<p>What was the selling point for you? Did your kids ask to go or did you just send them?</p>
<p>Hi-I am new to the forum and my son is not yet at BS, but I introduced the idea to him after attending a BS fair while at MIT’s SPLASH. Once my son explored some schools online he loved the idea. After visiting a couple of schools he was ready to pack his bags and go!!</p>
<p>It is an awful lot to ask of young teens. BS is intense, stressful and no teacher/coach/advisor can replace a parent in advocating or understanding your own kid. In retrospect, I have come to the conclusion that 14 is too young and is really only the best option (at least for 9th grade) for those who have something very significantly lacking or without good options at home.</p>
<p>I had no hesitation in sending my son to a BS. I went to BS. My years there were the best years of my life. My wife, however, didn’t attend a boarding school; she went to a fine private day school and firmly believed that a private day was perfect for her son. She had no intent whatsoever of sending him away to a boarding school. What sold her on BS was when my son and I moved away from his attending boarding school in general to his attending a certain boarding school in particular (Hotchkiss). She attended a Revisit Day for THS and was amazed, enchanted and overwhelmed by the school. Her only complaint, after her visit, was that she wasn’t getting to go to Hotchkiss too.</p>
<p>I agree with erlanger. Not all but many 14-15 year old are not suitable for a boarding school. In addition to the “setup” of BS as enlanger pointed out, the older kids and repeats that are so prevalent in BS make it even harder for the young kids to “feel at home”. Now, it doesn’t mean that they can’t grow out of it, survive and thrive, but the question you as parents should ask are - is the pain worth it? Do you have better options at home? The answers may vary from family to family, and that’s why boarding schools have existed for hundreds of years.</p>
<p>Wow, I just have to jump in here because I couldn’t disagree more with what erlanger and DAndrew have said. Boarding school is “intense” and “stressful”? “Older kids and repeats” are so prevalent and make it harder for younger kids? Where are you getting this??? Not all boarding schools are New England prep schools. Not all schools take repeats (or postgrads). Not all schools are intense and stressful. There are a lot of schools out there other than the New England schools so often discussed on this board. And, although some may appear to be trying to “mimic” the top schools, most schools have their own personalities . . . and these are as varied as the different parts of the country where you’ll find them!</p>
<p>Want to learn Arabic? Go to boarding school! Want to ski every afternoon in the winter or surf every afternoon in the spring? Go to boarding school? Want to go on a one-month wilderness excursion before you graduate? Go to boarding school! Want to go dog sledding in 9th grade? Go to boarding school!</p>
<p>This forum’s fixation with New England seems to make you forget that there are a lot of other schools out there. If the ones you’ve explored are too intense and stressful for your kid, then keep looking! Going to boarding school when I was a teenager was the most normal thing in the world for me - it wasn’t “intense” or stressful, and I had plenty of adults to talk to if I needed to. Many of them remained close friends of mine for years afterwards. Boarding school can give a kid opportunities that he or she would never have at home - including the opportunity to grow and become independent without mom or dad looking over the kid’s shoulder at every turn.</p>
<p>If you choose carefully, boarding school can be like that line from the end of the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory film - “Do you know what happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He lived happily ever after!”</p>
<p>You have to be a pretty rich, frivolous and out of touch (with today’s landscape) to think BS–in New England or elsewhere–is a fun-loving place to learn dogsledding and wilderness trips!! For the most part, parents look at BS to improve their kids high school academic and other experience (art, sports, music) and to try to set them up well for college. Well beyond the very top BSs, these schools are filled with very driven, hard working students and classes have high academic standards. It is no picnic for young teens. But my main point is that most teens still need close adult support and parents are the best place to get that–teachers/advisors etc. who are busy, juggle lots of priorities, and are spread over many students may keep an eye out for your son or daughter, but are a poor second to one’s parents.</p>
<p>We just returned from another BS visit. As we walked through the science building students were fully engaged in a hands on physics experiment. My son turned to me and said" I can’t imagine how amazing it would be to go to a school where they teach the same way I learn" The teachers were so passionate and engaging-I was impressed. Another year of sitting behind a desk and filling out work sheets after seeing what is possible would be “no picnic” for my son. Also, the boys next door both go to Choate-the family is together-either home or at school for sports related events almost every week. The parents feel that they are still the number one support team for their sons not the adults at school.</p>
<p>I agree with everything you say, Power10. With my son being away in his first year, he is heading home or we are heading to school for sports and faculty events almost every weekend. That may diminish with time, but we are still very much the main support, talking by phone at least 4 out of the 7 nights per week.</p>
<p>We are just realizing with our 7th grade daughter, how really lacking the curriculum is at one of the top public schools in our state. Last night our school was featured on NBC world news with Brian Williams as leading the nation in Math, but the state is at least 8th behind other nations and the nation as a whole a lot further behind. Our high school has the top SAT scores in Math in the state, and now it looks like probably the nation. The commentary was also that just because you send your child to a private school, don’t think you’re immune, even private schools in the US are behind our colleagues in other parts of the world.</p>
<p>That said, we are more than ever looking for our next opportunity for child #2. I can’t believe how she can get all her HW done in school and maintain all As in supposedly one of the top public school systems in the country. Something is going terribly wrong. We are enthusiastic more than ever, that we made the right choice for child no. 1 and are looking ahead for child #2.</p>
<p>Sending a child to BS is not a decision to be taken lightly. I think erlanger hits on the key question that each parent has to answer: just how much support/guidance does this particular child need? In my opinion the answer to that question differs widely for each child. I have one child that I definitly know is a good candidate for BS - said child has exceptionally good judgement, is self-motivated and driven academically. I have another child that the answer to that question is “perhaps” - socially would be a great fit for BS but needs a little prodding to get work done. I have yet another child that I would say “definitely not” - while said child has the most intellectual prowess of the 3 (A- student, never picks up a book outside school), this child has poor judgment, is impulsive and is prone to pulling “pranks” that land said child in the dean’s office all too often. Simply put, this child needs mom and dad around. We know this child better than anyone else and we have the ability to “head things off” before they get out of hand. I would not trust that any other adult would be able to do that, or even have any interest in doing so.</p>
<p>At age 13, I was absolutely taken by all that I could do at boarding school. I know that neither of my boys would never trade BS for their local HS. For the older guy who graduated last year it was an incredible journey. As for the younger guy in his second year, he thinks it’s "awesome’. The selling point for both was their own desires to better themselves and not just academically. There is just so much more available extra curricular activities and opportunities than there is at home. They both looked at it as an adventure not to be missed. </p>
<p>Not to hijack the thread but boarding school is certainly not for everyone as it takes a special character to desire the experience. As for the nay sayers, I say fine but tread lightly here as boarding school has obviously been beneficial for many students and parents here on CC. Certainly don’t apply if that’s your opinion, one less applicant is ok for the kid busting butt to get accepted.</p>
<p>Madket, Ditto here. All kids are different. My younger one is a lot like your younger one. Pulls pranks only on his brother so don’t get to go to Dean’s office.</p>
<p>RBGG, Could you please say which public school was talked about on NBC news? We are also looking at good PS options for kids. Thanks.</p>
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Doesn’t sound very friendly to me. We should allow people to express different opinions based on their different experience and expectations. OP is new to BS and deserves to hear different perspectives. Haven’t the benefits of BS been covered a lot more everywhere on this forum? And even the “naysayers” didn’t deny BS’s benefits. Can’t we be more tolerant with different opinions?</p>
<p>IMO the negativity derives mostly from those who have had minimal or no experience with boarding schools and they speak an awful a lot of which they know little about. Believe the OP wanted the selling points and wasn’t asking why some felt it was not the right path for their child. Boarding school is a privilege, not an entitlement, it is there for all those who want it, rich and poor but the parents have to want this for their child as well. All these boarding schools make a concerted effort to court those families who are not familiar with boarding schools and want them very much to come and visit their schools.</p>
<p>@sunrise1: Weston, MA public schools. The spot featured superintendent Dr. Cheryl Maloney.</p>
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Who, other than pulsar, do you believe have “minimal or no experience” with BS?</p>
<p>Anyone who can agree that boarding school is rich, frivolous and out of touch. Getting off here as the thread goes to Cuba.</p>
<p>I think all the people who can afford BS may consider going to BS. The BSs may really need your help especially in this economy. </p>
<p>DAndrew, I’m fine with my great public school, Thank You. BTW, which school did you go to? A lot of you on CC sound like fulltime BS recruiters, only talking up the positives and very little if any of the negatives. :(</p>
<p>To the OP, You can search the threads that talk about: “Negatives of Boarding Schools” or “Problems at Boarding Schools.” The recent events at Choate and Groton are some of the things to look out for while you consider sending your teens to BS.</p>
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<p>Well, since this was directed to me, I guess I should respond. “Rich”? Nope, not me. Far from it. “Frivolous and out of touch”? I don’t believe so.</p>
<p>As for BS being a “fun-loving place to learn dogsledding, etc.” - well, I didn’t say “fun-loving,” but I definitely think BS is a place for experiencing something different than what you’d get in most high schools. You want to send your kid to college interviews with nothing but great grades and a varsity sport? Okay . . . but my guess is that the kid who learned how to climb mountains or herd sheep may be a more interesting candidate.</p>
<p>Most boarding schools have strong academics . . . but they are certainly far from equal in that regard, and some schools place very heavy emphasis on more experiential learning experiences. If the only schools you’ve looked at are the so-called “tier 1” schools with rigorous academics, that’s your choice. But don’t be dismissive of all the other really extraordinary schools out there that don’t fit your preconception of what a boarding school should be.</p>
<p>For what it’s worth, if all I wanted in a BS was a place that could make my kid a great student, then the selection process would be pretty easy. I am looking for a school that will help my child to become a better adult . . . and that takes a lot more than a a strong math and science department!</p>
<p>To get back to the OP’s question, which was why parents hesitated sending their kids to boarding school and how they got over that hesitation, some of what I’m gleaning from these posts (and perhaps from other threads) is…</p>
<p>Hesitation 1: boarding school is too intense/competitive…while many schools do have stressful workloads (and those are the schools most frequently discussed here), there are many othe bs’s in and outside NE with differing levels of stress and intensity.</p>
<p>Hesitation 2: parents lose touch with their children, and that’s too emotionally difficult…some parents maintain close contact with their kids, speaking to them daily or several times a week and seeing them most week-ends; others have more infrequent contact and do feel that loss; others interpret infrequent contact as child thriving.</p>
<p>Hesitation 3: kids need the guidance and close knowledge and concern of a parent to thrive…Some parents intuitively know their kids need this kind of closer supervision and guidance. Some parents still feel that they are able to provide enough guidance, even from a distance. Some parents feel that bs provides a good balance of independence and guidance and that their kids will do better at that age with their parents more in the background.</p>
<p>An answer to the second part of OP’s post: the desire to go to school needs to come from the kid, not the parent, and all of the issues above may need to be discussed in advance. Some ground rules about things like how often child will call home might help reluctant parents make the leap.</p>