@1822mom I definitely know that feeling of too good to be true! Glad it’s going well.
D at Elon is loving it. There have been a few bumps, but she’s handling them. She will most likely go back for Jterm (extra class in January) because it’s included in spring tuition and most of her friends will be there.
Our house is so quiet!
D22 is loving her classes and the “idea” of living in the dorm, but the reality is that she comes home every weekend because the dorm completely clears out. Now she’s getting used to that idea and says she likes the separation of school and home (nooooo… she needs to leave this town and move on!)
This week is homecoming and there are some activities planned so she has convinced some friends to stay. Unfortunately, we found out BFF from home is going to go up and spend the weekend as well (we were hoping that relationship would end).
I’m thinking sophomore year will be better if she can find a group that sticks around on weekends and she becomes more settled.
Ouch @vwlizard I can see how her coming home every weekend would be problematic. Hopefully when she stays for this homecoming weekend she has some fun and sees that it can be a good thing and leads to gradually more weekends there over time. Ideally the school would have activities and things happening on weekends to incentive students to stick around. As to the BFF, that too may just take time, or it may be something you just have to grin and bear. It’s a waiting game for us parents unfortunately! But she is enjoying it so that’s a good thing and important to remember! 
It’s just the reality of picking a “suitcase school” and something for parents and kids to be aware of when making their decisions. She attends a small, state school in a run-down town but their education program is great and she didn’t want to look anywhere else. I’ve encouraged her to look into greek life as they will have more weekend activities planned but she is not really interested right now. She has made some great friends, they just all head separate ways on the weekend. The funny thing is, two of her “college friends” live in the next town. They don’t really get together when they are home though as the other girls come home to work. Another reality of small state schools where many of the kids are paying their own tuition.
Actually J term is included in the fall tuition at Elon (my D is a junior there) and I thought it was spring tuition as well her freshman year.
My S22 is at Univ of Denver and is loving it. I feel like it’s a great school that is barely ever mentioned on CC. Great size (6000 kids) and has an urban feel but is so close to so much to do outdoors. He’s about 2000 miles from home but so happy. He’s actually made a lot of friends from our state as well as friends from all over the country (freshman class has kids from 47 states). Joined a fraternity, going to lots of hockey games, and really liking his classes (this from a kid who never liked school all that much). I really miss him but he’s been great about texting and calling and often just sends me random pics of his friends or the mountains. Denver was a total last minute decision and it’s been a perfect fit.
Anyone else already noticing changes in their kid? I feel like he has maturity when I talk to him that wasn’t there 2 months ago.
My niece is in the same boat at a regional state school about 20 minutes from home. Comes home most weekends to see her BF. She lives with 3 girls from her hometown and they all come home. Think she has stayed at school about 2 weekends since school started. It’s tough.
My oldest (class of 2019) opted for a gap year, then a COVID year, and then started working. Then got an apartment 15 minutes away. Then started going to community college while still working. It’s actually been really great for us. This kid has a lot of anxiety and the gradual transition has worked out so well. We just let them lead on it all. They come over a few nights a week and have dinner with us and watch TV and vent about work. It’s been really great.
My 2022 kid, on the other hand, I’m lucky if I get a text once a week and then it’s pretty brief. I think she’s happy, but I sure would love to hear more about what’s going on in her life. She seems to view any questions as mom and dad prying into her business, though, and is pretty tight-lipped unless she needs money. We did have a nice vacation week before last over her Fall Break, but that’s the only time she’s been home (just for 2 nights before we left for vacation) and I don’t expect to see her again until Thanksgiving.
Well, J term is paid for one way or another so she’s going!
University of Denver looks fantastic! It was definitely an option for D. I loved a lot of things about it after attending several virtual programs. It feels similar to Elon in many ways.
My kid ended up as an in state student at UC Davis, 500 miles away from home. There are students from all over California, as well as some out of state and international students. Even so, my kid has complained that kids from the Bay Area go home for the weekend quite often. I suppose if a high percentage of students come from places one or two hours away, then it is very easy for them to go home whenever they want. That, of course is detrimental to campus life for the kids that cannot do so easily. For my kid to fly home on short notice we are talking about at least $300.
ETA Overall, she is doing ok. She has good days and bad days. What she misses the most is her dog. She registered with the disability office and got priority enrollment which is a huge benefit in a large school like hers. It has been a big adjustment but, considering her challenges, she is doing pretty well.
I looked at Cornell College because of its one course at a time schedule. It’s great to hear that it is working so well for your kid.
So how is everybody doing?
D22 surprised us by wanting to transfer! We thought she loved her school, but it turned out not to be the best fit. I think she doesn’t really like the dorms (older, small), but she said all the right things about wanting to move for a better academic fit. Said the classes weren’t challenging enough and she wants a school that will offer her more career support, etc. She has already done all the legwork on getting a transfer and been accepted for the spring semester. It was her #2 school and she has a friend there.
She has friends and likes her roommate where she currently is, but said she just couldn’t see herself there for the remainder of her 4 years. Her new school will be about the same distance away, just a different direction, and she has been there many times and did a camp there the summer before her senior year of high school and stayed in the dorms and ate at the cafeteria so she knows it as well as you can w/o being enrolled. Hopeful it will be the right fit for her.
She will be home in a week and a half, but I guess I am going up to move her out, too. It took two cars to move her in.
Where is she leaving and where going ?
How long was she there ? One semester or three ?
Not going to say where she’s leaving and where she’s going to protect her privacy.
Since this is the HS Class of 2022-3.0-3.4 she was there one semester.
I am optimistic she will like the new school. She is very familiar with it and it does have a very good program for her major. She didn’t want to go there when she was choosing a college initially because she felt that she needed to “strike out on her own” and didn’t want to go to a school where she knew people, but now she says that was a dumb idea.
She says she wants more challenging classes and better career support so that is all stuff as parents we want to hear. We really liked her old (current) school, so it’s taken us a little bit of time to wrap our heads around this, but I do feel like the program is probably a little stronger at the new school so I feel good about that.
Feels a little like she’s breaking up with a romantic partner we liked and wants to be with someone new, but sometimes that happens and works out for the best. You don’t want people to be married to someone that’s not right for them and I guess it’s the same with colleges.
I’m going through and un-liking all the social media for the old school and liking all the social media for the new school now.
It’s great that she worked it all out! That’s a huge deal, although I can understand being a bit sad about the “break up.” Best of luck to her (and to you with the move out. I’m already shopping for a storage unit for spring.)
@Sweetgum It sounds like your daughter has been really thoughtful and proactive in this process. Watching our children truly become adults is a privilege.
I like your analogy of it feeling like a breakup…and like a breakup, both people can be absolutely lovely and not right together. No one needs to be ‘to blame’ and figuring out what does and doesn’t work for you and fixing the situation is one of the biggest parts of being an adult. 
I hope she finds the new school to be a better fit, and that moving her out isn’t too stressful and time consuming.
Thanks for the kind words. I really am optimistic it will be better. And on the plus side the drive to the new school is nicer! It is great that she got all her ducks in a row about this. Now if she could just pay for it too 
!
We also get her an extra month at home for all of January at which point I will probably be ready for her to go. The new school has a January short term that she will miss, but she will pick up classes in the spring semester starting in Feb. She has an extra class credit from the AP English exam that should make up for missing that Jan short term (they just do one class then) so she shouldn’t have to take any extra classes to graduate on time.
Changed my icon because the old one went with the old school (a little drawing on the name tags they gave us for a tour). Background of the new icon I made is from a tour of the new school.
Despite the shock to you, it sounds like a really good thing overall. She came to the decision on her own, did all the work on her own to make it happen, and just told you what was happening after her decision was made and everything was done! Way to adult @Sweetgum D!! Since our Ds had very similar search criteria early on, I think I can guess where she might be headed and I think you are correct about the strength of her program there. A lot to be happy about, but there’s always mixed emotions with big changes!
In our world, D22 is still happy with her choice, and is starting to figure out the proper way to dress for the winter weather in Iowa. 
I knitted her a big scarf and she’s figured out how to use it so it doesn’t blow away (I seriously laughed when she told me she was having trouble with it blowing away, it’s a big scarf! lol) She has no regrets about heading north!
Hope everyone else is doing well! 
Yeah, she set up all the interviews with the new school and everything. She did give us a heads up, but did all the work herself. Has already spoken to her advisor at her old school, too, about transferring.
I am a little sad because I thought the old school was pretty cool, but I’m getting with the program and on board with the new school. She has a really good friend from home that goes there (completely different major) so they may travel back and forth together. Her mom and I are good friends too.
Her program is really strong there and think the study abroad is stronger, too, which is something she expressed interest in before.
She is dead set absolutely sure that this is the right thing for her. Of course she was sure the old school was right, too, so that does give me a little pause, but I do think she will like it better. I’m sure she will find things to complain about (the food, the dorms, etc), but hopefully overall it will be a better fit and provide her some more opportunities.
Oh I get it, we parents get attached to these schools too! I experienced something similar, with one or two of D’s schools that I really liked that she didn’t choose… the one(s) that got away! Alas they can only attend one. They are both cool schools though and I’m confident you’ll make the pivot.
This would make a good topic: The One(s) That Got Away. It should be ones that were seriously considered but didn’t end up getting chosen (not ones that ended up as rejections/denials) and why we still love them…