Parents' Weekends - new BS parent needs tips

<p>Hi there -- reposting because I had not remembered to put this under the Parents section. See how new I am? LOL. </p>

<p>Anyway ... I'm planning ahead and making reservations for fall/spring parents' weekends and am wondering if we should get a room with an extra bed so DC can stay with us in the room. This is DC's first year away and we just have no idea what's the "norm" in this regard. I figure DC might possibly want a chance to get away from the dorm and spend some quiet "down time" with us. Yes? No?</p>

<p>Also, do grandparents ever attend in addition to parents? My folks are dying to see their grandkids' schools and want to participate, but I have no idea if that's kosher or not.</p>

<p>Anything else I should think about or know re: parents' weekends? For what it's worth, we're not terribly far (1.5 hours to DS's school, 2.5 hours to DD's school -- yes, we are sending TWO kids for the first time this year), so we will be driving.</p>

<p>Thanks for your tips!</p>

<p>In our 2 years at SAS, we have not taken daughter overnight on Parents Weekends…though I know other families have done so. Part of the reason is that sometimes there are activities that go on after dinner on campus that we are just too tired to attend…so daughter goes and we rendezvous again in the AM.</p>

<p>We have brought grandparents to parents weekend…were not the only ones. SAS also has grandparents weekend, which both sets of GPs have attended in various years.</p>

<p>I think it also depends on the school schedule. The school my daughter will attend has activities Friday and Saturday after which the kids are “free” until Tuesday. I am assuming she will come stay with us then… and make us go shopping for everything that “we” forgot! LOL</p>

<p>When I was in boarding school, I did not stay with my parents… but I cannot remember if that was by choice, or because of school regulations…</p>

<p>I figure you get the second bed… just so you have the option if opportunity presents itself!</p>

<p>We had made arrangements for a bed but our D wanted to stay in her dorm. My mom came as well and she was very welcomed by the school. I imagine it depends on the school -ours is called Family Weekend not Parents Weekend.</p>

<p>While I think it’s ok to bring grandparents to the parents’ weekend, if they don’t live too far away, you might want to encourage them to visit a different weekend instead. In our case, one set of grandparents lives about an hour away and the others about 2 1/2 hours, and I’ve told them both that if they want to visit, they should plan on going on a Saturday when our son will have a sports game, watch the game, and then take him (and maybe a friend or two) out to dinner that night. I remember getting invited to dinner a few times with friends’ grandparents when I was at boarding school, and the chance for a good meal and to get off campus for a few hours was always much appreciated. If you can, I think it’s nice for the kids to have the visits spread out this way, instead of being inundated with the whole family all at once.
London203 - is your daughter going to Hotchkiss by any chance? The schedule you describe is the same as Hotchkiss’s, so I just wondered.</p>

<p>@soxmom – not Hotchkiss. Portsmouth Abbey. I love that there are a few extra days on that weekend. We will be missing her a lot by parent’s weekend and I, for one, will be glad to have her visit with us for a day or two (even if we spend it all shopping and eating! LOL)… I wonder what other schools have some extra time built into the schedule…</p>

<p>SPS does a long weekend for parents’ weekend as well. We took DD to Boston for a couple of days. I think most kids who live within a couple of hours of school went home.</p>

<p>Also, during the “Parents Weekend” part of the time, when activities were scheduled at school, DD stayed in her dorm.</p>

<p>At PEA there were friday and staturday activities and then the kids were free from some time saturday depending on sports until monday night check in. </p>

<p>Last year we flew in friday and found that we missed some of the earlier activites and classes. This year we may try to go in late thursday evening. </p>

<p>We then took our son into Boston for the remainder of the weekend for some time away, time in a hotel, and we saw some family and friends. </p>

<p>Other schools may be different.</p>

<p>Also- make sure you check the 2013-2014 sports calendar before you make off campus plans. Most schools have a lot going on that weekend and there are athletic requirements on and off campus.</p>

<p>The first year we were invited to sit in on classes Friday, then there were presentations Saturday for families about financial aid, stress, coordinating vacation trave, etc. However, nothing you couldn’t pick up on-line.</p>

<p>Second year D asked us not to visit classes, so we hit a few highlights (we like to talk to a few teachers we’ve gotten to know, and her advisor, and hear the principal’s presentation). It is still really fun to meet her friends and see how she decorated her room. Of course take her out to eat and she stayed with us Saturday night but not Friday night.</p>

<p>This upcoming Junior year, we will be taking off to look at local colleges. </p>

<p>Good advice above: to spread out family visits, and check the athletics schedules since lots of teams play on these weekends. </p>

<p>Also, if your child has a friend whose family could not make it, it is a good idea to “adopt” them and take them out to eat or to some activity with your family. Ask your child to put feelers out to see if any friends will be alone. Tough weekend to be alone.</p>

<p>Just a FYI for Grandparents who would like to see the school, but can’t attend Parents or Grandparent’s Day: Most schools can/will schedule a personal tour for Grandparents anytime of the year - including Summer. All you have to do is make arrangements through the Admissions Office and they will bring in a day student guide or have someone from the office show them around. My dad is always traveling and when he wanted to tour a school last summer, they were so lovely and accommodating. They set up a student guided tour, served refreshments and he left with a tote bag filled with student store gifts. It was amazing and he loved every minute! I have friends who set up tours for their Jet-Set parents (ha ha) and they also had the same wonderful experience! </p>

<p>Just something to keep in mind for those grandparents still on the go! :)</p>

<p>*** Just try to avoid scheduling a Grandparent Tour during the busy time for admissions Sept- January. :)</p>

<p>At Choate, Parents Weekend also includes a long weekend (through Tuesday night) for the kids. First year, our son stayed one night with us in the hotel and then nervously asked if we minded if he slept in his “own” bed the next night. That’s when we knew we had become superfluous. Last year, I went alone and only stayed for the parent activities and let him enjoy the pleasure of time with his friends free from school pressures. This year will be a repeat. Oh, and he insists that we no longer accompany at drop-off in September – “not cool, mom, not cool.”</p>

<p>Our DD wanted to stay in the dorms during parent’s weekend. I think she likes the privacy and quiet. (We do tend to pepper her with questions.) She did however want to go off campus to shop when we had some free time on Sunday. We told the Gparents not to come for parent’s weekend Freshman year. It was our first opportunity to spend time getting to know her teachers and other freshman parents and we weren’t sure what to expect. We also wanted to spend as much time as we could with DD since we live so far away. Both sets of GPs visited Thacher on their own during the winter and attended the family weekend in May.</p>

<p>This is a really good thread—thank you all!!</p>

<p>Thanks, everyone, for all the great information. We have booked a room with two queen beds just in case (costs the same as a king, so no big deal). I’m hoping that both kids have adjusted so well they ask to stay in their dorm – it’ll be a sign, a good one! DD’s school’s parents’ weekend is pretty early (end of Sept) so I don’t know that she’ll be all that settled yet. She’s going in as a junior and I have a feeling it will take her a bit to get used to it. DS, I think, will be much more settled. He’ll be a freshman (at a different school) and just seems ready to dive in.</p>

<p>good info–thx everyone!!</p>