<p>That is so sad. 
You have accomplished so much, and you don’t even get to celebrate your achievements because your parents can’t accept you for who you are.
Wishing you all the best!</p>
<p>Do parents have to sign if the athlete is over 18? I had to sign my daughter’s NLI but she was only 16 at the time. I didn’t think I otherwise would have had to sign it.</p>
<p>I have two freshmen. One turned 18 in January, so she signed everything herself (I think there was one housing form I signed). I had to sign everything for the other who just turned 18 two weeks ago. It was very confusing.</p>
<p>“Do parents have to sign if the athlete is over 18?”</p>
<p>Yes. From the NLI website:
“If you are under the age of 21, regardless of marital status, your parent or legal guardian must sign the National Letter of Intent in order for it to be considered valid. If you are 21 years of age or older, it is not necessary for your parent or legal guardian to sign the document.”</p>
<p>So sorry that you won’t be able to continue your sport to the next level. Now, look forward to your education and never look back; there are no “what ifs.” You’ve made some hard choices - and the choices you made were very reasonable under your circumstances. </p>
<p>Own the decision, learn from it; there will come a time in a few decades when your child will present you with some issue of similar magnitude and you can decide then how to address that issue. Perhaps there will be a different result.</p>
<p>For all sports give and develop a person, it’s still just a game. Family is real; even in times when generations clash.</p>
<p>Good luck and know that this experience has made you a deeper person.</p>
First, you show a very high level of maturity to post your problem and seek advice.
I would note that you posted it on an athletic blog of college confidential, so most people here would be in favor of sports, including myself.
Second, if you told me that you were a high level performing athlete in football or basketball, and had pro potential ($$$), then you might have had a better argument with your parents.
Third, your parents have your best interest at heart. And so it’s hard to come on a blog and ask for advice.
My only worry for you and it’s not sports…, is your parents forcing you to major in something that you don’t want.
You state in your first post:
“They also are pushing me to study engineering or pre-med, neither of which subject I am interested in”
Engineering and pre-med are very difficult and you would personally need to be 100% interested in them to be successful.
So, you need to say to your parents -
I gave up sports for you, but I have to major and work in a field that I am interested in.
( use the word compromise in the discussion, parents like that word and maybe enlist an Uncle or teacher to help discuss that what you do for a living really has to be YOUR DECISION ).
Best,
Charles
OP- You show a lot of wisdom and maturity with your ability to sacrifice your sport for the sake of family peace. Your idea of playing the club sport on the down-low is excellent. At least you will have more time for academics, which will be crucial for an engineering or pre-med track. Do give yourself permission to explore other areas of interest while at college, most majors allow some diversity in electives. It sounds as though your parents are focused on financial security for you, perhaps you can show them new fields which interest you and provide a good living. Best of luck!
Wish I have seen this post sooner. I have some very good pointers to show your parents. There are data on the NCAA website that you could have shown your parents that athletes (in most sports) tend to earn higher GPA than the average students. And being on a sport team means you get automatic support system from your teammates. It is very valuable when you first start college and know no one. After all, getting in college is only the 1st step, you have to be happy in order to stay and be successful. Good luck with your future. BTW, I am an Asian parent of mixed heritage children whose oldest one is swimming in college. We could not be happier for her as she is able to manage to play a sport and handle school very well.
Very sad. If it is not the issue of playing athletics in college, it will soon enough be something else. Noting that it was “almost violent” makes us all concerned.
All this will do is alienate you from them, and make you miserable. And they very likely think they are helping you.
(funny thing is, there are many posts from Indian students on CC who are tops in tennis or cricket or another sport, in India, and how they are trying to play in college - maybe as you say your parents are stuck in the mid 20th century)
That being said, please look into club sports wherever you do end up. The commitment is less and honestly you can easily make believe it is a rec sport to your parents. Yet some club sports play against other colleges.
My parents were first-generation American, and their parents were total opposites. My mother’s parents wanted to be 100% American, both learned English quickly and tried to and encouraged their kids to hang out with Americans. My father’s parents barely learned English, and avoided those outside their community.
@BayernMunichTM : Sorry to hear about your plight. Your parents sound like the typical FOB desi stuck in the 70’s mentality.
Here on the east coast, there are many desis on college athletic rosters: fencing, squash, crew, cricket. Its too bad your parents don’t appreciate the value of regular exercise on a developing brain.
I think you have done the wise thing however. Continue to play your sport, even at a club level. If you love it, then continue. You are obviously quite mature for your age. Good luck
Hi guys, thanks for all your support. It’s been a while since I updated, but I am officially done with playing my sport for a while, as my school just barely missed the state playoffs. Playing was honestly some of the best times of my life, despite my parents disagreeing. Though they constantly tell me that “you’re going to regret this later when you can’t find a job” or “it is our biggest regret to let you be involved in sports” I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. IT really made me so happy and I have formed lifelong friendships because of this, and learned so much. Heck, I even am now dating a wonderful girl who plays the same sport as I do on the women’s side (she actually got a D1 scholarship to the university I’m attending- go figure). I really hope my parents will one day see the joy and happiness playing my sport brought me, and the good things it actually did in my life. Thanks for all your support. I don’t know what my playing future is like for now, maybe club in college, but it’s been a great ride. I understand everything, and no regrets.
Perhaps your parents are not American-born? Because culturally that’s the opposite of the truth (whereas in some countries serious athletes are seen are brutes or idiots, or there’s a stigma to being too into sports…)… being an ahtlete in the US can be a boost for job prospects - boosters love to recruit them… not to mention media coverage if you are good enough to be noticed.
Your sport means much to you - definitely get involved in club soccer. Not as competitive as varsity, but your presence could mean yours will become the team to beat on the circuit.
And once on campus, you won’t have to report to your parents for your schedule. Say you’ll spend all Saturday in the library if that’s what will make them happy, and go play (DO NOT however neglect your work, the library, etc, etc! Getting good grades is a must, not just for your parents, but for yourself and your prospects.)
Glad to hear you had a great run at the school season! For what it is worth, employers often use participation in competitive athletics as a litmus test for skills they are looking for: collaboration, team work, dedication to the project, commitment. When I was in college, there were certain very well-known firms who were known to recruit specifically from a particular sport because of the skill set of participants. I am sure that continues to be the case. Good luck to you!
Well do you parents have the bucks to pay for school? Are your parent prepared to deal with your unhappiness if you aren’t playing and the repercussions of what that outcome might be? What if not playing brings you to a state of depression, so how productive is that one? I hate to say it, but nothing is worse than a student going to college for this parents, versus going for themselves…
Sorry that you are having to give up something you love so much. My son plays soccer for a D2 school and I can’t imagine him having to give it up. While he loves school and does very well, he is passionate about soccer- he loves the game, but also the camraderie, the work ethic, the discipline, etc. Soccer has also given him some amazing connections and he has found that many employers are more receptive to him after they find out he plays a college sport. He has to work very hard to balance his pre-med curriculum and his sport and employers are aware of that.
Do look at the Club level at your school. The Club teams are often very competitive and usually include players who very well could be playing at the Varsity level but choose not to do so because of other priorities. There is a cost involved usually and they sometimes have to travel extensively so it may be difficult to convince your parents. It really is too bad that your parents can’t understand the benefits of being involved in your sport.
Your parents have your best interest at heart, right or wrong.
And I admire your attitude, I haven’t seen anyone on this board yet of your age that is this mature.
You are an impressive teenager.
I think you will be successful and happy in whatever you do.
Interesting read for athletes in similar positions who need to explain that sports has some benefits.
http://www.businessinsider.com/successful-ceos-who-played-sports-in-college-2015-2#
Charles
My parents are fully aware of successful current and former student athletes. However, their issue is, they do not “like” the idea of it. It is their own opinion and disliking of it, that makes them feel this way. They’re already set and it has been made clear that they won’t change their opinion no matter what. The idea of college athletics is a very obnoxious concept to them, heck, I can’t even watch college football at my own house because of this! Haha. They absolutely do not like the time commitment involved, as mentioned in my previous posts. They liked my YMCA/community/rec center league days, because they sent me to practices/games on THEIR discretion. THEY told the coach, “my son isn’t practicing today, he has a math quiz tomorrow.” It kept me active, on THEIR discretion. And it was only a few times a week for a few hours. As soon as I got to junior high and high school, thats when problems occurred. Practices/games up to 6 days a week, and they just could not deal with that. They still don’t get the concept that I cannot tell my coach “Coach I cannot attend practice today because I have a test tomorrow to study for.” They hate that some schools here put more emphasis on athletics than academics (they have a point there). So like I said, they do agree that some student athletes are successful, but they do not agree with the idea of it. They pretty much said that because I don’t really have professional potential, I really need to give up and move on with my life. Another issue is that all my cousins and other family friends/relative that are also Indian are going to medical school, have engineering jobs at Intel and Honeywell, etc. The way they see it, I’d be doing something completely obnoxious and going astray from the “true path to success” if I would have pursued college athletics. Because “no one else in the community is doing such a thing.”
Club sports team at your college will love you! 
And once you’re on campus, no one will know whether you spread your personal time into crafts, club sports, and student government, or put it all into club sports. 
I support sports and think they are really a help to organizing a student’s time and contributing to health. One of my kids is attending on an athletic scholarship and the other has had a blast playing a club sport. However, I’m not this student’s parent and I don’t encourage him to go against his parents (the source of support). It sounds like his parents still have a good deal of influence over his life and choices. I don’t think he should secretly plan on playing or going against them.
His parents don’t want him to attend college on a D1 scholarship. I doubt that playing club sports would be “going against them” to the point they’d withdraw support and in any case how would they know? Parents can’t prescribe nor control how their children spend every hour of the day at college. Those who try (like a dad who GPS-tracked his kid at any hour of the day/night)… well, need help.
Depending on the school, club sports can involve a lot of travel and can be costly. If that is the case for the OP’s school, it might still be a problem for his parents.