I don’t know if he’s done that yet but he’s been telling everyone at school he’s going to Princeton.
Not looking to argue with you @lkg4answers. I’m just differentiating between scenarios where a decision has been made vs not. And as I said I do agree with your points regarding the latter scenario.
Yes, good advice.
But again, I am not talking about declining acceptances - I’m talking about chasing deferrals at colleges you have no intention of enrolling at. In the specific case I cited, even sending in LOCIs.
Anyway, enough said on this topic. I’m ok moving on 
To add the final note to this discussion, I spoke about withdrawing from UMich and GT to my DD. She went looking at me like, “Are you crazy???”. Her words were, I put in so much effort in my ECs, academics and applications. It’s too premature to backoff before seeing the fruit. Can’t deny that.
I have mixed feelings about this but can understand your DD’s perspective.
I’ll bet that colleges have modeled and incorporated those accepted applicants that want to hang on to their offers until “late in the game.” It’s not a new phenomenon.
I think unless it is ED and kids have locked into a school and paid the registration deposit, I think they have the right to change their mind. They’re kids and they should be given the space to decide AND change their mind.
That would be my kid too ! And I do get where they are coming from
Agree if they are comparable schools that you might possibly attend. But if you get into several reach schools, there is no point chasing a deferral at a safety school.
That makes sense. But in my D’s case I won’t call UMich or GT as safeties any day. With unpredictible admissions, these fall into Target or Reach category.
I think you two are entirely agreed on that. I gather that @DadOfJerseyGirl is talking about a very different situation, though. This kid is going to Princeton, but wants to say he got into these other schools instead of having to say he was deferred. A letter of continued interest when you have no continued interest is simply dirty pool.
I’m sure many kids who don’t withdraw simply aren’t thinking about it, or forget. I had to remind my S22 to decline his Fordham EA admittance when he got his NYU ED acceptance.
@advitha, to your earlier question about making the transition easier for first-time college parents, one thing that’s helped us stay connected to our D19 is weekly FaceTime family check-ins. We each talk about our week and generally catch up. It’s easy to go for weeks without hearing from a college student otherwise, so it’s good to make it a weekly habit. (I’m lucky that I travel to New York on business, so I get to see D19 then – I’m having dinner with her tonight, in fact. And we’re moving to New York right after S22 graduates, so we’ll all be in the same city at least for a while.)
Exactly! That’s the core of what I was trying to say, but my statement got conflated with many other (very valid) scenarios that justify holding on to an acceptance or following up on a deferral - and I certainly wasn’t lumping all these situations together.
Great tip. Thank you!
We’ll keep that in mind.
Thanks for that advise. Mine is a chatter kind when it comes to family and socially an extrovert (bonds with friends very easily). We have a toddler (4 year old), so I presume there’s going to be a lot of video conferencing between sisters. I’m definitely going to be the one missing her, as I’m more of a friend to her rather than a mom. Will probably land into CC more often to fill the vaccuum.
Wow, I wonder what college admission will be like when it’s D2’s turn. You’ll be a total pro by then!
Sorry, got mixed up over who was making which point – edited my post to properly credit you. 
I used to interview for Penn. I’m not sure that I ever had anyone I interviewed accepted.
RE: Admitted student days. Seems like we’ll have pretty short notice whether to attend these or not since we won’t find out acceptances until a week or two before. How important do you think it is to go on admitted students days versus just showing up on a random day to tour as an admitted student?
I’m having a hard time deciding about booking plane tickets because some admitted student days are at the beginning and the end of our spring break when S22 has a good internship opportunity that would be good for him to attend for 2 full weeks rather than cut short on both ends for those special visit days.
I think that details on activities at admitted student days varies by school, so I would definitely research what to expect. For our S16, admit weekend at Stanford was a memorable experience with many activities to choose from. I’d guess he got about 2 hrs sleep each night.
Last year I did 32 interviews for them ( it’s much easier to do virtual ). 3/32 admissions. One I predicted was an amazing unique student(who turned the school down and went to a HBCU). The other 2 I rated as average/nothing special or different about them but they were from less represented regions of the US and minority represented groups. Not sure if they went. Several I thought were great/unique etc who were WL or rejected.
It’s unlikely the interview has any weight in the process unless you are borderline and something glaring negative comes out in the interview ( even them who knows). Interviewers can give students insight into the school but probably have little weight in the admission process.
I agree with @Rivet2000. Much more is offered on admitted students day than on a random day.
Thank you for this wonderful nuanced response. My son was excited to get into Brown ED for next year and we were so excited for him (have to say we were not prepared for how stressed out this whole crazy college application process would make him, so was a particular blessing for our family for him to be done in December)! In that excitement, I joined the Brown parents facebook group (even though I rarely use social media) just to get a sense of the community he would be joining. I immediately regretted it as I was sad to see the impatience and anger demonstrated by many parents (even to each other) about various school matters/policies. It really did dampen my excitement for my son, but your explanation makes me feel so much better. It did seem like many of the unhappy parents had 2019 or 2020 HS seniors and so their frustration is more understandable as their kids college experiences really were the most impacted by the pandemic 
. We feel fortunate that our son is getting to have a pretty normal senior year and hopefully will have a great freshman year in college.