Parents of the HS Class of 2021 (Part 1)

Parents Forum Class of 20xx Community
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@NJWrestlingmom We’ve been there with an English teacher too. My favorite move was when she assigned an essay that would be 50% (50%!!!) of the grade and put the due date at the end of the quarter. She had no rubric, no first draft check in where the kids could see if they were on the right track. None of the kids knew how they did on the paper until their quarter grades came out since it was such a large percentage of the grade. Lots of kids who had As ended up with Bs for the quarter because she handed out a bunch of Cs on the papers. Parents and kids were furious and stormed the principals office. That teacher was taken out of this honors English class the very next quarter. Maybe she should have taught the kids to write or given them more direction before the final grade on that paper but she was so lazy and would have “reading in class” days where the kids (and she!!) would READ whatever they wanted in class every single Monday. They sat in class and read! Like what? Why wasn’t she using that time to teach?

Anyway, it was good she got moved out. D21 was assigned her for this year and, when we saw her schedule, I marched right into the guidance office and said that is not happening and they changed her schedule right there!

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I just started following this 2021 page and I am glad for the information. I really feel for these kids who are supposed to be everything to everyone. My D21 sounds very similar: self driven, dancer, holding herself to an impossible standard. Ballet is such a tricky EC because in our area, it is really not looked at like a sport, but it has a similar time commitment and even more if they do additional productions. I am unaware of dancers being recruited to colleges the way basketball payers are and I dont know that my daughter could realistically pursue preprofessional training and maintain her current academics, there is simply not enough time in the day. I’m torn between letting her reach for the stars and staying safe. In the college search she has the added wrinkle of needing to manage celiac disease and advocate for herself in that. I would love for her to be able to do some test prep over the summer, be done with testing early, and be able to make an appropriate college list. Her GC recc 2-3 state safeties, 3-4 target mid range 2-3 reach (stated as anything <40% acceptance). Being in a big public school, it does feel hard to stand out, but I am hopeful she can build some resiliency throughout some disappointments before going away to school. She has had similar experiences in courses where she had a solid grade only to see it drop by 5 points when things were added the last day of the MP with no notice or recourse.

Thank you for your honesty is discussing how it really is for kids ina very complex admission process, I really appreciate it.

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Oh my, I can feel for all of you posting about stress levels of your kids. My D, and others in her Chem Honors class, have basically had to self teach themselves. The teacher is nice but it’s his first year teaching HS (was a college professor) and he has trouble explaining concepts so the kids can understand and he doesn’t follow the book. Several kids dropped the class last semester. Luckily, D got an A last semester but is barely hanging on to an A this semester.

Oh and @NJWrestlingmom and @homerdog, don’t even get me started on D’s English Honors teacher as well. Last semester she had so many outstanding grades to put in that were nearly a month-and-a-half from when turned in. D had no idea how she was doing in the class bc of the heavy weight of many of these grades not put in. She clung to an A last semester and so far this semester but it’s been stressful. She only has two Sophmore classes, the rest of her classes are AP Lang, and D was one of the unlucky ones to get her this year. She refuses to take AP Lang bc of her experience with this teacher as she doesn’t want to get her again next year. She learned so much and really enjoyed her Freshman English Honors teacher but this year is a complete 180.

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Same here @rjm2018. This teacher has killed her confidence - she wanted to drop honors English next year. Last year she had an A in English, and her teacher loved her! She wanted to major in Creative Writing or something; this year she says she’s a bad writer and doesn’t know what to major in. Luckily, her teacher from last year is also a club advisor so D still talks to her. She has given tips on how to deal with this year’s teacher and helped bring her confidence back a bit. I just can’t wait for this year to be over! This teacher does teach something senior year, but D won’t have her, I can assure you of that!

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@homerdog and @MPT3D My D17 danced ballet intensively through the end of HS and it left room for almost nothing else. Having a narrow EC profile didn’t seem to hurt her when it came time for admissions, but she also didn’t apply to Ivies/Stanford/Chicago, but a tier or two down.

At one point, we removed our D from the studio where she had been since a young age because the director emotionally guilted the girls to excess. Fortunately there was another studio/company that turned out to be a better fit. Had there not been an alternative, we would have pulled her and found something else for her to do. The good thing is that ballet is very transferable to other dance forms, martial arts, etc. We even know a girl who went on to have a notable career as a wrestler in HS.

BTW, D17 is no longer doing ballet except for a couple of weekly classes. Hard to believe after all of that intensity, but she has found other dance genres to explore as well as ECs that have nothing to do with dance in college. Life does go on.

D21 has only two structured ECs, one physical and one intellectual. But being the kid she is, she has decided to do both at a high level and doesn’t have as much down time as we would like.

Happily, all of her teachers are great this year and she’s enjoying her studies, although she wouldn’t mind a bit less math homework!

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I cannot believe 10th is winding down already–so odd. Haven’t been on in a while, here is an update:

D21 is at a private k-12, APs are capped /restricted each year, so of the three options for 10th(they can pick only one) she is in APChem (they do regular first yr chem in 9th at this school, for everyone). Wow, so hard. I am sure she has learned a lot about efficiency and study skills etc–at least I hope so! Hopefully will be the only B+of the year, but one never knows I guess–there is another class on the border. Science is actually not really her strong suit but she does enjoy it. History is her favorite subject, French second. So next year she’ll have 2 APs in history and then AP calc as her APs(3 is max). She will likely go into college undecided and we think that is absolutely the best option considering who she is etc.

Testing went fine as far as the PSAT 10 (1380, school college counselor says that is good, no big issues there) The main hurdle has been not freaking out on tests, and not procrastinating studying. She has matured a lot this year, and is having a better grade year than 9th (not that 9th was “bad”, likely top 25% but the school doesn’t rank and doesn’t say range for sure until 12th–so I only have previous years’ data). This year she has pulled the GPA up and should be able to get near top 15% maybe by 12th?! We are grateful to have a school where the kids go right to the teachers about any concerns or issues, the teachers tell them the truth (lol!!) on their study habits, and as parents we are told let them own it and do not get involved with homework or teachers etc etc. So we don’t–I have not seen homework or a textbook up close since 6th grade–but it is soooooo hard when you have one of those kiddos not quite working to their full potential. I am hopeful we have turned a corner this year.

In other areas: she plays violin, rock climbs, kayaks, is very involved with and absolutely loves her job (summer job but has year-round requirements of sorts), her third summer working there.

College tours–weird but we started early because her personality seemed to need a vision of what is ahead so she can get excited , make some goals and then go after them:

We did the survey of the state publics to get a feel for size/location fit decision:

Wiliiam and Mary: LOVED. loved. Said she wanted to go there that day: has since realized she likes other options a bit better, but seems like if she stays on track this is a match school for her(HS Naviance)so that is really nice to have.

UVA: hated it, from the admissions talk to the tour, even the questions she got answered?! We were so surprised–basically she felt overwhelmed and it was too big. Unfortunately some is bias of which kids from her HS go there and her not feeling like that is her group, which we have tried to tell her is nonsensical because it represents a tiny fraction of the undergrad population. I guess we won’t make her apply, but I do think she may need to at least give it another chance as it is the state flagship etc.

Va Tech: Umm. HUGE. Off the list for her. It has so much climbing/outdoor options around it etc, so fits her in that way, but even her college counselor said so why is that still on your list if you felt like UVA was too big?
So after those three, she looked on some websites for ones similar-ish to Wm&Mary in size/setting etc and then I looked at ones that were open on our spring break:

Wake Forest: liked. A good fit, she can see herself there (even though it sleeted the whole tour), based on naviance and her college counselor should be a match.
Emory : She was kind of meh . Not sure why but she didn’t like as well as Wake or William and Mary but still on list.
Vanderbilt: Good grief she loved it, every single thing, and it bumped William and Mary out of her favorite top spot, but very much gets that it is a complete reach and her counselor echoed the same. We are not going to look at any other reaches until much later in process.

So we need some safeties–we think we might look in the Northeast corridor a bit, maybe some a bit smaller too, this summer or into fall.
Any thoughts ? Goal is similar size/feel to William and Mary (5-6k undergrads), or a bit smaller, but an actual real true safety.

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@2Devils – University of Delaware might be a true safety. Or University of Vermont? I’ve not been to either I’ve heard nice things about both and they are smaller than UVA or VA Tech.

Lehigh might be another match to consider.

Sounds like she’s not looking at smaller LACs? Franklin & Marshall might be worth a look – it’s large for an LAC.

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Thanks, @AlmostThere2018 ! I will look into those. We will probably look at LACs but not super small ones (so maybe 2k-4k? I think since we haven’t seen that size we should).

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Oooh helpful conversation going on. D21 liked William and Mary enough when we visited with S19 but liked Davidson better. I’m thinking a trip is in order to see Davidson again and Wake and Richmond. I’m also starting to think a little about USCarolina honors as a safety for her. If anyone knows anything about that, I’m all ears. I’m sure she’d love Vandy but we won’t visit. I feel pretty strongly that visiting big reaches is not a good idea for the psyche of a student. If they get in, then visit. Vanderbilt couldn’t care less if a student visits before applying. And, if S19 got waitlisted at Vandy RD, then D21 definitely not getting in RD. I am thinking more about her maybe using ED at a high match along side a few EAs. I don’t think anyone in this house wants to do the 14-school all-RD thing again. If she loves Davidson, Richmond or Wake then one of those may be her ED.

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@2Devils – My D is at Davidson and loves it! It’s right at 2000. Richmond is larger – I think 3000?

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I went to Lafayette. Beautiful campus, small LAC but also had strong engineering as well. About 2500. It has become pretty competitive to get into. But if you do end up out that way look would also recommend taking a look at Lehigh and Villanova. Lehigh and Villanova are both slightly larger at about 6000. More along the lines size wise as WM, Vandy and WF.

My advice is find some TRUE safeties. Understand that Naviance scattorgrams are not totally reliable and can be misleading based on athletes, legacies etc.

My daughter applied to what we considered 3 reach (Brown, Princeton and Vandy) 2 match schools (UNC, UVA) althougth based on what I know now for out of state students those were also reaches even with 35ACT and 4.0UW and 10 APs etc…and 2 safeties (Clemson and Udel) Only got into Clemson, UDel.

My D18 daughter loved Vandy as well. Unfortunately got wait listed there. Also the 70K sticker price was a bit off putting.

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@2Devils We also looked at VA schools with S21 over spring break. Like you said, he needs to have a vision of what he’s aiming for. And, I agree, we didn’t visit reaches. He can visit those if accepted (but would do what’s needed for demonstrated interest if that ends up being an important factor). His preferences were the complete opposite – did not like W&M, liked VA Tech best. Couldn’t see why anyone would go to a college smaller than his high school so I guess the small LACs are off the table.

For true safeties (both in acceptance and cost), has she considered Christopher Newport or Mary Washington? Both similar in size to W&M. Looks like the latest admission stats put GPA/SATs a bit higher at CNU?

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Nice to read updates from everyone! My D21 is in the midst of finals and AP prep and keeping up with extracurriculars and still trying to make sure there are dual enrollment Spanish class possibilities for next year. It’s a hectic time and then it’s a busy summer of volunteer work, Girl Scout Gold Award work, family vacations, and her last year at CTY summer camp.

She homeschools, and her classes are through different providers with which selective colleges are familiar (CTY Online, PAHS APs etc). They are all on different timetables, so she had two finals last week (AP Bio and AP Calculus AB), she has one final this week (AP Spanish), two finals in mid-May, one course with no finals (easy elective), and one course with no finals but essays every single day until the AP exam (AP English Language). She’s at that point where the end is close but there is still much at stake with AP English and all those last minute essay grades (it’s the end-of-the-year Boot Camp portion of the class, AP test prep galore). She got an A by the skin of her teeth in AP Bio, she has an A locked in for AP Spanish, but we don’t know what she has for Calc yet and there are so many essays left to do for AP English that she could end up with an A or a B (she has a 93.8 right now, which is an A- for this class). I think she’s safely in the A range for the non-AP classes.

The AP Calc and the AP English course are purposefully preparing her for the exams, but I don’t think her AP Spanish or AP Bio courses ever had her do actual AP practice tests, so she’ll start going over prep books this weekend and add self-study with the prep books to her daily schedule until the exams.

Still crossing fingers for a Spanish class at our state public college for her post-AP classes during 11th and 12th. The college students have first pick, then what’s left can go to the homeschooled kids. She needs to take a placement test over the summer, but she’s not here most of the summer, so she’s trying to take the placement test next month instead. I really hate having to wait until August to know whether or not she can get into a class - makes me very nervous. She needs a Spanish class for next year, and she’s past the local cc class levels (they only do beginning Spanish). She could do online again, but I want her in a classroom next year for Spanish.

Phew - it felt good writing all that out. She feels hectic and nervous right now since she’s in the midst of the end-of-year tests, and so do I on her behalf. This is such a busy and stressful time of year. Summer will be busy too, but no grades are involved, so it’ll feel much more relaxed even though her schedule is packed. She likes to be super busy, but I know she’ll be happy when all the exams are through for the year.

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FWIW, my definitions for RD cycle only. If you apply ED, it varies a lot by college so altogether different calculus.

Safety: your child is at or above 75 percentile in GPA and SAT/ACT and the overall acceptance rate is above 50%.

Match: at or above 75th percentile with GPA and SAT/ACT and overall acceptance is between 25% and 50%.

Reach: at or above 75 percentile with GPA and SAT/ACT and acceptance is less than 25%.

Finally, less than 10% acceptance is not worth the app fee unless you have a hook, IMHO.

Teasing out RD acceptances from ED acceptances is very informative too – as they are sometimes half as much as – or even less – than overall acceptance rates…

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I think I’ve said this before but, if you have Naviance and can get as much detail as you can from your GC on the kinds of kids accepted at a certain college, that’s the best way to figure out reach, match, safety. We definitely have schools that would be reaches without that info but are really matches coming from our school. Same goes the other way. Some should be match but are reach for various reasons. And then there are schools that are reaches but are honestly impossible from our school. No need to bother. You won’t be the first one in five years to get in. Isn’t happening.

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@janiewalker. I didn’t know whether or not to like or commiserate for your last post. Sounds like a very intense final stretch for your daughter! And a 94 cut off for AP English is a pretty high bar, IMO! For us, finals aren’t until late May.

@AlmostThere2018 Pretty much agree with you on your basic definitions, unless you’re searching for merit too, and then, who knows? For those single digit admit schools, I could see taking a roll of the dice for one or two if you keep expectations low (nonexistent?) and your kid has the stomach for the extra essays. I do know of a few examples of high-achieving kids with no obvious hooks who have hit the Ivy/Stanford/Chicago jackpot but I can’t say why or how.

@homerdog With our D17, Naviance was somewhat helpful but things change so quickly that even positive admissions data that’s only a couple of years old can be misleading. The converse, as you mention, is more reliable. If there’s a history of denials, it’s unlikely to reverse itself in the current admissions landscape.

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@homerdog – Yes, Naviance is helpful but our HS is small – only 200 kids per class so that limits the data points. For many selective privates there may only be four or six dots from the past 5 years and you don’t know if they had hooks, applied ED, were recruited athletes, etc. Good point about no acceptances though – that’s a red flag for sure.

Once you get to popular nearby privates and our many publics I feel like the data’s a lot more reliable.

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Thanks, @mamaedefamilia! The 94 cut-off for an A is the highest D21 has ever had. And there are ten AP-style essays for the final two weeks of class (one a day), and all that makes up a significant portion of the final grade, and it’s all in the final stretch… so it’s a bit stressful. Have to say though - I’m not really complaining (though it probably comes across that way, lol) because the course is fantastic and my daughter has become a much better writer during this past year. The teacher is first-rate and all this work prepares her for more difficult things later. So it’s a good thing in the long run. :slight_smile:

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Thanks, everyone, for the help! I am taking note of all of these great school suggestions.

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@2Devils we have a family friend whose daughter is thriving at Elon. We think that will be a very secure admittance (hopeful I with merit $) choice for my D21. Vandy is her current dream school and if she stays on track, she’ll have the stats to roll the dice but we won’t waste as visit unless demonstrated interest comes into play and I’ve read conflicting reports on that.