What would we have done differently? Not much. My lads all turned out very well and when looking back, we are thankful for how things worked out because we certainly didn’t pre-plan it!
H and I loved travel and always took our kids with us except for once per year on our anniversary - then Grandma watched them most years (Grandma lives in another state). Our kids grew up experiencing all the things H and I thought kids should see. Things like mountains (eastern and western US are different types), prairies, palm trees, rain forests, deserts, real snow (kids were born in FL, though we later moved north), oceans - from more than one spot, lakes, rivers, various geologic formations, history via museums and ruins. We hardly ever stayed in resorts (did Disney a few times, but our kids soon learned they liked other things far more than Disney). We camped (made it affordable), hiked, and did long road trips avoiding interstates. Our kids did NOT have electronics for these road trips. They looked out the window and invented their own game “trading” resources they spotted. They were at “home” essentially anywhere - on a metro, in the woods, or at the Dry Tortugas where we had one rule - they couldn’t go snorkeling without a buddy. Our oldest was 13 at that time, our youngest 9. We got scuba certified a couple months after youngest turned 10. One memory I have is being at Volcanoes NP when youngest’s class at school was studying volcanoes. He was their “on the spot reporter.” I’m pretty sure he “learned” more about volcanoes, esp since we also later went to Mt Rainier, Mt St Helens, and Lassen (all in different ages of having erupted in the past).
We live on a farm, so the kids pitched in to help all the time - outside and inside. It was never “chores” really, it was life. They knew what they were doing was needed. Animal lives depended on it - or our food source with gardening. Again, no electronics.
We read to our kids - one ended up being a voracious reader, the other two didn’t. All three are very, very smart so I’m not sure there’s much difference. Only one played violin for a couple of years. I appreciate that my parents (both band teachers) allowed me to quit piano lessons in first grade so I never pushed music on my kids, but we play a lot of music on the radio and enjoy musicals.
All three did soccer once per week with games on Saturdays for two seasons per year. H coached after the first year. This was local - no travel.
All three learned chess (their interest), but didn’t start until 7th grade (give or take a year). They went on to “be” the team at the high school, doing their part to give the school a state win one year (5th the next with one of my lads getting the individual win). I never realized how good they were, so that is one of my regrets - we didn’t take them to other competitions. I didn’t know those existed. From college age on they were beating world rated competitors online. I’d have loved to have seen what they could have done. Our school just did local school competitions.
Electronics are easy for kids to pick up later on. Mine all do just fine with them - oldest worked in IT for a while and can still fix anything. He now earns money gaming online (leading games). Middle (finishing med school this year) has written code for some of his research. Youngest has a bit of his permaculture farming on it. None are hooked on TV or have much interest in it. In their free time they are out hiking, playing board games, reading, or similar.
All three have really high IQs, and are also loved natural leaders.
We “lucked” into it. We loved travel and opted to spend our money there rather than have a nice house or fancy clothes (or whatever). We have just one bathroom in an old house (yet all 5 of us are still alive) and the carpets/old vinyl floors are torn. I opted to not work full time often to have time to travel. H is an engineer and could support us. When the company he worked for didn’t want him gone quite so much he ended up forming his own company - best move he ever made.
The three boys are still great friends and really fun game players. Letting them develop their minds when they were young by exposing them to so many things has allowed them the ability to do whatever they want now.
People tell us their kids would “never like what we did” and would complain, etc. Maybe. We brought our kids up thinking it was “typical life.” They loved it - even now in hindsight. Friends of theirs tell them how lucky they are. Kids at my school tell me they wish they were my kids. The key might be having to bring them up this way rather than trying to change to it later. For us it was just how our family operated.
No real regrets - except we’d have opted to not get them involved in gymnastics when they were really young. That was a money and time waster for what we wanted in life. YMMV
