Parents Won't Pay SQUAT

<p>The US Coast Guard Academy is a really great set-up for those so inclined. You go for free obviously, plus get like a $900 a month stipend. Admission appears to be very competitive, but maybe not quite as bad as West Point or Annapolis.</p>

<p>Yeah father05, I have been hearing a lot of beneficial things about service academies, so I am indeed looking into them. I sure there has to be some catch to them, other than just the plain old fact of potentially being killed or injured in the line of duty. And murkywater, I commend your patience; you are indeed smart in holding your personal religious view to your self--I lacked the intelligence of patience and boy am I paying for it now (quite literally :) )</p>

<p>get a credit card when u are 18 and start building a history, if ur parents end up not wanting to cosign a private loan, it will come in real handy</p>

<p>will do, thanks for the advice bambi!</p>

<p>I applaud you although I know your family journey will be difficult.</p>

<p>YOu sound smart enough to handle this, but just keep in mind that the conventional wisdom (research based? idk) from Guidance Counselors about part-time jobs is that more than 12 hours weekly cuts into grades. So just be hyper-uber-organized and I'm sure you can still keep your grades and work close to the 20 hours you envision. </p>

<p>For work, rack your brains for the skills you have now (or could be tweaked and developed through your studies) so you can do even better for an hourly wage than the usual "corporate mall retail wage" to fold clothes in the Gap or whatever.</p>

<p>For example, do you speak Arabic or Farsi? I'm thinking that in college you might earn as a tutor or teaching assistant in foreign language courses. Lots of kids these days want to study Arabic and go work in the State Department. Or if you can't find on-campus tutoring, perhaps you'll attend college in a city where you can work for a language tutoring house. </p>

<p>If you're incredibly progressive in your thinking, seek out Jewish Hebrew High schools (not the Orthodox, but something like a Reform High School of which there are perhaps 6 in big cities of this countryl) or college departments of Near East Studies, offering to teach or tutor your language there, for part-time work during college that might pay better than the usual college job. Only you know where your heart resides. Surely this is the wildest idea anyone's suggested to you today... </p>

<p>Or, even if your parents no longer support your educational dreams, might they not support you as a human being...and in this way, could you ask them to buy you some job training for something skilled. I thought of getting Emergency Medical Technician training so you could work on ambulances throughout college. I'm trying to liberate you from minimum wage. They might, just might, find it within their value system to help you train for this, without exactly knowing that you intend to use it to help work your way through college. Presumably they don't want you to starve, even though they are furious with you right now.</p>

<p>If you just had a big blow-up with your parents in which you announced your decision to renounce their religious and cultural practice, I am offering advice to calm the seas.</p>

<p>I know you are at an age of black-and-white and there are always parents for whom any break in the wall of tradition causes the entire structure to tumble down completely (for them). </p>

<p>I only know from my own culture what it means to rescind a faith and its practices, and I'm Jewish not Islamic. However, I'd encourage you to make your own mental laundry-list of the practices and consider which ones you could still do, going through the motions, while still under their roof. If it means attending daily prayer, and that would be exactly when you'd be working your part-time job, well that's a direct conflict. But if you were to attend (for the next year and half or whatever) for the sake of form and family harmony, they will not have to bear their community's judgment when you are not present by your father or brothers' sides at prayer. No matter what you are thinking, I'm actually suggesting you "go through the motions" for just the brief time you're still home. THen when you're on your own, you can in fact decide if you want to stop attending prayer.
If it involves what you eat, well, it's a very small accommodation on your part just to keep those traditions another short while until you're on your own.
If you want to date a female without headcovering...well, with your program between now and college, you won't have time to do that anyway, so no need to finish that paragraph.</p>

<p>I honestly think that if you explain the circumstances well, and continue to do well, no school is impossible. I don't mean you'd be able to afford all of them, just that there could be a school or more in every tier that would help you. It might not be too soon to talk to a few now and see what they think or suggest. I wouldn't rule out top private schools without trying. You should probably look into being independent of your parents for tax purposes as soon as you are able...I'm not sure what is involved in doing that. I would look into the community college thing as a back up. But I would pursue the top schools too --what do you have to lose? You will need to explain the situation or they won't know and will assume your parents income is available.</p>

<p>To Paying3Tuitions: I really have worked hard to patch things up, and it wasn't like an immature blow up over minute issues such as dating, food, or anything of such nature. It was a collapse that was, well, let us just say caused by something much, much bigger than that. I even tried talking to many Islamic religious leaders in various mosques, but all of them failed to convince me to stay in Islam. I have debated with the best of the best here, and I am sad, very very sad to say that I won all the debates. And if my family was just islamic, it probably wouldn't have been this huge, but as I said earlier, they are fundamentalists(for instance, many--if not all--fundamentalists show lots of sympathy for terrorists, like the hijackers of 9/11, and I just could not take their arrogance any longer)--though I do not know why they came to America.</p>

<p>I personally do not hate them, I love them, and always will love them. But my theory is that they have grown up in a land where brainwashing is not only common, but it is the way of life for it is the only option many (keyword: many, not all) people in Iraq, Iran, or Pakistan (where my parents are from) think is necessary for a civilized society. And so if my dad may say, "Osama is a great, pure leader," I get very angry, but not at him, rather at just the ideology, the religious leaders, the religion itself, which is the primary reason I have been driven away from it, and openly so, for I could never feign appraisal for people like Osama and his actions.</p>

<p>But that of course does not mean that all muslims are this way; I still have a few islamic friends. But due to personal experience which has revealed the only option truly available to me on the islamic path, I really cannot walk this narrow road, even if that means not being able to attend a good private school.</p>

<p>But I incredibly appreciate your advice on part-time jobs, as well as your input which obviously shows concern and lots of warmth. My arabic is very poor, because I learned it traditionally when I was four or five, and have not spoken it since. But my urdu, another common and easier language spoken in eastern nations, is fluent, as well as my Hindi, which of course is useful for business due to that outsourcing, gotta love that outsourcing ;). But even then, I hope I can find some part-time job with the computer since I have taken some good classes on computer programming as well as maintanence.</p>

<p>To summerbreeze: It is a capital idea, I might just start giving a few colleges a call, or at the very least some emails. Thanks for the advice.</p>

<p>nyjunior, I had the same argument with several religious people in my family, and I won all the debates as well. It just seemed like they wanted to impose ridiculous religious ideas on me without any basis in logic.</p>

<p>And paying3tuitions, I am a Muslim female. There is no "going through the motions". You will never understand what it is like to wear a headscarf, and even more so, having to wear it if you don't want to. I will tell you right now that I would rather be on the streets than be forced to wear a headscarf. </p>

<p>I just hope you understand what you are saying when you ask someone to "go through the motions". Maybe for Jewish faith, women don't have to wear a headscarf constantly, but for Muslim women, it is a requirement. </p>

<p>Anyways.. hoping to shed some light on how some people are forced to live their lives by doing what their parents want them to. It's not just a small sacrifice -- it's a big one.</p>

<p>murkywater--What I've figured is that too be as religious as my parents and I guess as your's as well, you just need to have, what they call "blind faith." Where no logic is necessary, and often not available, just sole faith in something without any legitimate support. </p>

<p>And sometimes, actually all the time, I really really REALLY desire the strength, the ability to have such faith. But my mind, well, it has a mind of its own, and it just won't let me accept it--the blind faith, the religion--without any logical reasoning. Such is why I have talked to so many muslim scholars, from England, from Saudi Arabia, from Pakistan, from Bangladesh, and obviously, from people right here in New York. Because I just wish that my mind could develop the ability to allow myself to follow the process of Islam, because than things would be just so much more easier. But my mind just won't do it, and I guess the accusations of many of the scholars is correct. They say "you pray at the alter of logic," and how can I repudiate that? They are right. But what I want to know is, since when was logic bad? When did its connotations negate, nevertheless its denotation?</p>

<p>
[quote]
If you take a gap year and volunteer with Americorps, you'll get about $200 a week for a stipend plus $4,700 at the end of the year to use for college. You'll also boost your chances of getting some merit-based scholarships that are linked to leadership and service

[/quote]
</p>

<p>It occurs to me that the total cost of 4 years of tuition is growing at a rate faster than $7k per year. So taking a year off to get $5k doesn't seem cost effective.</p>

<p>lskinner, you seem to have missed this part: "You'll also boost your chances of getting some merit-based scholarships that are linked to leadership and service." There are some colleges that give major merit aid to students with lots of community service and leadership.</p>

<p>Do the Americorps provide housing?</p>

<p>nyjunior, Americorps is an amazing idea. I wonder if you can do PeaceCorps? It's for two years, a lot of money involved, plus a great chance to have part of your college tuition paid for. I'm thinking about doing it after college.</p>

<p>And nyjunior, blind faith is ridiculous, and I completely understand what you mean. My mind doesn't work with 'just believing'. It's a huge sacrifice to just live your entire life pretending to be religious. I've done it so far, and only because I want a college education. I sacrificed my principles in order to get educated and eventually break off. It's a hard process. I admire you for being so strong.</p>

<p>OP: please read northstarmom and sybbie's posts carefully. They know what they are talking about. You CANNOT explain these circumstances in fin aid applications. It doesn't work that way. You will be required to provide parent information on the FAFSA forms, including their income. I have been through this with helping a student whose parents are not in her life. It doesn't matter to the FA people. She is still considered a dependent and still has to provide their financial information. Every year there are students for instance whose parents are divorced. The non custodial parent is still required to provide income information and the FA people still expect that income to be included in their calculations. </p>

<p>That said, you should look at applying to community colleges or to schools which are a level below your abilities. Those schools may offer you merit funds. Please do not assume that the top level private schools will just understand and give you the financial aid.</p>

<p>"Do the Americorps provide housing?"</p>

<p>Depends on where you volunteer. Check the Americorps and Americorps Vista websites for info.</p>

<p>You are getting some great advise! Northstarmom, Sybbie and Ebeeeee are on point, do not make the mistake of ignoring what is being said by these wise folks. </p>

<p>-Yes, apply to your local community college as a admittance and economic safety school, they should also have an honors program which will offer you free money, usually a full ride.
-Then apply to two or three in state public universities which will give you merit aid based on your grades and test scores.
-Check out Smart Choices, Honors Programs and Colleges, 4th edition by Dr. Joan Digby $29 published by Perterson's ISBN: 0-7689-2141-4
-Then look at private colleges which give merit aid such as those listed in College That Change Lives <a href="http://www.ctcl.com%5B/url%5D"&gt;www.ctcl.com&lt;/a>.
-Apply to several dream schools such as Harvard or Yale which waive the parent contribution if their income is under a certain amount, say $40K -$60K.
-Research and apply of local outside scholarships from community organizations, get a list now and plan which ones are a good match and make a schedule of when their apps are due next fall and spring.
-The key is to have a level head and do your homework and have a game plan then apply to a wide range of colleges EARLY in your senior year.</p>

<p>check out this website...<a href="http://www.guaranteedscholarships.com%5B/url%5D"&gt;www.guaranteedscholarships.com&lt;/a>
Don't know if it's legit but might be worth a look.</p>

<p>First of all, wow, I have to say all of you are awfully kind and helpful. I never would have thought that all of you would help a complete stranger this much; I've never had anyone help me this much, so I am really quite touched in a more personal level. So I really can't thank you all enough.</p>

<p>I am indeed really interested in the Americorps right now, and it certainly does look very interesting, and if I can get a project that provides housing, I think this will turn out to be an exceptionally viable option.</p>

<p>And I will definitely be applying to a bunch of third and fourth tier public colleges, as well as community college. I have already comprised a list of sixteen schools, and I am thinking about researching further into these schools and asking them some direct questions that may help me differentiate which ones will really be worth applying to.</p>

<p>I am probably not going to apply to Ivy League schools since my parents' income is much too high to be considered for any decent financial aid, nonetheless for being accepted in the first place. </p>

<p>But I am definitely looking for a job, and I know a common theme amongst you all is to make sure that getting a job will not depress my grades, and I will work extra hard to make sure that they will not. As a matter of fact, my grades have actually been steadily rising from my freshman year, so I do not plan on having them move anywhere but north, and I will make this a priority.</p>

<p>And also, I just recieved a private message about 30 minutes ago, and it was extraordinarily helpful, extremely informative, and I, well, I was literally left speechless. This thing was so long (which is a very good thing), so well laid out, so detailed, and the person--whose identity I will keep confidential--was so thoughtful and nice, it was really mind-boggling how thoughtful he/she was. I mean he/she practically laid out my life's plan for me! This board really shows how nice people can be, and I am just really thankful for all of you. And I want you all to know I am taking every piece of advice very seriously and paying attention to each and every bit--from joining the ROTC, to filing seperate taxes, to building a credit history as soon as possible, to getting a job, and to all the other corners of this very pointy polygon. I am sincerely more thankful of you guys than Tony Blaire probably will be tomorrow when he gets his sailors back from Iran!</p>

<p>Info on the Americorps residential program:
"AmeriCorps*NCCC (National Civilian Community Corps) is a full-time, team-based residential program for men and women age 18–24. Members live on one of four campuses, located in Denver, Colorado; Charleston, South Carolina; Sacramento, California; and Perry Point, Maryland..</p>

<p>The mission of AmeriCorps*NCCC is to strengthen communities and develop leaders through direct, team-based national and community service. In partnership with nonprofit organizations, state and local agencies, and faith-based and other community organizations, members complete service projects throughout the region they are assigned. </p>

<p>Drawn from the successful models of the Civilian Conservation Corps of the 1930s and the U.S. military, AmeriCorps*NCCC is built on the belief that civic responsibility is an inherent duty of all citizens and that national service programs work effectively with local communities to address pressing needs. </p>

<p>How AmeriCorps<em>NCCC Works
AmeriCorps</em>NCCC requires an intensive, 10-month commitment. Members serve in teams of ten to twelve and are assigned to projects throughout the region served by their campus. They are trained in CPR, first aid, public safety, and other skills before beginning their first service project.</p>

<p>AmeriCorps<em>NCCC members serve communities in every state, but live and train at five regional campuses. Sponsoring organizations request the assistance of AmeriCorps</em>NCCC teams by submitting a project application to the regional campus that covers that organization’s state. The campuses provide assistance in completing the application, developing a work plan, and preparing the project sponsor for the arrival of the AmeriCorps*NCCC team....</p>

<p>"AmeriCorps*NCCC combines the best practices of civilian service with the best aspects of military service, including leadership and team-building. Priority is given to projects in disaster relief, public safety, and public health.</p>

<p>All corps members and team leaders will live and work on one of four regional campuses—in Perry Point, Maryland; Charleston, South Carolina; Denver, Colorado; and Sacramento, California—for the duration of their training at the beginning of each Corps year, as well as for transition weeks between project rounds. </p>

<p>Each campus serves as a headquarters for its regional corps, which ranges in size from 150 to 330 members. These campuses are the hubs from which AmeriCorps*NCCC deploys corps members to service projects around the country.</p>

<p>Where can you serve in AmeriCorps<em>NCCC? AmeriCorps</em>NCCC members serve communities in every state, but live and train at five regional campuses. ...</p>

<p>Eligibility for AmeriCorps<em>NCCC: To qualify, you must be a U.S. citizen, U.S. national, or lawful permanent resident, age 18-24, be team-oriented, work well in a structured environment, and be willing to take on a wide range of challenges. You must be willing to relocate in order to serve in one of four AmeriCorps</em>NCCC campuses. </p>

<p>What are the benefits? During their service, members receive lodging, meals, uniforms, health benefits, student-loan forbearance and a living allowance of about $4,000. Upon successful completion of their term, members receive an AmeriCorps Education Award of up to $4,725 to help pay for college or graduate school, or to repay qualified student loans. ..."
<a href="http://www.americorps.org/for_individuals/ready/programs_nccc.asp%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.americorps.org/for_individuals/ready/programs_nccc.asp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>