Parents of the HS Class of 2023 (Part 2)

This all goes back to …college costs more than they tell you. And you’re only on day one….

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Long white dress found and purchased! Actually it is a ‘midi’ dress but when you are 5’ nothing - a midi dress becomes a maxi dress. :joy:

Thankfully school forbids any decor on caps*; they are clear that they will confiscate any decorated caps and give you a plain one at the entrance of the graduation site.

We didn’t any last minute kerfuffles with D20 - Covid meant there were no activities or dress snafus. It has actually been lovely to see the celebrations D23 and her friends/fellow graduates have had this past week: school picnic and ‘carnival**’, last assembly celebrating academics and athletics, senior sunrise and sunset get togethers…just so sweet to see all of them really embracing the end of their high school experience and moving onwards (to first jobs, the military, college).

*Thankful only in the sense of I knew that couldn’t become a last minute project. I should have known when that was taken out of the picture, a different last minute project (the DRESS) would take its place.

**Sets of bouncy houses on campus. The pictures were hilarious and reminded us these graduates are still little kids.

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I had no doubt you would find a white dress they are everywhere right now! My daughter’s school has so many events around graduation. I was informed yesterday that the dress she was going to wear to the senior and guests dinner dance, she is now wearing to convocation because it is short and everyone wears short dresses to that and long dresses to the party. So we ordered a long dress for me to pick up at the mall near my office and bring next weekend for the Saturday night party. She has her white dress for the graduation and her dress for the Friday night parent dinner dance. And the class necklace that all the girls get. Of course I had to buy outfits for all of these events, and sport coats and ties and shoes/khakis/shirts for husband and son because we never dress up. Not to mention the 3 days of VRBO, and needing to drive 2 cars 9 hours to be able to fit her and her dorm room when we head home. This Boarding School graduation is costing thousands! We are an FA boarding school family and certainly did not think of all of these expenses when she got her amazing financial aid package.

Ugh, D23 has been a ball of stress the last two weeks. Finals and IB exams, placement tests and course registration for college in the midst of studying, trying to shop to no avail for a white graduation dress as well as outfits for baccalaureate mass and IB dinner…and prepare for prom!

Unfortunately her prom coincided with my son’s college graduation five hours away, so no possibility for me to be there for her today. She was all stressed out about what to do with her hair, among other things (logistics for pictures with her date and friends, long story and a mess). I’m sitting in the rain today with little cell service at son’s graduation when she calls frantic b/c the store does not have the boutonniere I ordered for her date. Apparently, I ordered from the wrong store 15 mins away and she is at the one by our house. She’s all upset, doesn’t have time for this, blah blah blah, so I call my awesome neighbor and he says he will go get it for her. Meantime, she’s already on her way to the other store, pissed as hell at me, and refuses to turn around and go home and let my neighbor get it b/c, well, you know, she just wants to continue sulking and making me feel like crap that I messed up.

Meanwhile that is sorted, my son graduates, it starts raining hard so everyone scatters so no grad photos with his friends, etc. Finally get back to hotel to relax before dinner, text D23 to check in, and I get a flurry of texts that her hair looks awful, she can’t fix it, her makeup is a mess, she’s late to meet friends for photos. She doesn’t want to show up and see all these girls looking beautiful b/c she feels ugly. I wait an hour to let her settle down, call her and nothing is any better. She is nearly in tears.

And I am five hours away feeling like GARBAGE that I can’t help. My teenage neighbor goes over just before D23 leaves and tries to make her feel better. Neighbor texts me to say she looks great but is mired in stress and rushes off to hopefully meet her friends b/f the pre-prom photo session ends. I thank her for trying to help.

I have not heard from D23 since she hung up on on me after screaming her eyelashes were stuck together. I didn’t want to call her while she was driving, didn’t want to text her once she arrived at the photo session since I knew she was late and stressed. Went to dinner with S19 to celebrate his graduation and now just keeping fingers crossed that D23 has snapped out of her terrible mood and is actually able to have fun tonight (she tends to sulk, so not sure…).

Back at hotel, she’s at the prom now, I text her to say I love her and hope she is feeling better now. No response. I hope that’s a good sign.

Sigh. Girls.

Did I mention it’s also my birthday today?

Thank God I don’t care about my birthday/being celebrated b/c this has been one heck of a day!

And it’s not over b/c next week is three days straight of high school graduation activities! I can’t wait for June.

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Happy Birthday! Teenagers can be challenging! Brains aren’t fully cooked yet! Hope you get to celebrate your birthday and get a special gift or do something nice for yourself!

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Happy birthday! I hope your son’s celebration is fun.

Prom last year - D23 asked me to curl her hair and I did it wrong and everything went downhill from there. She had been so easy and low-key about the dress and then all of sudden it was like a scene in the Exorcist movie. When we finally got the hair to an acceptable place I poured a glass of white wine and went and HID on the side of our house for a while. It is really not fun, and I try to keep telling myself that it is stress and hormones and immaturity coming at me.

But I’m sorry it came at you on your birthday. Glad that you are with S19 and enjoying graduation. And I hope when you get home, all of the prom drama will be over and forgotten.

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Happy birthday!!! I’m so sorry teenagers are a holes. We’ve all been there!

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Ha, I was thinking about it last night and figured I was probably better off not at home with her while she was dealing with all this b/c all her stress would have been directed at me. I just felt bad that I wasn’t home to help with her hair (I offered to have her go to a salon to have it done but she did a practice run a few nights earlier and was happy with how she styled it).

Anyway, I know that as her mom, I am her “safe place” for venting her stress, but that doesn’t make it easy when you see/hear your kid upset and want to help but there is nothing you can do but listen. She is a great kid and we rarely have any sort of arguments, etc so I’m fortunate, but whew, so much stress this year with her IB curriculum/requirements! The last couple weeks have just been a culmination of it all - so tough as finals coincide with all the college stuff as well (placement tests, class registration, housing/roommate choices).

The funny thing is that I remember what I was like when I was her age. When all this was going down yesterday, my mom was reminding me of my own prom - where during a nice dinner with my date and friends prior to prom, a waiter accidentally spilled a tray of glasses of coke on my paid salon up-do and all down the front of my dress. Yep, ruined my hair and a nice stain down the front of my dress before we even made it to prom. It wasn’t funny at the time, but I sure can laugh about it now!

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My DD his senior status her 3rd semester, and major fees kicked in, an additional 2000 a year, but she will graduate early with 2 degrees, so it all balances out.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Personally gave up even thinking about celebrating mine years ago… not because I don’t like to (even though it does get a little more painful each year as the number gets higher) but because there is always some mom responsibility that interferes so why bother adding in more stress on myself (I mean if I don’t plan it it’s not going to be acknowledged anyway so…)

I keep thinking that one day when all this dust settles and they are in my shoes, they will appreciate all that I did (or tried to do) for them.

Yeah, it’s absolutely relative. The only way it would be widely agreed upon as small would be something like a few dollars. I recalled it was less than 250, but as @tsbna44 says, I know many parts of this experience are going to cost more than I thought. We haven’t paid our first bill yet. :grimacing:

Yep, this! With a May birthday, I have rarely even been home for my birthday - for years, I was on a sports field somewhere, or some school event, etc. Two years ago I spent it flying across the country for my oldest daughter’s college graduation. Fortunately, I have never been one to feel the need to be center of attention. If I get it to spend it with some or all of my family, that’s all I care about, just being together. No gifts, cake, whatever necessary! I couldn’t even remember what age I was turning this year. I had to do some mental math (55 y/o).

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My birthday is this week too, same week as graduation… We’ll see if we celebrate it.

My birthday is the day after D23’s! Sometimes it is great - like when we do a birthday trip. She’s an only child so generally, we have gone all out for her birthday and are tired the next day for mine. Usually I take a raincheck for a celebration and we go out to to dinner another random night when I don’t feel like cooking. One year though - my husband had to go on a business trip so he told her to plan a special day for me. She was about 10. First we did a craft, which was writing inspirational messages on hearts and taping them to a ribbon. (I still have.) Then she planned ten minutes to tell me how much I meant to her. Then she gave me a mystery address to drive us to - and she had DH’s CC to take me for sushi. But the sushi restaurant was closed and she was so crestfallen. We found another place and it was fine! But that was my best birthday ever. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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Our 10 year old dog appears to have cancer and is rapidily declining. My moms sister and last remaining family member died this morning.

Trying to coordinate putting a very much loved pup down around graduation wasnt in my plans.

Last school day is june 9th. Graduation is june 11th.

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@dfbdfb - checking in to see how your crazy spring is going! didnt you have graduations all over the country?

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Our 10-12 yo Cat was diagnosed with cancer a couple of weeks ago and what was at first a hopeful prognosis has quickly nose-dived and doesn’t look good suddenly. It will definitely dampen the mood at graduation.

My condolences regarding your Aunt.

So sorry for you and your family. Hang in there❤️

So sorry for you all as well❤️

I’m so sorry…hang in there :mending_heart: