My son goes to Groton and I have no idea what you’re talking about. Please ask me any questions you have. Kids absolutely are allowed to leave to see their families at any time.
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99% of this thread is serving no real purpose. I am closing for review, after which I will put it on slow mode.
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I don’t know what the goal of this thread is, to be honest.
A new user posted something provocative and inflammatory, and asked pointless questions about the legality of sending a kid to boarding school. The subsequent comments by the OP and others sparked outrage and fruitless debate. I had to hide so many posts that the thread, as it stands, serves little/no purpose.
Having said that, CC prefers that threads stay open if possible.
So let’s keep comments related to the OP’s question about why a parent would send a reluctant child to boarding school. I have edited the original post.
If this thread continues to devolve into a shouting match, it will be closed. I am putting it on slow mode for now.
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My son took a friend to dinner just the other night.
You fill out a deans form. That’s not a hoop to jump through it’s like asking a parent to go out. The school is responsible for the kids.
Yes the schedule is jam packed. As is the schedule for high achieving kids at ANY school in the US. Go hang out on the public school board for a while. Those kids’ schedules will make your head spin with how much they’re trying to do and how much insanity they have in their lives.
Just like high achieving kids at any school - public, private day, boarding school, there’s very little free time. It’s a universal problem for kids right now. Kids at public school are not up and going to the mall or grandmas house either. They’re doing homework and ec’s, just like the BS kids.
I cannot comment on other information you receive because I have no idea where it’s coming from.
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Respectfully, it is. It is almost a 40 minute video. She literally opens the whole thing with a disclaimer that this was her personal experience, and she in no way is saying boarding schools are bad. They are great. Peddie just didn’t work out for her.
She was excited to go to Peddie. She definitely wanted to go. Her brother was a sophomore there and loved it. She had a panic attack the first day during orientation, however. She felt like she couldn’t be her true self there. She didn’t have a good relationship with her roommate, who nonetheless seemed like a nice person. She tried out for a play and didn’t get a part, and as a theater person, that crushed her. Her parents worked hard to find her a spot at a local school, and did, before the end of her first year. She was much happier there.
It sounded like she has a great relationship with her parents. I can believe they were all disappointed it didn’t work out, and that a teen felt awkward in the situation. But that doesn’t mean she was traumatized for life. It was a mistake for her, not her sibs, and the family handled it together. The story has a happy ending.
If this video is an illustration of your point, then your point is that boarding schools aren’t for everybody, but they can be fantastic. And if it isn’t working out, you can always leave and find what you need elsewhere.
I am troubled by something in your posts. You seem to want to prevent your children from having any pain or struggle, and for you to be their sole source of comfort. If that is your approach to parenting, then I can understand why boarding school doesn’t work for your family. I don’t understand, though, why you would work for one. But please understand that people can love their kids just as much as you do, and approach it differently. I don’t want my child to suffer, but I am ok with struggle. I am ok with him having more adults to go to other than me. I am ok with not knowing everything going on in his life, and trusting him to tell me what I need to know. So I don’t see the risks of boarding school the same as you.
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Other than last year’s COVID restrictions for boarders, my kid’s school offers more freedom than I would ever allow the kid at home. “Drop into the mall after school” is not possible when you have afternoon commitments - most private schools, both boarding and day, require students to participate in afternoon activities, usually sports.
Who is letting their young teen go out in the evening?! On a school night - no way.
And yes, they can go visit Grandma. And Grandpa. Overnights, even, if they get parental approval (just a question of my clicking “yes” to the request). My kid has done so quite often.
Just like they go into Boston with their friends. On public transit. Without adult supervision.
And frankly, I don’t know of any reputable boarding school in the Boston area that operates the way you describe.
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And you wonder why people aren’t giving you the responses you want when you tell people your kind of love is better than their kind of love?
None of us have kids who don’t want to be at boarding school. We can only speak to our personal experiences. So we really can’t answer your question, no matter how often you ask. No one would agree that kids should be abused or confined against their will. But that is not our experience. Abuse happens everywhere, and more often in homes than in boarding schools.
Yep, there are “therapeutic” boarding schools (a la Paris Hilton) that rightly have come under fire. Maybe that is what you are talking about? But I don’t think anyone here has experience with those.
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Hi All,
My intention had been to get honest feedback on the topic question. Thank you so much to the people who did provide some very valuable feedback, it was very insightful and helpful for me.
MODERATOR NOTE: This comment was edited for violating TOS.
And so ends this conversation, as the OP has been suspended for violating TOS repeatedly.
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