Moved into Bates yesterday to a vintage dorm on the fourth floor with no elevator! The student helpers carried everything up the stairs even dorm fridges in 90 degree heat.
Really nice campus - bigger and better than expected given we had not been there before. Huge room (16x16?) with very high ceilings and two sizable walk in closets - one for each kid. Went and bought two fans since no air conditioning.
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I guess thatâs one way of putting it. 
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My son has been at school for a week now due to training for his job. The rest of the freshman moved in yesterday. He seems to be doing really well except for the heat. Itâs about 89-90 degrees in his room and he is constantly dehydrated no matter how much he drinks. Itâs miserable. Anyone who says âthey get used to itâ is lying. lol. He canât get used to it.
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Well one week at college, I got the text yesterday. âMom, everyone seems to have a friend or a boyfriend. Iâm doing all the things to meet people, so I donât understand how everyone found friends so fast.â
Up until that text it seemed my daughter was doing well. Turns on one of her two roommates is definitely not her cup of tea (and really annoys her) but she feels guilty making plans just with the other one. She didnât want to problem solve last night but instead wanted to complain. I gave her a safe place to let it all out. Itâs only been a week so I know itâs too soon to have found her tribe, but man when itâs your kid who is in a downer it sucks.
I need to get better of not riding her emotional roller coaster with her. Hereâs hoping the weekend helps her shake the funk a little bit.
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Completely agree. Have lived in FL my entire life. When I would read about some dorms at some
Colleges not having AC, I would immediately never consider it again for my S. Honestly.
I grew up in a house where AC was to be used ONLY if absolutely necessary and it was wall units. The expense and the lack of insulation in our southern home made AC a rare luxury. Ceiling fans helped but itâs just not the same restful sleep if you are hot all night.
From NorCal. Heat/humidity were something yesterday! My son went through 3 shirts just setting up the room. Not used to that weather. Bought a bunch of Gatorade for that dorm fridge!
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âI need to get better of not riding her emotional roller coaster with her.â - You put this so well. I agree!
No wonder they say that oneâs happiness level is proportional to the happiness of their least happy child. Yes, it really sucks when your kid is not happy but Iâm sure she felt better after talking to you. She knows she will always have that. It must be tough having to put on a brave face everywhere when earlier they could go to their room alone and cry it out/take time to recover.
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Exactly! She just wanted to curl up in her bed and ride it out, but her âannoyingâ roommateâs desk is literally a few inches from her head when sheâs in bed so she was feeling extra stuck.
Hmmm. I ran 6.2 (10K) miles. 
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Sorry, was responding to Bates move-in post. 90+ & 50%+ humidity in Lewiston. Hope you werenât running in that weather!
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LOL
90 degrees with 50% humidity is a dream day in NC in July/August. Sometimes we go weeks over 80% and even 90%+. When I was younger and exercised regularly, I ran and played ball/tennis outside in 95 degree 95% humidity weather all the time. The body adapts. Though Iâm in my 50s, I still mow my 1/2 acre lawn with a push mower regardless of the heat - I actually prefer to cut it in the heat because the sun and heat feel good on my skin.
The other day was one of those âactual 95 degrees, w/humidity feels like 104 degreesâ days. Thatâs okay for a day or two, but even I get enough of it after four or five days. I love it when the humidity is 70%, so 95 degree days feel like 92 degree days.
But, the humidity helps ensure we donât get yearly raging forest fires here, so I guess thereâs a tradeoff for everything.
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You may have already done this, but encourage her to prop her door open. Send her a doorstop if necessary. It instantly indicates to others that she is open to meeting new people, and youâd be surprised how quickly people will pop in and say hi.
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Yes, sheâs been doing this since day one and purposely put her desk right by the door to make it easier to say hi to people. She says her hall is very quiet, not many wandering the halls. I suggested wandering the other floors/halls of her building looking for open doors. Sheâs frustrated because sheâs âdoing all the thingsâ without results yet. I know time is the answer here.
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Awww poor thing. Yes, it might take some time. Mine is OOS and knew nobody initially, so there was definitely that feeling of others already knowing each other.
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My bad. I thought you were talking about NorCal.
My son doesnât have AC and it was hot as hell in his room. He has 3 fans and spends minimal time in there now, soon it will be super cold so isnât complaining about the heat.
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My son is finding it easier to make friends outside of the dorm. He has made some friends in his classes and by joining a running group. Hope things improve for her soon.
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Last year, as a freshman, my son was sitting outside a building during the first week or two, alone and not really doing anything. He liked one of his two roommates well enough, but the other was okay but not hang-out material, and at that point those were the only two people he felt he âknewâ on campus. While he was sitting outside the building that day, a boy walked up and basically said, âhi, Iâm ______. What are you doing? Can I sit here?â And they became best friends - now second year roommates.
My son was a lot like your daughter in that he might have sat and positioned himself in the ârightâ place, and waited forever for someone else to make first contact. Fortunately for my son, someone else did make first contact. In your daughterâs case, she may have to be the one to seek out the girl sitting alone somewhere, and go up and say âHi, my name is _____.â
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Sounds like @econpop and @sushiritto might have been helpful carrying the dorm fridges up to the 4th floor at Bates!
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Yeah, Iâm hoping she might make connections in some of her classes. Last night was just an all out pity party for herself. She said a lot of kids in her classes seem to have formed friendships already and then head off to eat together. She might have to get more out of her comfort zone and work a little harder to make possible connections. Totally agree about clubs!