Wow, not only does my D”s allowance certainly not extend to paying other students to do her chores for her, I think she would feel Incredibly uncomfortable with the implied power structure in doing that. I totally get the “princess” comment in that light. (It also feels to me like there is a difference between just doing laundry for someone and actually cleaning up their mess.)
D19’s other two suitemates were incredibly messy and dirty last semester. To be clear, all the girls were messy and honest on their applications about it - but there is a difference between messy, and not taking out trash, leaving dirty dishes in the sink for days, etc. D19 and her roommate have stayed roommates but moved into a different suite. So far so good with the new suitemates.
@milgymfam, sorry about your daughter. Hope this all passes without too much disruption to her.
Earlier I mentioned one of DD’s scholarships was going to send her a job opportunity. She got the email this week with the job description and she’s thinking dream job! Good pay and totally related to her major. She got her resume in this week. Her downfall is they want a longer term than the summer and she can only do summer break so I have no idea if they’ll agree to that.
@bjscheel - sounds great with the job! Hopefully they will work with her. S19 is enjoying his campus job and making some good connections.
I was feeling nostalgic and remembering always making homemade valentines with the kids, and in a moment of weakness I offered to make some for my S to give to the girls on his hall. He has become good friends with several of the girls on his floor and also gave out the Shutterfly Christmas cards to all, so I thought that might be fun for him. He definitely liked that idea and asked for 20! So,I guess I’ll be getting crafty during the super bowl.
@elena13 I have decided that I love your son. lol. That’s a sweet story about the valentines! And now you’ve got me thinking about making homemade valentines for S19 and his friends!!
Good news, DD got an email back on her job application/scheduling note and they said it was VERY flexible and they can tailor it to the candidate…and they look forward to communicating more after the job opening closes! So there is hope.
I don’t usually send care packages since she’s home pretty often, but maybe I will send something for Valentine’s. It will be the start of tech week for this performance she doesn’t like and has been taking up every evening. And her BF is wrestling every weekend and no time to come see her. So she’ll need a perk.
Ugh. D19 called today & I could hardly understand her because she was so congested (allergies). She wanted advice on whether to go to math class, but I found out she wanted for me to tell her it was ok to skip. Since she went to an interview (for an on campus position in the fall) in the morning & planned to go to her physics class in the afternoon, I told her she should go to math class followed by saying she could do whatever she wanted, of course, since she’s the college student.
I’m sending her a delivery tomorrow with some tissues, comfort food, vitamin C fruits, & more allergy meds. Poor kid!
She had an interview for a part time job a couple days ago that sounds interesting. It won’t pay the bills for summer, but would be something she could fit it now if they hire her. She hasn’t heard back from any of her other internship applications yet.
S19 is struggling with a choice: to declare a double math/CS major, or just a math major. He wants to go to graduate school for math, so it kind of makes sense to take more math electives, but he likes CS also, and it’s possible he’ll change his mind and decide to get a programming job, in which case a CS degree may be better…or not necessarily?
@yucca10 my advice here isn’t rocket science but I suppose he should cover his bases and take the classes needed for both majors. S19 is undecided and is keeping one math and one physics class on his schedule this semester to see if he can narrow it down. I’d say he’s 80 percent likely to choose one of those for his majors but it’s still possible he would major in something completely different so, for his other two classes, he’s chosen subjects he’s interested in as well.
Just because your S declares a major soon, it doesn’t mean he can’t change it down the line. I would have him look at how many classes the math major and the comp sci major require. Map out classes just for the next few quarters and plan for both. At some point, he will decide whether he wants to keep both or if he’s losing interest in comp sci. I imagine it certainly doesn’t hurt for a math major to have some comp sci so, even if he decides to drop that idea, those classes certainly weren’t a waste.
D19 has to apply for her major at West Point. It’s one of the few that is capped. All the plebes have to choose a major by 1 March. She had to submit an app with an essay. She should know by the end of next week, and I’m crossing my fingers she gets good news.
With her planned summer training, she may be home only 2-3 weeks this summer. We’ve accepted we won’t get to spend too much time with her anymore, so we take every opportunity to fly out to NY for special events. She had only 2 weeks for Christmas break. Our D16 at WashU got 4 weeks.
@bjscheel That’s great the job opportunity looks like it’s going to work out.
@homerdog yes, he mapped all four years, he’s an obsessively planning type For a double major, it’s a very tight schedule starting the sophomore year or maybe even the spring quarter of this year, and not a lot of choice. Without it, he’ll still take CS classes but he’ll be more free to pick and choose those he’s interested in (more theoretical CS), so the schedules will diverge right away. So the one-major path looks more attractive in terms of classes and of course not being overworked all the time, but I wonder about the resume. I guess he can put CS coursework on his resume, right? plus various hackathons and other experiences.
@yucca10 Assuming your S has spoken with his academic advisor and/or math and CS dept heads. Has he also spoken with the career center? They might be able to give some guidance wrt what employers are looking for, in the types of the jobs he is interested in.
If he decides not double major, maybe a minor in CS could make sense.
@yucca10 Hm. I guess the path just isn’t as strict at Bowdoin. S19 needs seven more math classes for a major and six more for physics. But it’s so early, just freshman year. Six more semesters after this so plenty of time to be one major or the other or both since he’s got 24 more classes left to take until graduation. It must be different for your S if planning the classes is so tight.
@homerdog Yes, they have a lot of general requirements and absolutely no AP credits. Caltech is a tough place to do even a single major, let alone two. There isn’t much time to shop around unless you test out of several classes which few can pull off.
@yucca10 then I would stick with doing both majors until and if comp sci peters out!
Bowdoin didn’t take S19’s APs for credit but they did place him out of all of calc because of his score and a placement test that proved he was good with Multivariable. It did not, however, help with the major because no math counts towards the major until Linear Algebra which was his first class there! So eight classes including LA will be enough for the major. I do agree that taking more than the eight would be best if he were thinking of grad school for math but he is not.
Oh, this is one of those Very Hard to be a College Parent times. S19 had a very bad past couple of days. If bad stuff will just make you worry about your own student, Do Not Read The Following.
After making it through multiple cuts, he didn’t get into an organization he really, really liked and wanted in to.
A good friend in the dorm came to him saying she had been raped a few hours earlier. He started texting me while she was there as we tried to convince her that (a) she should tell her parents, really, despite her fear that they would immediately withdraw her and (b) she should report it, or at least go to the health center to have them process a rape kit so there would be evidence later. She absolutely did not want anyone, especially police or health center to know. Yes, a few hours later she did go to the health center and got processed, although she has decided not to report for now, even though she Sees The Kid In The Dorm Daily. Or maybe because of it. And her parents…did they drop everything and come to her? No, they were busy, only had a couple minutes to talk on the phone, but she should, “Do whatever you think is best.” I. Want. To. Hurt. Them. This was so beyond S19’s emotional ability. And mine.
A girl in his dorm who is also in a sorority asked him to be her date Friday night for a key sorority function. She got horribly drunk at the pre-function, and while the buses left for the main function, he sat in a room with her while she threw up, then got an Uber to take them both back, got her into her bed, and kept checking all night “to make sure she didn’t die.” Oh, and she is his date for next week’s Honors function, although he would rather not see her again.
Last night I was on the phone with him until 2 am, both of us crying.
@SammoJ oh no. I’m so sorry. College is a challenge in so many ways, not just academics. I hope he can continue to support his friends but he also needs to take care of himself. Maybe he can talk his friend into seeing a counselor at school. She should talk to someone even if she doesn’t report.
As for the drunk date, let’s hope she gets her act together for the next dance. I would have your son lightly ask her if she’s going to repeat that since he hopes not and wants them to both have fun at the dance. Maybe she learned her lesson. Being that drunk does not feel good.
For a double major, it’s a very tight schedule starting the sophomore year or maybe even the spring quarter of this year, and not a lot of choice. Without it, he’ll still take CS classes but he’ll be more free to pick and choose those he’s interested in (more theoretical CS), so the schedules will diverge right away. So the one-major path looks more attractive in terms of classes and of course not being overworked all the time, but I wonder about the resume. I guess he can put CS coursework on his resume, right? plus various hackathons and other experiences.