Parents: would you do this?

<p>Reading all of your reactions to your kids' acceptances just made me think of a friend of mine's situation last year.</p>

<p>She was starring in the school musical the week of April 1, and her parents decided to with-hold all college mail so that she wouldn't be depressed and screw up. Needless to say, she was wracked with anxiety for the show, but did well. Then, her parents, having discerned the letters' contents, did not give the mail to their daughter for a full six days. </p>

<p>Now, the concern about the show is somewhat legit, but it seems extremely cruel to make an nervous kid wait that long.</p>

<p>My son thinks he will get ED news on the 15th, actually it will be posted earlier per what I have read here (but not told him). He has exams at that point and I think that if he doesn't get in I might not want him to know as these exams will be all the more important if this is the case. Hard call. I think we might just wait and look after the exams are done.</p>

<p>The letters all came addressed to our kids. They weren't ours to withhold or read. So we were quite anxious to have the kids read the letters when they arrived. In most cases, however, it was clear from the size or the writing on the envelope that these were positive letters.</p>

<p>I agree with Mac...their mail, their name, their call. If my son wanted to wait, I'd let him. But that's not my choice to make. </p>

<p>With our oldest last year, he made US wait one evening after four acceptances arrived. He wanted to spend the evening out with friends and didn't want to make his home-town-honey depressed if he got in. It was excruciating! </p>

<p>This year I hope our second son is more eager!</p>

<p>I'm also of the their mail, their decision school. I would get the mail and if there was a letter to my daughter I would call her and tell her and ask her if she wanted me to open it or wait for her to open it when she came home. Luckily, she always wanted her (very nosy) mom to open it then and there. But I never open her mail and never withhold it (might've held a few up to the light, though!!).</p>

<p>I would NEVER hold a child's mail. I find that unreasonable...While I believe in preserving your child's dignity, they still must be able to deal with and cope with loss and disappointments if that was their intent. To tell you the truth, what was their intent? My children know that I would NOT open letters of rejection for them. But letters of acceptance? Well, that's another thing! LOL!</p>

<p>I would not withhold mail for two reasons. First, as others mentioned it will be my child's mail to handle as they wish (this includes contacting my kids also .. I will not find them when mail arrives unless proactively asked to by them). Second, assuming my kids have applied to 10 or schools each, I do not want to make the outcome of one school be that big a deal ... based on a belief that my kids could thrive at lots of schools.</p>

<p>Coming home from track practice and finding envelopes on the dinner table seemed to work well for me and seems to be a model I want to follow.</p>

<p>With so many schools posting acceptances to web sites, it's not even just mail anymore.</p>

<p>Isn't learning to deal with your own success and disappointment--and the successes and disappointments of others--part of becoming an adult? Why on earth would anyone want to deny their child that bit of learning?</p>

<p>And, legally, you can't open mail addressed to someone else without their permission.</p>