Parents, What Did You Like Or Dislike About Individual Schools?

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
1

Not what your kids thought was cool, but what was attractive to you, whether or not your kids agreed. Me, I’m shallow and tacky, so I like shiny new things and petty luxuries. I also like tour guides who seem fresh and a little unrehearsed and am definitely not a fan of the opposite, a rote recitation with a palpable subtext of boredom and possibly disaffection.

Kids usually have different priorities, but what are some of yours from experience? Don’t out too much of yourself or the school; I’m interested in how perception and presentation affect a parent’s feelings in general.

2

Exeter’s Library. Andover’s observatory and proximity to Boston. Hill’s dining hall, seated meals, chapel service,

3

Exeter’s campus in general and the science building, St Pauls campus and older buildings like the chapel. Miltons proximity to Boston and gym facility. The tour guide at St Pauls was a little too in love with himself, Exeter tour guide seemed stressed and miserable, Andover tour guide was the most personable. Tabor campus . My son seemed to like the kids at Exeter the best…St Pauls there was no chemistry, same with Milton.I’m sure some of that is just blind luck.

4

Same on Exeter’s library. I know its an architectural marvel but not my thang. I also feel that way about Choate’s performing arts building, but I loved the new math and science building. Loved the library at Andover, the pool not so much (sorry friend:)); although I know they hope to replace it soon. I didn’t love the athletic facilities at Exeter nor the Elm Street Dining hall (felt too impersonal and all I can think of is the movie!). I wasn’t a fan of the giant hill at Suffield but I want to say the dining hall was really nice as was the science building. The layout at Loomis Chaffee was very nice but DD said it felt too cramped. I didn’t love the in-town feel of Miss Porter’s or Williston. The large main building at Hotchkiss was not my favorite but the concert hall and view of the lake rocks as does the Mars Athletic Center. I usually love matchy matchy but Westminster felt too matchy even for my taste but their athetics facility was very nice. I can’t say anything bad about the campus at St. George’s School.

I can’t remember many of the tour guides at the point but I have one example of how their day affects your visit. Initial visit to one school and the tour guide seemed miserable, matter-of-fact, and not really engaging. This totally had an affect on my DD’s view of the school. Five months fast forward on revisit day, we get the same guide for a quick tour and it was a complete 360 and s/he was so personable that you wouldn’t know it was the same person.

5

Groton Chapel & Dining Hall
Groton food (we had lunch on a visit)
St. Andrew’s “Front Lawn”
St. Andrew’s for warmth of people (students/staff/head)
St. Paul’s for overall campus (buildings/landscaping)
St. Paul’s for best Admissions Waiting Room and vista from back exit of Admissions Waiting Room
Masters School Fencing Room (arguably better than many college fencing rooms)
Emma Willard for overall “Hogswartsian” feel of interior spaces
Thacher for setting/friendly people
Thacher for best school store (any school store that sells camping gear is okay by me)

6

The thing that we noticed was avoidance of a few schools in showing actual dorm rooms and bathroom in the living quarters. One school was renovating bathrooms last summer, but they showed us the progress. We were concerned about proximity of one school to town related to safety. How were you greeted? Were you made to feel welcomed by faculty & students? Is the school investing in facilities? Liked the dorms that had free laundry rooms in the building… Liked zoo @ Millbrook & St George’s campus is like a post card…We could pick up on a friendly vibe from students at some schools & where the students would hang out between classes. Spend time there after your interview & check out the immediate area. Basically we checked out facilities, safety, and investment in housing as part of process to find the right fit. Can your child see himself or herself living there?

7

Middlesex - most engaging and happy tour guide, friendliest AO, most courteous and helpful staff. Teachers and coaches went out of their way to spend time and talk at length with us. Great chemistry with everyone. Mindfulness class. Leadership training. Cons: the campus felt too small, the dorm we saw wasn’t good, going to Concord not as easy as we expected, rules too restrictive (lights out, study hours, etc)

Loomis - I loved the setting by the river, the layout of the campus, town within walking distance, proximity to airport. The dorms were the best! Liked the music hall. The Director of Admissions stopped by to greet each parent. Cons: School-wide gatherings not as frequent as we liked. Both student guides were rather dull, one of them made bad remarks about another school.

Andover - most articulate student guides, kind students, everyone seemed to have fun. Con: there are some really rude people in Admissions. Won’t say more.

Exeter - I liked the small college town setting and the intellectual atmosphere. Everyone we stopped to ask for directions was very kind and helpful. It’s hard to come up with positives because we had the most inarticulate and unprepared student guide. Didn’t see the library, the science building, or the athletic facilities, but were shown the chapel! We saw kids who sat by themselves absorbed in reading. We saw too many chalkboards. Didn’t care much for the dorms or the dining hall.

Choate - I liked the campus layout, the athletic facilities, the student activities center, the chapel, the new math and science building, the innovative teaching methods, the summer research program. Great AO, responsive teachers, warm staff. Not many downsides (except one teacher who was quite condescending).

SPS - most beautiful campus. The library, the chapel, the science building, the athletic center. Daily school-wide gatherings, sense of community. Vertical housing (kids from different grades in same dorm). Good balance between personal responsibility and rules (no enforced study hours unless needed, no formal lights out time but adviser will check on you). Dining hall. Proximity to Concord. Great staff, responsive coach/teachers. Guide was ok. Still getting over the fact she asked if we knew what the humanities were… :wink:

EHS - well organized tours, great AO and staff, teachers/coaches were generous with their time, good athletic facilities, proximity to D.C., weekly tours to D.C., internships. Cons: I found it a bit too conservative for my taste. Guide was not into it.

8

“Still getting over the fact she asked if we knew what the humanities were”
Actually, I think that isn’t that odd of a question in the context of SPS, @GoatMama, because my guess is many visitors may know a dictionary definition of humanities but not understand Humanities in the sense of it being a course at SPS that replaces history/social studies/english classes as a double credit course and incorporates religion, art history, etc. :slight_smile:

9

You’re absolutely right. I guess I was trying to come up with an SPS negative, not to look too biased… :wink:

10

Speaking generally, based on two separate admissions seasons (one for DD 3 years ago, now again for DS) and 20 school visits…

Admissions:
I loved schools that split up the tour - parents on one, kid on the other - because I felt that the tour guide was more relaxed and honest when a parent wasn’t around. My son really ended up loving those schools (Westminster & Episcopal, Choate when my daughter applied) because he felt like he had a more realistic idea of what it would be like for him to attend. I also appreciated the schools that had students hanging around in the admissions waiting room (Cate & Lawrenceville) to answer questions. Again, it was very casual and a nice way to connect with another student. Out tour guide at Lawrenceville was great, but didn’t have many common interests with my son. The kid that he spoke to in the waiting room however, was more like him and I was happy that he had this additional interaction. He filled out athletic & arts interest forms, so any school that managed to send a coach or art teacher in to say hello was a big plus (Taft & St. George’s in particular). Middlesex failed in this respect, because we filled out the forms, called before our tour to reiterate interest, and still no coach meeting or even a look at the art studios on our tour. I know that this happens and sometimes the timing just doesn’t work out, but it was disappointing because I thought that MX would be a great place for him. A lot went wrong on that visit!

Facilities:
@GnarWhail my son is with you in terms of a fondness for shiny new facilities! He liked Suffield, Westminster & EHS, while I was underwhelmed by their more modern look. I grew up in New England, so I really love the history and authenticity of schools like Groton, St. George’s & Taft. The only school that we agreed on in terms of facilities is Cate - mostly because I love the historic old buildings and my son loves the fact that you’re basically outside in the sunshine all the time - no dark hallways! Personally, I found some of the athletic facilities to be too much - Hotchkiss, Groton (for such a small school), Lawrenceville. The amount of $ that some of these schools pour into athletic facilities seems a little off-message to me, but I understand the development appeal. Both of my kids are artists, so it was fun to see the art studios everywhere, but it was a huge bonus if there was a class in progress (Cate, Suffield & Taft were my personal favorites).

11

Hotchkiss - Beautiful campus, boathouse, gym, golf course, concert hall, adequate dorms, spacious dining hall, nice science building, adequate classrooms, very nice admissions and financial aid people, coaches we met were also nice, like the way they do advising - same advisor (unless you want to change), not tied to where you live

St. Paul’s - Beautiful campus, loved the robotics area in the science building, classrooms were nice, dining hall was ok but pretty far from the dorms, tour guide(s) were enthusiastic, nice admissions facilities, all of the coaches made an effort to meet us

Groton - Didn’t like the campus at all

Exeter - Campus was just okay, my son hated it. The admissions area was miniscule and not very comfortable.

Middlesex - Liked the campus overall but some of the facilities are dated and weren’t as clean as some of the other campuses. Not crazy about the number of day students and the locker area. Coaches made an effort to meet with us, even if only for a few minutes.

Andover - Campus was fine, like the proximity to town, wasn’t crazy about the admissions officer or the financial aid head, football coach was great but none of the other coaches met with us, not crazy about how they do the advising, first tour guide was very charismatic, second one was a character but both were enthusiastic about the school and both raved about the food

Deerfield - Like the feel of the campus, lots of unique buildings, not crazy about the formality, very cramped dining hall, lots of PGs, my son hated the football coach and the assistant football coach later sent an email with over 100 prospective people not BCC’d, tour guides were fine

12

I just wanted to second @GMC2918 thoughts about the split tours (kids in one group, parents in another). I think if all school could manage this it would be a big selling point. The two schools were this happened were the top choices for everyone in our family. Not only did our son applying for BS leave with a better feeling about the schools, but my wife and I as well as our younger son who was just along for the ride felt like DS belonged there. Funny how this experience alone made such a big difference in how we all experienced these two vastly different schools.

13

Another thing that made a big difference to us was being able to see a lot of kids at once - in the student center at Milton, assembly at Cate & Thacher, or the few times that we had lunch at a school. It made a big difference to me and gave me a much better feel for those schools. Choate, Hotchkiss and St Andrew’s (for example) seemed really empty and quiet when we visited. I’m sure it was just the time of day, but for those applying next year it’s worth staying for lunch, or attending an assembly, play or game if you can.

14

Our first visits were to Exeter and Andover in the summer, so perhaps not a fair view. We were a bit in awe at the size and facilities at both campuses. The only thing I didn’t like at Exeter was that a street runs through the campus. My husband and I took a dislike to Andover; we had a feeling that there was too much attention to appearances (especially the appearance of being happy, “nice,” and having one’s life together whether or not any of that was true at any given moment). This may not be true, but we both felt it and didn’t want our son to apply there. The Hotchkiss admissions office was a bit too grand and the staff a bit too cold for my taste, and we arrived on “preppy day” and the students’ clothing was terrifying until our tour guide explained (still, it was telling that all those boys either owned or were able to procure colorful pants, etc., and all the girls their Lilly dresses!). However, there was a lot to like (although that did not include the AO we met, who inadvertently put our daughter off from applying). And we had lunch there, which was impressive (especially the flavored water!). I really liked Lawrenceville, although as locals our lack of social fit was depressingly obvious - we can fake it only up to a point. But our son wanted boarding, which was not an option there. I liked that parents were present to talk with us, although that again made the social/financial chasm between us and them very apparent. But I liked them, and they were helpful. Really great kids for tour guides there, too. My daughter absolutely fell in love with St. Andrews’s - an open house there made her change her mind about boarding school - and I loved it too. But she was very obviously unwelcome when she reapplied there for 10th grade (the only school she reapplied to other than Mercersburg). That lack of kindness changed our perception of the school. We made a very long drive in bad weather to Loomis and were really rushed through our visit (by everyone: reception, tour guides, AOs). That put me off, but otherwise we all liked the school quite a bit. I loved Taft and wanted to redo high school there. It had a comfortable grandeur (as opposed to the less comfortable grandeur at Hotchkiss). We also had an entertaining encounter with some faculty children, which improved the visit. I really liked the adults we encountered, too. We visited Peddie for an open house and it seemed fine, didn’t love or hate it, but it is out of commuting reach for us and yet too close for them to take our kids as boarders, so not considered. We visited Hill and did not feel a cultural fit (specific dislikes: athletic teams sit together rather than being mixed with other students, offensive sexual posters in a boys’ dorm room). We never sensed any negatives at Mercersburg, and we haven’t encountered any significant negatives there yet (not that everything has always been rosy and perfect or that our kids have always been rosy and perfect, just that it’s a very sane place and problems are handled in a very sane and thoughtful manner).

15

Just wanted to follow-up on a couple of posts@coaches not responding or admissions office not arranging meetings with coaches during visits. We flew in from far away for visit & interview. We had completed interest forms (twice) well in advance & wrote email. The school made no arrangements for a coach & no discussion of the sport-- but other students were greeted by coaches from different sports. Our student was worried & disappointed by not meeting a coach or even talking with someone about it. They did not contact our student. I did hear from an AO that there are recruiting rules that may prevent coaches from even meeting with prospective students. Is this true? Sometimes, the coaches are not full time- or maybe busy with teaching responsibilities. There may be unique ISL rules? So, not taking it as a negative & told our student not to worry.

16

Amy rules about coach contact are only after the application date not before.

If you want to connect with coaches (or choir director, ballet director, etc.), I highly recommend reaching out to that person directly before a visit, preferably with the student doing the reaching out.

17

Choate – architecture including IM Pei buildings and the great new math/science building. Also extremely friendly folks and a lack of pretension in anyone we met. There was a genuine effort at finding out what my student cared about and meeting him on his own terms.
Lawrenceville – beautiful campus. Great athletic facilities. Beautiful science building. Amazing admissions staff (Samuel Washington is a treasure!). Nice meet and greet at admissions with staff and students. Best effort at connecting my student with students like him. All the students we saw were preternaturally poised and self-confident, including at a revisit day where many students spoke in front of a huge crowd. Every single student at both visits impressed me.
Andover – loved the size and scope of the campus and proximity to town. I cannot tell you how fabulous it has been for a parent far away to have my student be able to independently travel to Boston to see me or other family who are in Boston for a weekend. Food – no question for us that Andover won food. The other parents were delightful at revisit day (and subsequently). We found admissions less stuffy than Exeter (is that a good thing or a backhanded compliment?). Best tour guide – most personable and most similar to my student. I also drooled over the course offerings.

We visited several other schools not on the above list. The most impressive thing to me about each of the above schools was a sense of confidence in their offerings and an openness to questions and concerns. I asked several pointed questions at each school and even if addressing a negative thing (public issues in the past, etc.), the schools were open and aware of concerns and taking steps to address them rather than hide them. Each of the above schools felt they offered a great deal for students – take it or leave it – but they had no desire to speak negatively about any other school or to apologize for any deficits. They were comfortable with themselves and their offerings in a way that really appealed to me. I found each of them dazzling and think their students are ridiculously fortunate.

18

@Golfgr8 Rules on coach contact depend on the state.

I agree some coaches are too busy and teach classes etc. But the ones that came and met with families could be recruited athletes or “impact players” - or it could just be that the X sport coach does that and Y coach doesn’t.

We got postcard from one coach/team and emails from others; and nothing from others.

19

State rules re: coach contact aren’t going to apply to boarding schools. Leagues like ISL as previously referenced will have rules, some schools may have there own internal policies.

20

@doschicos - I think they do apply in CA because I saw something on Stevenson’s website.