<p>SUNYJMM, are you enrolled in a college right now? If so, go to the counseling office and ask for an appointment. There is no shame talking out your unhappiness with a professional, and it can really, really help, much more than typing on an anonymous site like College Confidential.</p>
<p>Yes, you’ll have to use the cards you are dealt, but you can probably do so much more effectively and productively if you work through your feelings.</p>
<p>Since you asked:</p>
<p>In an ideal world, as a parent I would like to treat each child equally. However not every child has the same needs. In the end, most of us try to be fair.</p>
<p>In your case, you admitted that Albany has the better program and good opportunities. So is it possible that your parents decided that this is the best way to support you? Granted you don’t get the sleep away experience but you also do not get the sleep away debt. There are parents who cut the kids off at 18. Yours are providing food, shelter and from the sounds of things a decent place to study. They are supporting you. They were free to keep the money they saved for your college. They didn’t. </p>
<p>As for you brother. Try to let it go. Don’t let this poison your relationship. He choose a different path. Your parents are supporting his path as they see fit. It might have been that buying the house had multiple goals. One was to support your bother. It might also be an investment to fix up and in the future rent out the apartment for income. Maybe they plan on charging your brother rent in the future.</p>
<p>As for supporting your parents in their old age. Well that is YOUR decision when the time comes since it is your money.</p>
<p>Bottom line, there could many things going on that you haven’t consider from your parent’s viewpoint. </p>
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<p>That’s not catastrophic. That’s what I would do. I would invest in myself and do what it took to do as well as I could so that I can be the most successful so that the loans would not be a burden. </p>
<p>All this other about your family etc, is irrelevant. You can only control your own behavior. I think you will grow living on your own away from your family. I don’t think that cost over a lifetime of good earnings is too much. </p>
<p>I’m on summer vacation currently but I’m starting school again in the fall. I honestly have thought about talking to someone because I feel like things have gotten a little stressful for me and do not want to ruin my focus in the following semester.</p>
<p>My parents and I have talked this over. They feel that SUNY Albany is just the best option and that it’s a bad idea to spend thousands more to earn an equivalent, if not better degree.</p>
<p>See, my whole thing is just experiencing what it’s like to go away to college; what many people get to enjoy. My friends tell me how they want to get right back to school every time there is a break. I wanted to be able to fondly reflect back on these years when I was older, but felt if I commuted, I wouldn’t be happy. </p>
<p>I completely understand how ridiculous this sounds. The fact that I would have spent so much more to be happy, or at least hope to find happiness living away. I guess I thought my parents should want this for me too, and I’m sure they do. They keep telling me I can be happy after college. But this is the one chance I’ll ever have in life at this opportunity…</p>
<p>I guess this conversation has surfaced this question: Is going away to college, all experiences from going away considered, worth me spending thousands of dollars more?</p>
<p>I can see what many of you think, and I do not disagree. I’m just praying this will turn out okay.</p>
<p>I think your number one priority is getting your degree and graduating w/o any debt if possible. In this day and age when a decent job is hard to come by, why set yourself up with a lot of debt after graduduation. Just my 2¢</p>
<p>SUNYJMM -</p>
<p>You write that this is the first time you’ve lived with your parents since you graduated high school. If you look back, and think about your reasons for moving out and for living on your own (or with your housemates) for the past three years, maybe you will remember why that was so important for you to do. Had you lived at home while at the community college, whatever it was you spent on food/rent/utilities could have been saved toward your eventual living expenses for the last two years of your education. You also should consider how much of the stressing over “he’s got his own apartment now, but I don’t” is due to the fact that you have indeed given up your own independent residence, and that you now have to share space with three other people you thought you’d never live with again.</p>
<p>You can’t take on more than the federal student loans on your own. More debt than that would require that you find a co-signer, or that your parents take out PLUS loans. This means that if you aren’t willing to live with them and commute, you will have to go back to working full-time (or nearly full-time) in order to afford your own place, and will probably only be able to attend college part-time. Since you’ve already done that, you know what the experience is like, and you can judge for yourself whether or not that is the way you want to go.</p>
<p>From the outside, it looks to me like you are concerned that you will miss out on something in life if you never have the college dorm experience. Here is one suggestion: when you do go to grad school, consider attending full time and living on campus. Back in the Stone Age when I went to grad school, I lived in grad housing. Trust me, you can replicate most of the undergrad residential experience (including wild parties, drunken co-residents, surprises in the common bathrooms, etc.) in grad school housing. About the only difference is that people are older (so the drinking is all legal), and the RA is likely to be a cranky third year law student, rather than a college sophomore or junior. </p>
<p>Life is a series of trade offs. Commuting now means less student debt later. Yes it does mean missing out on part of the college experience. However, it also means that after you have more options. It could mean being able to get your own place to live, taking a job across the country, traveling, going to grad school or taking a lower paying job that you love. Having debt could mean having to live at home (and being limit to jobs near your parents) and/or having little extra money for the fun things in life. So do you want the fun now and pay for it over ten years or more or forgo some of the college experience and have a better life in the following ten years?</p>
<p>Is it worth it? That depends on the person. How much will living on campus enrich your life? Many students move of campus after Freshman year. At my daughter’s school 60% move off campus by Junior year.</p>
<p>SUNYJMM,</p>
<p>I’m a 2013 grad with an accounting degree, CPA exam passer, soon to be CPA as soon as I meet the experience requirement, and also a parent (of tweenagers).</p>
<p>I attended my local commuter school’s accounting program. It’s the cheapest 4yr public in our state, and many of my classmates were financially savvy and chose it on purpose due to its inexpensive cost. A big chunk of them were traditional, young students like yourself. I have several classmates who are now working for the Big 4 and large regional firms. I myself am happily working in industry/corporate accounting. My point is, you can absolutely be successful no matter where you go. </p>
<p>You mentioned that you intend to attend graduate school to meet CPA exam requirements. I strongly urge you to research your state’s regulations concerning eligibility to sit for the exam. In many states, the requirement is to complete 5 years. In my state, they could care less if you have an accounting undergrad plus a year of basket weaving classes. Additionally, I was a transfer student like you. And also like you, it was going to take me 2.5 years on top of my 2 yr transfer degree in order to complete requirements to finish my accounting undergrad. Essentially, all I had to do was take a couple of extra classes and voila! I had my 5 years of credits to be eligible to sit for the CPA exam. It was a much cheaper/faster option than attending and completing grad school. Some of my classmates double majored in undergrad (acct/finance, acct/MIS, etc) in order to meet the CPA requirements. </p>
<p>Many of the new job seekers in my area have MBA’s and MAcc’s - which is VERY expensive in my opinion. Even without a masters degree, I was able to land an excellent job when I passed the CPA exam. I’m not overstating when I say a CPA exam passer will beat out someone with a masters degree who’s still working on the exam (all else equal). Make sure you understand the CPA requirements and consider all your options to get there. Cost versus benefit analysis, which you need to get very good at anyway!</p>
<p>Accounting isn’t the most difficult program, but it is a HUGE study/time investment to finish a program and pass the CPA exam. I understand you being slightly upset at the amount your parents are contributing to your education. However, choose an inexpensive school you can be happy with, and focus on finishing and passing the CPA exam as soon as possible. That way, you’ve lessened your future stress levels as much as you possibly can. The less you have to worry about, the sooner you can reach your goals and make a great salary of your own.</p>
<p>thanks carebear77, that was very informative!</p>
<p>I thought that if someone were to take the CPA exam, they must first obtain a master’s in accounting degree or an mba with a concentration in accounting to meet the requirements. I know in years past, someone could just have a bachelor’s degree in accounting and that was sufficient enough to sit for the CPA exam. I will definitely look into the requirements for my particular state.</p>
<p>And I have signed up for UAlbany! I am feeling excited and eager about school</p>
<p>What you can get out of your parents for college is between you and them. You can argue until you are blue in the face and everyone can nod and agree and say, “amen” but it doesn’t amount to anything if they won’t pay. They are not required to pay anything, you understand. YOu want us all to agree that they should? That they are treating your brother better than you? Wouldn’t make any difference.</p>
<p>The good news is that SUNY Albany is truly a terrific school for accounting. I now a number of accountants that came from there. And because your brother got your parents to move there, you can live off your parents to some degree and commute to one of the 4 major SUNY universities. And if you get our degree, pass your CPA exams, you won’t need an in law apartment attached to your parents like your brother has. You’ll be all on your own soon enough. </p>
<p>Yes, it’s a wonderful thing to get to go to a sleep away school. It’s wonderful when you get a brand new paid for car with insurance and maintenance covered. A European tour, world wide tour is great A shopping spree in NYC, all expenses paid is terrific. When parents buy a home or condo for, it’s marvelous I agree with all of this whole hearted. but we don’t all have parents who can and are willing to pay for these things. My parents, who loved me dearly offered me, a top student, a local option as it was paid for through by father’s job. That was what was on the table. Anything else I had to come up with the funds for. Frankly, my father was more concerned about money towards my brothers’ educations, not mine. He figured as good of a student as I was, I’d get through some how, become a teacher, get married. </p>
<p>It’s your parents’ money, not yours and counting other people’s money when you aren’t being paid to do so as you will be as an accountant is not usually a useful activity. It’s their right to spend it as they please. </p>
<p>cptofthehouse, I completely agree with you. My parents’ money is all their own, and it is not my right or anybody’s right besides theirs to choose how it is spent. I’ve asked simply for an opinion, and many people have told me that I should focus more about obtaining my degree and should choose the financially wisest route. I’ve already contemplated this option and have chosen it because it’s truly the best way.</p>
<p>I asked whether my parents’ willingness to contribute $5,000 towards my education was fair. It did evolve into a more personally in depth conversation about my life; specifically my family life. But that surfaced a new question: is the experience of going to “sleep away school” worth the cost of what it takes.</p>
<p>I honestly felt that by sacrificing this experience, I would somehow miss a crucial part in the development of my social life, which I’m sure we can all admit, has either a negative or positive impact on a person as a whole. I didn’t want to be some sheltered nobody, which I realize now isn’t the fate of all commuter students.</p>
<p>I know that it will take some extra effort on my behalf to involve myself with UAlbany and to meet people, but it something that is accomplishable. I thought that it would be easier to go to Geneseo and do this because I’d be right on campus and couldn’t just run home whenever I please. But I have prepared myself for the challenge, and I couldn’t be more excited for the school year to start.</p>
<p>In regards to my parents, it is what it is. Maybe they have more confidence in my ability to succeed independently and feel that my brother needs more support. Maybe it’s because they just think it’s down right stupid to sacrifice a better business school to pay more at one that isn’t as highly regarded. I have no idea what their reasoning is, but it’s something I have to respect.</p>
<p>PS: It is my opinion that UAlbany has a better business school that Geneseo. I am not trying to argue it, it’s just my opinion.</p>
<p>Here in CA the CPA requirements specify bachelors degree +150 units completed which is equivalent to 4 yrs of undergrad + 1 year of masters program BUT you don’t need the masters program itself, only the extra units, so you could load up on CC classes to make up the difference.</p>
<p>If NY is the same way, and you only have 41 units, some of which don’t even transfer then I would recommend you stay an extra year or two at CC. Complete all the GE requirements, take the accounting courses you wouldn’t take after transfer, and basically load up on courses that are required for the CPA exam until you have about 90 units. Then after transferring you could sit for the CPA straight out of undergrad and avoid costly grad school. </p>
<p>e,g. here in CA courses like ethics, intro to real estate, foreign language, math, all count toward the CPA exam and my CC offers courses like Federal Income Tax that I wouldn’t even take after transferring into my accounting program. </p>
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<p>Yes…it’s fair.</p>
<p>Sacrificing a year abroad is missing something in your development. Not joining Peace Corp, military, Americop also do the same. No. Sleep away college is not CRUCIAL in the least. Not one bit. Maybe for a student in a horrible, abusive, criminal, dangerous home environment, getting out ANYWHERE is important but absolutely not crucial one bit. It’s a great luxury to have. LUXURY. Like a brand new paid for car. But where you get CRUCIAL, I don’t know. </p>
<p>Just like getting ANY money, any THING from your parents, it’s really up to you and them as to whether you can get them on board for paying for sleep away college for you. Yes, it would be nice. I’d do it if I could, if I were your parent, did it and am planning to do it for all of mine. But if financial security and other things were an issue, nope. </p>
<p>My one son got a full tuition award from a local school. Had he commuted from home, he’d essentially have been able to go there for free. He did not think of it as a very good option at age 18. When he turned 20, he realized a number of his classmates, friends, peers, members of the community took that offer and were doing just fine. Very well, in fact, and enjoying themselves very much. Many from well to do families. They could live a pretty danged good life without the huge college payments over their parents’ and their heads. We and he have to watch our costs carefully, and when some things came up, he had to take out a loan one year, which he found was very difficult to repay (which he did in 18 months rather than the year he originally had planned). He is very much enjoying his college experience, but he now can see in dollars what it’s costing us. LIke $150K over the local option/.</p>
<p>But honestly, my son would have been better off going to ALbany and getting an accounting degree in terms of job opportunities and immediate financial independence and I’m afraid he’s going to have plenty of time to ruminate over that. Right now he isn’t paying the piper for what he is getting. When he starts paying for real, he’ll feel the dffierence. Right now, I"m the one paying the price of his decision of his schools. Yes, my son turned down Albany, and yes, I agree that it has a better business school that Geneseo and the accounting program is outstanding. So it’s not like you are settling for a second rate program at all. I think you have a great opportunity there. Yes, you miss out on living on campus and on your own. But there will be other longer lasting benefits most likely for both you and your family. I can honestly say I wish my son had picked Albany. </p>
<p>Congrats SUNYJMM for the decision to attend Albany but more importantly the turnaround in perspective!!</p>
<p>The above post from cpt illustrates just how fortunate you are to have this opportunity and then capitalized upon it. Like I stated above the “gift” of time and and a debt-free degree from a FANTASTIC program is really and truly a GIFT. Having your folks add in the $5K and providing the free room and board is icing on the cake.</p>
<p>You may end up spending so much time on campus you will see little of your home in Albany. But see it for what it is, a safe harbor to regroup at the end of the day, a place to study without drunk students barfing in the hall and disruptive parties. Granted not all campus dorms are like this BUT the ones my kiddos have lived in did have some aspect to this. Protect your GPA, collect your units for the CPA exam, graduate with honors and land a kick-butt job with great career prospects. </p>
<p>It is just a few semesters away and all your hard work will really pay off. </p>
<p>Again congrats on your decision and the positive attitude with no regrets will serve you well.</p>
<p>Kat</p>
<p>Thanks everyone! I really am happy with my decision of attending UAlbany in the fall. I think that it will be a very enriching experience and it will open the doors to new possibilities in the future! I believe the education I will receive from UA’s business school is going to be great, and I am really grateful to be able to save so much. </p>
<p>My parents wanted what was best for me, which is why they were trying to get me to choose UAlbany. I realize now how beneficial this decision will be for me in the future. Thanks for all the responses!</p>
<p>I think you were just trying to sort this out and I can’t fault you for that. Thing is, no, you do not need to be in residence 24/7 to have a great college experience and social life. Get on the meal plan so you can eat with friends, join activities, participate in them, stay for concerts or games, and be there when friends do things. You can make friends you are close enough to that you can crash on their floor once/week. (Sometimes, they don’t care; sometimes they have a roommate who leaves on weekends who doesn’t mind or you throw in a few dollars toward food at those times or some other reciprocation.)</p>
<p>Just as some choices are financial compromises, you can get as close to “campus life” as possible, without a dorm room. Best wishes.</p>