@socaldad2002 you sound like my boss who regularly asks his reports "how much did that [insert new item of clothing, car, vacation etc.] cost me?
At the end of the day, attending a “prestigious” college is a luxury item. Take a straw poll and there is always going to be a lot of variability in how much a particular person values any luxury item. It is kind of silly to impose our own under or over inflated notions of value on other people. Like most luxury items, attending a prestigious college isn’t mandatory to survival or even success in life. It definitely isn’t mandatory to becoming a well trained and well paid physician, if that is the OP D’s goal.
BTW, OP, you may want to look at unis in Canada (granted, even the top ones there are mostly gigantic underfunded sink-or-swim publics, though they have some good public LACs as well) and the UK (education is very much expected to be student driven and in general, the educational system is quite different; you study only/mostly the subject you signed up for; marks determined almost solely by big tests at the end) but you’d find a few unis/programs that are highly-regarded worldwide that may not cost much more than an in-state public. Look in the UK subforum under “Internationals” if interested. And there are Canadians here knowledgeable about Canadian schools.
I don’t know if anyone has mentioned Tulane. They offer very generous scholarships to top applicants as well as admission to the Honors College. She can apply EA, so no strings attached.
I didn’t read the whole thread – just tossing this out there that UCF has an automatic admit to their medical schools based on getting a certain grade/test score level, so she could go directly from undergrad to med school (or at least have that in her hip pocket as she applied to other medical schools.)
taguaseeds - Tulane is definitely on her very short list of schools that would be her “competitive merit reach schools” - thank you! Thanks to all who commented and I never imagined there would be so many emotion filled responses. We have used this discussion board by having her also read all of the responses and having a realistic talk about what her options are. She is smart and grounded and all is good!
@Mom2aphysicsgeek why is it that every response to what I wrote wants to create an alternate reality. I didn’t say that the parents should take loans, I didn’t say that they have to apply to any specific schools, all I did was make a cogent argument for not short circuiting the process.
Here’s 2 more:
Telling a child don’t even try, has the potential to teach them to give up on their dreams. Way better to encourage them, within the confines of honesty and reality. People learn and progress from trying hard and failing. The worst case scenario is she develops some more grit and resilience. That’s a win. It’s only a lose if you aren’t honest and the applicant feels betrayed. I specifically say not to do that.
Doing it this time with the parents will help train the daughter for upcoming applications to graduate school. Nothing like a little hands on experience to make the next step go more smoothly.
Folk have to stop assuming that things are set, they’re 7 months away from submitting applications. It’s time to make the list, run the NPCs, make that spreadsheet, start on essays, get on the mailing list, and have that preliminary conversation about a realistic EFC for their family.
I can’t speak to their child’s real qualifications to gain entry to any school, that’s a black box. It’s not an incomplete picture, it’s almost blank. That might be the perfect way to start. Have the daughter run a handful of college match routines, weighting different things (like aid, acadmics etc.) You have to agree, that without a real list of potential, safeties, matches and reaches, the idea that a decision can be made is speculating on a speculation. That can’t be a good way to start the process. Best way to start is with all options on the table. You can always trim things back later.
@imptime18 Why do you keep ignoring the reality of the OP’s financial situation? Your advice is plain bad advice given the situation. There is no blank slate. I see so many families being led astray by precisely the advice you’re giving. There is no magic to the process. Telling a child to try for what exactly? A school that is unaffordable?
@FrozenMaineMom Have your daughter apply to a variety and see what happens, but definitely have a discussion about finances.
One thing that hasn’t been mentioned in these threads … Our public university-based hospital is required by law to provide the salaries of its employees. The kid who graduated from medical school at Johns Hopkins, Stanford or Harvard is starting out at the same salary as the kids who graduated from the public flagship medical school. We know a kid who took a corporate law job he absolutely hated - and had to postpone getting married for several years - so he could pay down his Harvard Law School debt (which was far into six figures). Meanwhile, his peers who went to the public state law school were getting married, buying houses, and having children. My SIL has massive medical school debt - more than my mortgage - and, a couple of years after finishing her residency, decided she didn’t want to practice medicine anymore. I have friends who went to Princeton, Yale, Vassar, Stanford and aren’t any better off financially. If you can afford this lifestyle, then great, but a prestigious school isn’t required for success, nor does it necessarily lead to more success. It’s really what you do with your professional career after you get that first job that counts.
I will argue the counter: you would be crazy to push massive amounts of debt on a child to go to a “prestigious” school when that child could get a full ride at a “lesser” but still high-quality school. The children heading off to college today have parents who came of age during the '80s. We were focused on name brands, and, unfortunately, we have transferred this obsession to our children. Sometimes buying that name brand isn’t the best decision. An Ivy League education is a marvelous thing but it is not the only path. We need to understand that our children can not only bloom where planted, but with the right nurturing, they can actually thrive - regardless of where they go to school.
Did you read the original post? The student is very likely National Merit high stats kid. She will not have any issue getting accepted to schools known to give full ride/ full tuition to NMF. This is where she where she should start, these schools are all very different the student should comb though these schools that are true financial and admission safties first and find the ones that best suit her, then she can add some schools where she might qualify for competitive merit. That’s enough, there is no reason to waste time and money on applying to schools that in the end will be unaffordable for the OP.
I disagree with post about not giving up on your dreams. Letting a kid apply to say an Ivy when it is absolutely unaffordable is a bad idea. There can an incredible amount of pressure not just on the student but also on the parent. Say the OPs daughter applies and gets into say Harvard. The pressure to not turn down this opportunity that so few get will be extreme. I have seen this over and over again. Its either ended in extreme disappointment or extreme debt.
@EarlVanDorn, perhaps this will assuage your misgivings about UGA…it’s nice that Bama lets you take the scholarship and apply it to grad school. That is not typical.
Once of my nieces had the full Zell Miller + $3,000 at UGA, and she had 13 AP exams that got her lots of credit. They would not let her apply it to grad school, even though she had enough credits to graduate after five semesters. She wound up getting a BA and a BS with four majors. She’s now in grad school (education) with a tiny stipend and is bartending to pay the rent, and her advisor grouses that her schedule isn’t flexible enough for the demands of the program. She is doing very well, but the advisor thinks she shouldn’t have a job.This is a kid who had no parental help for college at all and had the scores to go anywhere.
UMD also does not let students use merit scholarship $$ for grad degrees. We know several folks who spent most of their four years taking virtually all graduate courses in their majors. With the generous AP/IB placement and ability to test out of more advanced classes in some departments, it’s possible to graduate with multiple majors there as well.
@CountingDown I don’t know about others but both OU and UTD allow you to use their National Merit scholarships toward grad school.
@imptime18 Short-circuiting what process exactly? NPCs for top schools produce fairly accurate results. If there is a significant difference between parental budget and the most generous meets-need schools’ awards, then non-merit, meets-need schools are not going to be feasible. It doesn’t take running every single one. This article provides insight into determining how the different schools generate their formulas. http://www.thecollegesolution.com/schools-that-meet-100-of-financial-need-2/
That leads exactly to where the OP started–looking at schools that offer generous merit. And the answer to the OP’s question is that pursuing merit is not short-changing the student.
Yes, 3scoutsmom, but not all schools allow merit $$ apply to grad school – so it’s a good question to ask during the process, esp if you know your student will come in with significant AP/IB credit. I wasn’t making a blanket assertion.
@CountingDown That’s a Zell issue not a UGA one. My D is at UGA and will be able to use her non-Zell scholarship to get her masters in 4 years. The poster to whom you are responding is not a GA resident, so wouldn’t have the Zell problem.
@FrozenMaineMom Hello my friend to the north. 
I have just gone thru a process similar to you. Although you seem to have a smarter child than I did. Being a Merit Scholar will open many doors and if she is not afraid of traveling far away then you should be able to chase some good money.
What I found (being the master of the obvious) is that colleges will pay for kids above the normal student body but not so much for kids they have a ton of. What this means is that your child will get the most money if they go to a college with lower stat kids. If the average student is 3.0 and your child is 4.0, then the school is willing to offer a merit scholarship. Not so if your child is a 3.0 student.
This means that you might not be able to send your child to a school with a student body matching her stats; so academic reach schools are probably out. They will not be paying what you need if you do not qualify for any FIN AID.
Definitely chase the full scholarships. Low debt is always a good choice if your child is eyeing grad school.
Run the NPC’s like everyone says but my experience has been that you really do not know Jack until you open the envelopes. NPC’s get you close but be realistic with her about what the envelope must say before she can accept. Its not rocket science but it is hard emotionally.
Best of luck to you and your daughter.
@CountingDown: “We know several folks who spent most of their four years taking virtually all graduate courses in their majors.”
This isn’t a bad thing, other than not getting an extra degree. But a Master’s produces only a small pay bump in most fields. The key thing is that they are challenged by rigorous classes. Employers (who mostly care about what you can do) and PhD programs will care about that, even if there isn’t an extra degree.
@PurpleTitan, the students we knew who went heavy on the grad courses in UG parlayed that into top grad schools admissions.
@itsgettingreal17, good to know that’s limited to Zell.
@imptime18 – if you had 25K to spend on a car would you be test-driving the one for 80K?
If you were qualified for a $300,000 home would you be putting in offers on $800,000 houses?
You’re giving absurd advice to someone who knows better, based on her initial post.