is curious about the party scene, but is not a party girl now due to her lack of opportunities. I can totally see her going along with the crowd and being naive. My other twin has morphed from the holier-than-thou to liking beer and hard cider, but is an introvert and a little salty so she probably wouldn’t be invited. LOL.
Maybe that is it - they have zero context or experience with parties so they are clueless. I really hope that the party culture this weekend was just a small part or one extreme. Thank you for talking me off the ledge.
I agree %1000 with @dfbdfb about fit getting pushed way too far on CC. And every year we see posts from students disappointed in their experience freshman year and bemoaning that they didn’t find the right “fit.” Finding the best fit is not a magic wand that makes (1) all your professors brilliant and your classes just the right degree of challenging but not too hard, (2) all obstacles and disappointments disappear and (3) the perfect group of friends and soulmates appear.