Parents what would you say to me if I was your kid....

Parents Forum
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<p>Hey everyone I would like to get your advice on whether you think I could get into Columbia University....Well I'm a sophmore and I go to a really top public high school in columbus ohio..i mean competition is crazy...the high school district is one of the best in ohio...and then theres me an african-american actually born in west-africa and raised and lived in south africa, and lived in etophia when i was younger..Do you think alot colleges are like passionate about affirmative action?</p>

<p>well this is not a life story its just that i've become so much passionate with school and education, and just realizing how much education is the best gift anyone could receive..well freshman year i really didnt have this attuide, didnt really care you knw, my cum was a 2.5 yea..but sophmore yea i became such a hardworker and compassionate its insane..</p>

<p>.like now well with interims, i have a 3.5gpa but i dont knw my cum cause we havent had exams yet, they are in january..well my school being very competitve i dont knw ive sorta lost my hopes on getting into columbia, I know im only a sophmore but time goes fast and high school goes fast.I mean i didnt didnt do well in my PSAT's, i did bad, really bad..i got a 9%percentile of the kids in my class..n i was suprise cause i read alot books and work hard, i dont knw....</p>

<p>I mean I talk to my counselor, and he wasnt very supportive.all he said was like it was impossible for me to get into columbia, because my school is so competitve that its impossibe for me to get into the top 10%or 20% of my class..n i felt really discouraged, I am discouraged because theres this gurl in my homeroom is always like your not gonna get into columbia, its impossible.</p>

<p>.and like sumtimes i dont knw is she right, i am hard worker and i never give up until the end...and I'll do anything to get into Columbia because I want to set a standard for African kids, because there are many smart african kids who can get into these Ivy League Schools..</p>

<p>.I mean in senior class for my school this year,the 10th person of the class has a 4.2..I mean when my counselor told me that..It was like someone just hit me in the face..and then he brought up all this stuff about oh you knw the PSAT's are bias against african-americans, and when your looked at by colleges your gonna be compared to other african-americans..and i dont want it to be by race, but you knw my school is like 95% white and the black kids who go there defintely dont do so good...so thats good for me that i'm doing well..</p>

<p>but i'm so sick how everything is about race..I just work really really work hard and i just want success to prevail in the end...another thing i dont play any sports..im starting volunteering this whole summer but i dont know anymore..my goal for the end of the year is to get a 3.9 and a 3.9 CUM...But i don’t knw about Columbia anymore..especially i really wanted to go there for their theater arts program...</p>

<p>.my other choices are: Georgetown, NYU, Cornell, Howard, Brown.....So any advice on my situation should i listen to my couselor and just give up cause theres no point because "its impossible for me to get in, i dont usually let people affect me but ive just heard it too much and I dont knw what to do..I mean seriously do I have a chance i mean do i really have a chance in getting into my dream college if i work my butt off...do i have a chance, to getting into any of those colleges..I'm defintely getting tutors for SAT and ACT...so i can score high on those..but give me your input..negative or positve...its all good....i just need to know how other people feel about my situation....</p>

<p>I think its really tough for me because I lived South africa from when I was 5 to 12..I started 7th grade in columbus ohio.....and like I never took it seriously but now I think i'm seeing how in south africa I really didnt get a good education because i'm in the 10th grade and I'm serisouly having troubles with grammar..like putting commas like i will starting putting commas in places..and i really didnt learn alot of that in 7th or 8thgrade...my english teachers from last year and this year, especially this year she has emphasized that i'm one of her hardest working student she has ever met</p>

<p>I mean i put every breath i have in every subject i have tutors for french and math because i'm not really good in those subjects..but i'm trying i mean my there is this place called the write place and you can go there so english teachers can look at your papers..and one day my journalism teacher was there reading my english paper.and she just sat me down and she was like you need to work on these commas, becasue to tell you the truth it was really bad..my papers are the best but i get like B+ beacuase grammer and I hate it..i am seriosuly trying the best i can...i working my but off. i mean right now I have an A+ in journalism,A- in English.B+in geometry,B+French,B+History,B+ in Science.</p>

<p>.I mean im trying if i wasnt i wouldnt be staying up at 3a.m in the morning..my school gives a whole lot of homework and tests on the same day. and my school is the #1 in the state of ohio with the most succesful kids...So you know i have alot of competition...I want to be an actress but before I can do acting classes and all that i feel that i have to get my grades up, in my mind Education is the #1 thing everything else comes later..but i dont knw im voluntering for 2months this summer..i trying to do these acting classes.I just have so much to do..I have exams in january..i'm stress..i mean I cant be no teen and getting like a heart attack or something..</p>

<p>I mean i think all the students feel me on this one, there comes a point were sometimes your just tired from head to toe and you just want to give up..But see my motivation is africa considering I was born there, and I want to be the first to make it big do great things, I mean I guess I just want to be succesful in life and theres no giving up.I'm not giving up on columbia I will work my a.s.s off and if i dont get in i did my best..and whenever i do my best that means i worked til the very end...so thats my story...sometimes I just dont know I really want to go NYU and Cornell, Brown,Carneige Mellon,Columbia,Georgetown,those are all hard schools meaning I have to work hard and I will work hard until i die from it lol..i dont care I will push myself til the end....It's not over till those college acceptance letters or rejects enter my mailbox and I hear good news or bad news.till then i'm not giving up on anything.whether its impossible or i dont knw the word but I dont care what anyone says i'm never giving up....</p>

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<p>I would say don't assume that the education happening in those august halls of learning is any more important than what is happening in your own backyard. As you already know, life has its twists and turns, and like everyone else, know that there will be plenty more for you as well. </p>

<p>And I'd give you a big, wet, sloppy kiss.</p>

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<p>I would say to you that 10th grade is way too early to be focused on specific colleges, let alone ONE specific college.</p>

<p>You will have tremendous opportunities available at hundreds of great colleges or universities. But, it is just too early to know which ones. Honestly, it impossible for most kids to even think about a final list until they have junior year class rank and SAT scores in hand.</p>

<p>If you want to get a head start, then try to arrange some preliminary "scouting" visits to see the different types of schools: large/med/small, urban/suburban/rural, etc. so that you can start to make informed choices about where you would best fit.</p>

<p>In the meantime, do your best academically, focus on an extracurricular or two that you most enjoy, and have a little fun.</p>

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<p>I would also tell you it's Thursday, so get the trash out to the curb! LOL Good luck and listen to the sage advice you have gotten so far.</p>

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<p>Agree with interesteddad...you sound so stressed...to talk about "giving up" when you are only, what, 15? Do not even THINK of such a thing...you are obviously hardworking and passionate about learning. Columbia is a wonderful goal and something to keep your eye on for sure...but there are many wonderful opportunities out there for you...in fact, if you take time to have some fun, enjoy your acting classes, maybe participate in some school productions for your EC's - youcan certainly show your passion there. And, sometimes, if one just relaxes a bit, things start to flow a bit more...just remember, do not let the negative people get you down!! Be realistic but also hang on to your dreams. You sound like a terrific person.</p>

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<p>It's nice to see you posting here because I think that there are many thoughtful parents who'll give you good advice.</p>

<p>If you were my child, I would tell you that you need to learn and practice writing, including taking care with your grammar, punctuation, sentence structure and spelling. I would also tell you that even when you use anonymous message boards, people will take you more seriously when you take the time to edit yourself to make sure that your English usage is correct.</p>

<p>I am being very blunt here because you appeared to not notice when I said this in a gentler way when you posted the same message on the high school board. I really want to see you achieve your goals, and I also know that how you present yourself in writing will make a big difference in how far you go in life.</p>

<p>It is wonderful that you have set high goals for yourself. What will give you the best chances of reaching those goals will be if you take advantage of all resources, including private tutors, so that you are able to write at a higher level. Doing so will allow you to take AP courses in subjects such as the humanities and social sciences and to pass the AP tests in those fields. Strengthening your writing skills also will help you do better on the SAT.</p>

<p>With the weaknesses that I notice in your writing, I estimate that you have similar deficiencies in your reading ability. Thus, I suggest that you make a point of reading each day a newspaper (which you can do on-line, if your parents don't subscribe to one). Since you are in Ohio, I suggest that you read the Akron Beacon Journal or Cleveland Plain Dealer, both of which are among the nation's top papers. At the very minimum read all of the stories on the front page (or first page of their web page), and look up any words that you don't know.</p>

<p>I also suggest that in your free time, such as during this holiday, you read some good literature. There is a thread on this Parents' Forum in which parents are recommending books for a student who's interested in catching up on her reading. Those books could be excellent places to start. Since you are interested in theater, you might enjoy reading books that were later made into plays or movies. You also might enjoy reading biographies of playwrights and actors.</p>

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<p>Excellent post, nsm</p>

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<p>There are people wondering where they will eat or sleep tonight and you are wondering where you will be in three years. Take a breath, go help someone who doesn't deserve help, and perhaps hasn't even asked for it.</p>

<p>There are lots of great colleges and universities in this country, keep your eyes open and spend a little time looking at all the options. Spend time everyday working on vocabulary and get help with any subject the minute you feel like you are not understanding any class you are taking.</p>

<p>Join an EC that will help you to communicate and think. Speech and debate, school newspapers are all great.</p>

<p>Exercise, you are young and need to burn off some energy. Since you don't know what is going to happen next, at least you can be in shape for it when it occurs. Read good books...same reason only for your brain.</p>

<p>Good luck.....</p>

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<p>I don't know if this applies to Columbia, but don't most schools not look at your freshman year so heavily? And as for being a sophomore 2 years ago, I can only remember how desperately I had wanted to attend this one school, I was even considering graduating early and applying ED just so I can attend, but with time I researched more schools and with time I saw that this one school wasn't caught up to be what I really wanted.</p>

<p>If you keep the hard work up, it seems like you'll have excellent letters of recommendation by the time you're a senior. I also think one of your hooks, for college admissions is the fact that you came from South Africa in 7th grade, your not a typical African American student who has had the opportunity to study in the US since they were little.</p>

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<p>I think it is admirable that you are very motivated and want to work hard and have goals and dreams. That is great to see. I do worry a bit that your goal or even your measure of success is narrowly defined by specific elite colleges. It is not like if you don't go to Columbia or Brown, you won't succeed in life. I don't recall my children in tenth grade having specified that they must go to X College in a couple years. Rather, I recall my oldest child writing down some goals for some reason for something she had to do and maybe it had to do with the future...maybe it was grade 8 or 9. And she never specified a certain college. Rather, she is very motivated and works hard (like you) and she had a long term goal of doing her very best in school and getting into a "good" college (not sure how you define "good" but I think she meant the best college she could go to or to a college she would like to go to). She never lost sight of the bigger picture. She strived to always do her best and then some on every assignment, sought out further challenges, and so forth. She continued to be immersed and dedicated to activities that she loved (maybe for you that may be theater?). But the end all and be all was not one particular college....but just a good college....a good college for HER. </p>

<p>So, for YOU, I would love to see you aim less specifically toward Columbia or a short list of name schools in just tenth grade (because my concern is that you might see yourself as a failure if you don't go to these name brand colleges!)....but would rather see you put your energy into your studies....get help with any areas of weakness (as Northstarmom suggested, writing help), read alot, seek out challenges, go beyond what is required, pursue learning for learning's sake....become dedicated to outside activities that you love, achieve in those areas of interest, take on leadership roles, and so on. Keep your eye on the prize. But the prize will be to go to the best college you can get into. Read a LOT. If your PSAT score was low, start a series of preparatory study for the SATs for the coming year, as your score will likely increase with practice. Seek out help from others if need be. Raise your grades as high as you can. </p>

<p>Believe me, if you do all that, the rest will follow. Dream. Soar. But realize that the ticket to success is not at Columbia (or Georgetown, Brown, or Carnegie Mellon, or NYU). The ticket to success lies with YOU. </p>

<p>Susan</p>

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<p>Believe me, if you do all that, the rest will follow. Dream. Soar. But realize that the ticket to success is not at Columbia (or Georgetown, Brown, or Carnegie Mellon, or NYU). The ticket to success lies with YOU. </p>

<br>


<br>

<p>Susan, This gave me chills. This is probably the MOST important thing I have read on College Confidential.</p>

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<p>I have been impressed by this student's high level of motivation and openness to advice. I hope that other parents will respond to her, too. :)</p>

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<p>Well, I would have responded earlier, Northstarmom, but you've already given just about all the advice I would have offered. :) The only thing I would do is add a little bit to your comment about practicing writing--Keep a journal! Write in it every day. And, read a book called Eats, shoots and leaves: the zero tolerance approach to punctuation, by Lynne Truss. It's very very funny.</p>

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<p>Strunk and White's "Elements of Style" is a great reference book for grammar. Easy to look up stuff when you're writing papers. Eats, Shoots, and Leaves is good, but more as recreational reading, and not so much for reference. </p>

<p>And seriously, just keep working hard. It's almost impossible to utterly fail at life if you work as hard as you say you are working.</p>

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<p>Maybe if you would stop wasting time writing 5000 word posts you could study and get into the college you want to get into....stop making excuses and study like everyone else...</p>

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<p>"Believe me, if you do all that, the rest will follow. Dream. Soar. But realize that the ticket to success is not at Columbia (or Georgetown, Brown, or Carnegie Mellon, or NYU). The ticket to success lies with YOU."</p>

<p>Thats the best advice I have received in the 15 years of living.Thank you</p>

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<p>I agree with the posters above- work on your writing! It's so important in college admissions that you write well. I've been there, dear. I had poor grammar and writing ability because of my language delay so everything was screwed up. The issue just never came up until I took AP Euro in my sophomore year. From there on, my AP Euro teacher and my 11th grade Honors English teacher helped me with my writing and organization skills. I revised tons of papers in my English classes. I had writing conferences for nearly every paper. These two amazing teachers took their time to teach me fundamental writing skills because they realized that I was a hard worker and had a lot of potential to succeed. </p>

<p>OP, I don't know how rare that was, to have regular teachers (Not Special Ed) willing to take their time to talk with their student about her writing and improvements. But it sounds like your teachers are recognizing your dedication to be successful, I would set up writing conferences before you hand in your papers and see what they do. Ask them grammatical questions. Ask about logical organization. You could even work with your English teacher to set a goal for each paper you write for her/him such as... maybe the next paper, the focus could be organization and the paper after that could be just on subject-verb agreement, etc. It helps to work on one element of writing at a time so you're not overwhelmed.</p>

<p>I agree with the above posters about writing over the Internet. Every time you post or talk to friends online, FOCUS on your grammar and spelling! You need to get in the habit of doing so and writing on a piece of paper or typing up a paper will be so much easier because you've already practiced without even realizing it.<br>
Also, realize that there are non-native English speakers on these boards. I'm positive that some of them work very hard when making these posts so their messages come across clearly. I've seen on different Internet boards that these non-English speakers get very upset when they see English speakers write sloppily or use short-cuts or show any signs of slackness. Take example of these people, write and speak properly. Your writing is the first impression that you make on others.</p>

<p>Good luck! It will feel so great once you can write with near fluency!</p>

<p>PS- use Princeton Review's Crackin' the ACT book- GREAT grammar section review!!!!</p>