Good to know, @sunnyschool. I’m not familiar with CA schools so thanks for the correction. Looks like the California schools play some public schools. Maybe that’s why.
Visited all schools in winter. Exeter was the first. Amazed by the campus, facilities and what it could offer. AO was a little underwhelming though. Even as the first AO we ever talked to, she appeared cold, insincere, and cliche. Next up, Andover. Fell in love all over. The campus, the town, food, AO, tour guide and students we saw … were all wonderful. We left convinced it was the perfect school for my kid but felt even less confident that he would get in. Loved Hotchkiss’ buildings and facilities and deeply impressed by its art program, but depressed by its location. Deerfield was a blurr. It seems it so happened that we visited the school at “a bad moment” where everyone in the admission looked tired and uninterested. The last stop was - Thacher. Weather Paradise in January after the New England school visits indeed. However we were underwhelmed by the campus, the remoteness of its location and dorms etc.
Coaches are busy and usually have teaching responsibilities, too. They don’t have time to meet with every kid who checks an interest box, but they will make the time to meet with kids that have reached out to them and who the coaches have identified as a potential recruit. There are no restrictions on their ability to meet with kids at all at any time before or after the application is filed.
Thanks everyone for your insights and observations! Very much appreciated! I’m thinking about starting a new thread@ places to stay & dine while touring the schools…
Just want to add that despite some not-all-positive first impressions, these schools’ positives heavily outweighed whatever negative vibe we got on that one day. We ended up applying to all of them plus one more we didn’t even get a chance to visit. I am a big fan of “big pictures”. I would advise kids and parents not be swayed by a less than impressive tour guide or AO, or whatever “vibe” you feel in the one day trip, which is often times a minor defect in the big picture and let alone can be misleading.
^ I second that.
We visited a LOT of schools so far not mentioned extensively. Gunnery: lovely reception and welcome. Well-kept grounds. Campus had a classic feeling. Tour guide explained a lot . . interestingly about the honors and the punishment system. . liked the school but campus felt too cramped for my outdoorsy son. Pomfret: biased because we were toured by a family friend (not an official visit). Kids unbelievably friendly, lovely campus and environs, faculty approachable. Had a really nice vibe. Loomis: went on an open house. Lovely, well-kept campus but felt over-built (too many buildings). Excellent clear mission. Environs too suburban for us and a little large. St. Andrews: visited twice. Fell in love both times. Outstanding facilities, lovely reception and feeling. Everything we were looking for in a school. Hogwarts brought to life. Headmaster with such a clear mission. Millbrook: open house and reception in NYC. Great leadership and kids. Outstanding facilities. Amazing food. Zoo to us was a real plus. Will always remember the mantra of the headmaster: every student is needed and known. Loved it. Berkshire: visited twice-once formal once informal and attended NYC reception. Outstanding location., beautiful well-kept campus, great kids. Science facilities unbelievable. Outdoor opportunities unparalleled. Wonderful school. Blair: visited twice and NYC reception. Lovely campus and location. Very clear mission. Felt both times as I left: I could leave my child here with no worries–he could not fall through the cracks. Tabor: beautiful location. Just too far for us. Hotchkiss-visited unofficially with a friend. Felt too serious-students all had their noses in books instead of talking too each other. Lovely facilities: University of Hotchkiss. Too large and too intense for us. (Obviously perfect for others). Also planned to apply to Westminster and Suffield but in the end felt enough was enough and ended up with applications to four schools we loved: St. Andrews, Blair, Berkshire and Millbrook. This was quite an odyssey for us clearly.
I’m learning a lot from this thread. Since we weren’t able to visit campuses, we didn’t get these physical impressions. I wonder if anyone is able and willing to answer about girls schools because outside of Emma Willard feeling like a Hogwarts I can’t find much said about them.
Which schools, @makp715? Feel free to ask me about Westover School. 
We loved the family style meals at Mercersburg. Sitting at the tables with faculty, their families, and students…it felt warm and connected and like my kid wouldn’t be overlooked. Also love the gothic chapel (same architect as at Princeton and Duke) and the library. Everyone we passed on the paths and in buildings said “hi!” to us and our guide. And seemed to mean it.
@cameo43 The schools I am most curious about are Westover, St. Timothy’s, Chatham Hall, and Madeira. Since we weren’t able to go to campus (although DD does plan to do revisits if she is accepted to more than one place) I would be most interested in what impressions the campus gave, if the girls seemed happy and challenged. If the faculty and staff are helpful and encouraging. What the facilities are really like because I am sure online and in viewbooks show the best and not the worst or even the middle.
I personally attended 2 different girl’s schools, and learned the hard way how awful a school can be when it isn’t a good fit. My first school was awful for me. For example, the foreign students were not treated the same, girls who (keep in mind this was over 20 years ago) smoked were automatically labeled as “bad”. I actually got kicked out of class for standing up for myself - I asked a teacher for help on homework before class, she refused to help me so I left 2 answers blank, and then she gave me detention.
My second school was like coming home - the staff was friendly, the faculty was always willing to go the extra mile, the students were happy and cliques really didn’t exist - and that is the feeling I want for my DD when and if she gets to attend. I want her to feel comfortable enough at her school to call it home.
@makp715 I think that revisits will really give you a lot of good information and a clear feeling about the schools - better, frankly, than what you would get from a tour. I hope that your DD has some wonderful choices!
@makp715 - I would suggest considering a revisit for accepted students even if she only gets into one school.
I agree about Loomis dorms but our tour guide was awesome!! Luck of the draw, I guess.
The most interesting thing I find reading all of these posts are the different vibes/opinions for different folks on schools. I guess when they tell you you have to look for the right “fit” (which admissions all told me during our interviews), it is very true! So helpful hearing everyone’s perspectives! Good luck!
@buuzn03 I agree - different strokes for different folks. My son and I had the opposite opinion/impression of a couple schools listed above. When it comes to feel and fit, the only opinion that matters is YOUR opinion. So take others’ opinions with a 50 lb bag of rock salt.
@makp: I will send you a PM with details about our experience during the past 3 1/2 years at Westover-- so as not to hijack the OP’s original question here.
I will say here though, that Westover was the last of ten schools we visited, and there was an instant feeling of warmth, welcome, and friendly/engaging community when we arrived. Midway through the visit, my D turned to me with a big smile and said “Mom, these are my people! This place feels like home.”
Some really interesting comments here. I do wonder if most/many kids notice a given campus in toto more or less often than the parents, or whether it makes much difference to the prospective students. With me, I do note things like roads through campus or the presence or absence of collegiate Gothic architecture and grand quadrangles at first but very quickly get accustomed to the surroundings and stop focusing on what first struck me as a negative. The kids seem to key in on discrete details such as a nice dorm or cool athletic facility, but not all kids are the same. Any school has things you could nitpick apart for the next thousand years if you want to be that person. Trying to get a feel for the attitudes of the students and staff is an entirely more challenging task if you don’t have the luxury of long-term exposure.
Also, I’ll throw in a hearty endorsement of the revisit days. It’s another chance to confirm your choice if you have one or get some face time if it’s your one and only. (Ideally, if you have more than two, pick your top two and revisit. Don’t be surprised if the choice changes though, either with you or your kid. I know one parent living in mortal fear that their kid will get into more than one tip top school and that somehow that kid will not wind up at their family’s long standing school number 1 which rhymes with scotchkiss.)
Gratitude & thanks to the AO who really listened to DD last fall. It was our first interview and the AO was so kind and engaging with DD. So, we feel that the experience gave DD confidence about the entire application process – no matter what happens. Great experience for us to see students from around the world coming to study at the schools. My DD also came away from the process being inspired by the students she met at the schools.
Choate: gotta love the new Math building, and Hill House the dining hall with 3 fireplaces screams quintessential boarding school! Dining Hall is really fine.
St. George’s : right next to the Atlantic; love the red and pink roses outside the main Admission building, Loved the Chapel which looks like Westminster Abbey
Hotchkiss: love the Georgian architecture red brick buildings and how all the classes are in one schoolhouse; love the gym and sports facility
Deerfield: nice Science Center with study tables, café; nice dining hall; situated in a nice, rural, part of the state
Exeter: great Classics Department; along with Hotchkiss one of 2 where you can get a Classics diploma
Andover: liked the bell tower and quad; liked its traditions
Groton: Chapel, Chapel Talk, metaphor for the Circle: loved the 8 th grade dorms with their 3/4 walls
SPS: Loved the Chapel and the Library, the campus