How does this work? What’s “approved” expenses? Something for us to think about for D22.
Chiming in on this conversation, I’ve learned long ago to not look at my wife and D22’s receipts for shoes, clothes, backpacks/wallets/purses, haircuts, etc. It’s remarkable how different our views are on what’s reasonable for these types of purchases (and we’re both relatively prudent with spending).
@LostInTheShuffle – She knows she can use the credit card at the drug store for medicine, vitamins, and basic personal care items w/o asking.
Otherwise, she has to text us b4 she plans to use it – for an oil change in the car or a haircut, which we do still pay for, and get the thumbs up from us. (The latter is a bargain – she gets her hair cut like 3 times a year.)
If she uses the card to buy something online for herself (b/c that’s safer than using her debit card, which is linked to her own money, online) then she keeps track of it on a running spreadsheet that we reconcile every 4 months or so.
For example, she’s living off campus with a small on campus dining plan so we gave her $$ this semester for groceries. Before giving her that $$ she deducted what she owed us from using the credit card for clothes and such that she bought over the winter break.
For the record, she tried to get her own card from her bank about a year ago and was denied. Her feelings were hurt, lol! She learned from friends that Discover probably would give her one but she’d moved on and didn’t apply. Now that she has a lease and some utilities in her name I’m guessing this summer she will get her own credit card b/c she’ll have a credit score. We’ll see…
For kids currently in college, it’s mostly gas and groceries. Other things I expect a text or call first or right after.
When they were in high school, it was gas and “things that I would normally pay for.” So for example if they went to the grocery store because they wanted candy, their cost. They got granola bars to have at home for easy breakfast or their favorite cereal we are out of, I pay for.
Usually eating out they did on debit cards but sometimes I would specifically tell them it was OK to use the credit card, usually because they were taking their little sister with them or I was having them eat out for my convenience more than their own.
On many occasions it was handy because they could pick up some thing from the grocery store or Walmart on the way home from school.
I think having a credit card where you can get phone notifications whatever charges are made eliminates 90% of the temptation to charge something they shouldn’t. Mine is Capital One but I’m guessing other places do that too.
They all pushed it a little bit, it was easier to get away with before I got the notifications. But their pushing it was things like charging eight dollars to go out to eat with their buddies, and even that didn’t happen much.
Adding on to the credit card conversation… I gave my D an authorized user card on my Amex account when she turned 16 and got a car. I can set a spending limit per billing cycle, the statement tracks her use separately from mine and I get notifications on my phone whenever she uses it.
She uses her own money (MasterCard debit card) for gas and eating out so it’s rare she charges more than $50 a month. That’s usually for things I ask her to pickup for me or items I would pay for anyway (car maintenance, approved clothing expenditures, haircuts, etc.) The only time she hit the $200 monthly limit is when I let her use it for some of her college apps. Hahaha! When she traveled with school or friends I could easily increase the spending limit for that billing cycle.
She’s 18 and will most likely apply for her own card this summer. We need to research the best credit cards for students. Ive read in several places that Discover has one specifically for students. I’ll keep reading here to see what has worked for all of you. Thanks!
I am going to go do a self guided tour at UCSC with S21 today. If there is anything I can check out or take some photos of for you, please let me know. I’d be happy to.
Tried to send this over PM but could not see how to.
Thanks, @AlmostThere2018 and @dadof4kids. I thought it was an automated process! It’s a relief that I am not so out of touch.
We currently operate on a reimbursement basis whereby D22 tells me at the end of each month the things she has charged to her debit card which we have agreed to pay for (e.g., transportation). But I agree it would be sensible to get her an authorized user card before she leaves for college and set up a spending limit (like @DramaMama2021).
Checked with D18- she has the Capital One Journey card. Terrible APR, but has no foreign transaction fees. She thought she might study abroad, so that would be useful.
@AlmostThere2018 She also got turned down when she went for a non student credit card the first time. We thought she would be ok since she had been an authorized user on ours for several years, I guess not!
We do essentially the same thing and it’s worked out fine. Neither of my kids are big spenders, for which I am grateful.
We did find it surprisingly hard for my eldest to get a CC in her own name, and yes, Discover came through. It’s not like back in my day where the CC companies were begging college students to sign up.
What my wife and I did when we were in college was get our own credit cards (even back then, Discover would give a credit card to a college kid with sketchy income).
I like the kids having a card on my account better, because we can see what they are charging. When my wife and I got married, she came with $3-4,000 on a credit card from college that her dad didn’t know about. Not for dumb things, she was actually pretty tight and good with money even then. But probably if he had been involved month to month and seen that she was struggling to make ends meet, he could have helped her or at least helped her figure out a better system than just gradually increasing her balance every month.
That worries me about getting S21 his own card, not linked to mine. He is good with money, but it is easy to rack up debt.
My old neighbor racked up a few thousands in CC debt on a card at school, when you are friends with kids that have unlimited money it’s easy to spend.
I have to think that kids who have parents who are responsible with money will themselves be responsible. Our kids can barely spend their own money since they’ve lived in this house their whole lives and see how we (probably) over-think most purchases and do with a lot less than our neighbors.
When S19 was in middle school, he had a good stash of money from his birthday and I took him to the Lego store to buy a gift. He was paralyzed. Kept saying “but if I spend the money then I won’t HAVE the money,” I think we’ve freaked them out sufficiently and now I find myself trying to teach them it’s ok to splurge every once in a while if you’ve budgeted and have the money to get yourself something nice!
Thanks @loveorangecats. We did a self guided tour in February. I’ve decided UCSC is like that great looking guy that you want to date but he’s just dating too many other people. 
. We’ll see.
My sister got herself into terrible credit card debt because she didn’t want to admit to my dad how much she was spending!!! It can happen.
My two kids are much like your S19. D21 has all these cash tips she has never touched. D18 gave me all her Amazon gift cards and visa gift cards when she graduated for her dorm stuff. I didn’t spend much at all. D21 will do the same. They don’t want for much and hate shopping.
If your kid is a spender, maybe their own CC is not a good idea.
UCSC is having Q & A sessions. They are all scheduled for 10 am when my son is in class unfortunately. There was one yesterday afternoon but we had a conflict. If anyone goes, please share. Housing is overcrowded but I’d mainly be concerned about course enrollment.
My S21 is like your S19 where he doesn’t like to spend money shopping, but he does like to hangout with friends. He has one friend that is wealthy and constantly invites him out to places that cost money, I can see a kid getting into trouble quickly by just wanting to hang out. My old neighbor was at UT, lots of places to spend lots of money in Austin.
Other than babysitting my D20 hasn’t had a job. She couldn’t get any of the credit cards for students, including a couple student ones. Her friends are ordering Uber Eats for dinner so there’s temptation to spend. I’ll look into am check into an authorized user card on my Fidelity Visa.
I used to think I was good with $$ until I read some of the stories on this string.
Has anyone tried one of the apps for tracking budget and spending? I think that is something else that will be a good tool for my D next year. Instant access to an app vs updating a spreadsheet later. There’s an app for that!
We write down everything we spend and keep track of categories on quicken.
Hmm… I use Quicken. I should see if there’s an app for that!
But seriously, are your kids using Quicken to track spending? I’m looking for a tool my D can use on her own to start developing responsible financial habits. She is pretty frugal with her money but has never had to keep track of a strict budget. We plan to give her a small allowance next year, but it will small since all of her essentials will be paid for. She will need to use her savings for extras.
That may be what you’re saying though. Do your kids have their own Quicken accounts? Thanks!
Just a heads up- super important to check your children’s credit reports regularly. My oldest had a bad score because of identity theft we were unaware of until he applied for an apartment. It is VERY common - children’s credit info is a hot commodity. The thieves know they have free and clear access for a number of years. His was taken from healthcare breach.