<p>I am going to the 10th grade this year and it will be first year playing football and parents are being highly unreasonable. Every time i do something that they perceive as being bad they tell me they won't let me play football for example. For example I talk loud no football, I don't study 4 hours a day no football. My parent want to be a nerd and I can't because I frankly don't give a crap about grades. My interest mainly lies in Computer Programming, Sports, and Entrepreneurship. My parents expect me to have a 4.0 GPA, a top ACT or SAT score and go to some Ivy league school. This is what want to do play football, do lots of programming and maybe go to college and if the business i'm planning works i'll drop out. My dad acts as if he made a sacrifice on me my coming to america because i think he would made a lot less money in asia anyway. Please help because my parents are pushing me off the edge.</p>
<p>What kind of help do you want? I can tell you what you’ll get–a lot of comments telling you that you’re an ingrate, that your plans are impractical, etc. etc. And they’ll be right.</p>
<p>But I’ll give you one tip–tell your parents that an Indian kid excelling at football is unusual enough that this is what you think will get you into an Ivy League school. Indian kids with high grades and scores are a dime a dozen–football players, less so.</p>
<p>I did tell that about football but they don’t care they think i’ll get badly hurt and this and that. And my dad always calls me thinks i’m an idiot because i wanna play football i have the right build for it 6’2", 248. And whats wrong with programming Steve Jobs built an empire so did Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, Marc Pincus, and a lot of others. Through elementary and middle school year i played basketball and i was committed but my parents weren’t , they never took me to practice or anything</p>
<p>You’re lucky they let you play football. I’m not Indian and there is no way in heck that I would allow my Precious Prince to play football. Did you ever see that commercial where the mom is in gym class blocking the balls coming toward her son? That’s me. </p>
<p>Do what you’re supposed to do so you can play football if you really want to.</p>
<p>Yeah, prove them wrong by being an academic star and a football star.</p>
<p>I guess I can try</p>
<p>The dumb jock and the wimpy nerd are just stereotypes. At my son’s school they found that playing on a team actually increased grades. It did so for my S. The discipline and commitment required for the team made it impossible to procrastinate on his studies.</p>
<p>You have another thread about weightlifting. Trying to be your best physically and intellectually go hand in hand. </p>
<p>By the way, your dad coming to America is a huge accomplishment and has made your choices possible. Show some respect, count your blessings, and perhaps your folks will give you some respect in return. They obviously care for your well being or they would just let you do as you please.</p>
<p>I would never say that my dad coming to america wasn’t difficult or an accomplishment but he acts like its a sacrifice.</p>
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<p>It may well have been a sacrifice, moving to a completely different country (away from friends and family) when he could have been successful in the country of his birth.</p>
<p>While your parents may display some “overbearing tiger parent” characteristics, the attitude that comes through your posts probably is not helping.</p>
<p>As far as football goes, that is a fine extracurricular (and an unusual one that stands out better than the usual “tiger cub” ones), but most football players do not end up in the NFL, or even getting a free college education out of their sport (and playing football in college is time consuming and may make it difficult to take time consuming computer science courses with programming assignments). Realistically, you still have to do well in school, so do not neglect that while playing football.</p>
<p>Programming is my favorite thing and i would never neglect my work but my parents criticize a 96%</p>
<p>My S2 played football all four years of h.s. He generally had better grades during football season because there wasn’t enough time for slacking off. Our school district requires a minuimum gpa (2.0) to play h.s. sports. So you need to pay attention to your grades too.<br>
Play football and make the grades.<br>
S2 just graduated from a D1 university and no he didn’t play football.</p>
<p>It is actually possible to play football and not kill yourself and also excel in school. Tell them to take Chief Justice John Roberts as an example. It actually IS your own life, as well, so make sure you live it.</p>
<p>In another thread OP says his parents are Asian. Now they are Indian.</p>
<p>^Indians are considered “South Asians” in the IR world, no inconsistency there.</p>
<p>I used to be firmly in the camp, “high school athletics are a waste of time.” Then I let my freshman son go out for football, on the theory that anything he did that wasn’t gaming couldn’t be any worse than gaming. It made a major difference in his life - focus, self-discipline, academics. Then he went out for wrestling, also a positive experience. So I’ve had to change my mind, and I agree with the posters above about the benefits of athletics.</p>
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<p>There is no inconsistency here. “Indian” is a subset of “Asian”.</p>
<p>Just a reminder - the OP is 15 and entering 10th grade. Lets not be too indignant if he sounds like he’s 15.</p>
<p>xchha12, are you an SIB? I ask because it sounds like the SIB value system - sports get no respect at all. Unless it’s cricket and it’s someone else’s son playing it. I sympathize with you over the lack of respect it shows. It took us a long time to give our S credit for his dedication to his sport - which we gave readily for our D’s interest in music. We regret our narrow-mindedness. </p>
<p>In the meantime, be patient with your folks. For SIBs, academic success is the key to happiness. It’s what worked for them, their families, and all their friends, and has worked for generations. If you tell them that you are rejecting it, they will get very heavy-handed and controlling with you - and do things like threaten to cancel your sport - because they are afraid for you. Rather than battling them, try negotiating instead: You will keep your grades at an agreed upon level and in return, they won’t use your sport as a weapon. And if your grades do drop below an agreed upon level, you will give up your sport until you have the grades back up. That’s a reasonable deal.</p>
<p>I think the other issue, which they may not have perspective on if they don’t have older sons, is that lots of guys make a big leap academically in 10th and 11th grade as a result of cognitive and other changes. An okay student in 9th grade can turn into a star by 12th grade. If they agree to back off a little and you agree to do your best - whatever that turns out to be - everyone may be pleasantly surprised.</p>
<p>eddieodessa
Member</p>
<p>Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: maryland
Posts: 780
In another thread OP says his parents are Asian. Now they are Indian. Another summer ■■■■■…</p>
<p>India is in Asia</p>
<p>May I suggest a strategy?</p>
<p>To succeed in a career that combines your interests in computer programming and entrepreneurship, it might be a good idea to go to college and double major in computer science and business, so you’ll be well prepared</p>
<p>But double-majoring in two such unrelated fields is difficult to manage. Colleges require a lot of general education courses, which take up a lot of your time. So it’s difficult to fit all the courses for two unrelated majors into your schedule.</p>
<p>It’s not impossible, though.</p>
<p>What you need to do is to take as many AP courses as possible in high school – in things like science, social studies, and English – and go to a state university. If you do well on your AP tests, most state universities will give you credit for a lot of the general education courses, and you won’t have to take them. This gives you room in your schedule for a double major in the two subjects that you truly like. State universities are especially generous about letting students substitute AP credits for general education courses, which is why I suggested going to that kind of college. </p>
<p>Of course, in order to get into AP classes in 11th and 12th grades and make this whole thing work, you have to get good grades throughout high school. And if you do that, your parents will probably stop objecting to your playing football. Convenient, huh?</p>
<p>Oh, and if your parents insist that you should be trying for the Ivy League, tell them you want to go to Cornell. You can’t double major in computer science and business there, but you can major in one of those subjects and minor in the other, which is the next best thing.</p>
<p>Thanks for the info but I would rather do a double major in Electrical engineering and Computer Science and take some extra courses in Business.</p>