<p>I applied ED to a college, and the other day my mother and I had a big fight about the decision letter. She is at home when the mail comes, and I will still be at school.</p>
<p>I asked her to please not open the letter, but to let me open it. She was very upset and felt that she had the right to open it before me.</p>
<p>Is it just me or is that really unfair? I mean I'm very glad that she is involved in my college decisions and my life, but shouldn't I get to be the one who opens it and gets to know first because it's my hard work that has gone into the last four years and the application?</p>
<p>Just wanted a parental opinion, I tried to see it from her point of view, but still felt that mine was a stronger case.</p>
<p>If the mail is being sent to YOU then YOU should open it. If it is addressed to your parents, then your mom can open it. Isn't it against the law to open someone else's mail without their consent?</p>
<p>We won't open our son's mail without his permission (though he seemed surprised at that the last time we called him because we thought he had something important). Privacy alone demands it; besides we're asking our kids to face these decisions like adults, we should start treating them like are adults.</p>
<p>Heck, I knew his last SAT scores before he did (found they went online in the middle of the day) but I made him look them up for himself. You earn something like this (perhaps more importantly, if you don't) you should have the right to be the first to know.</p>
<p>Give a little. Suggest she hold it up to a strong light and do her best to decipher the info inside. Chances are good that if she reads "Congratulations" or "class of 09" you are in. (LOL) She should definitely NOT open the envelope. Your mail is your mail!</p>
<p>Thanks for all the support...I tried to compromise, I told her that most likely if it comes in an envelope or bigger package, then I'm accepted. If not: rejection or deferrment.</p>
<p>I wouldn't mind her opening it if that didn't mean that she knew first, but I can't stand the thought of anyone (except the admissions office) knowing before I do. Unfortunately, Bryn Mawr sends letters by snail mail, so there's no password protected email or pin to check online.</p>
<p>If she holds it up to the light, she should only do so if she can keep what she learns to herself--you should get to see it on your own, unfiltered by anyone else.</p>
<p>Two years ago, you still had to pay to check SATs online, and the second time around, S decided against it, said he'd wait for mail. It cost all my willpower not to pay to look myself!</p>
<p>I'm also with you. My son will be traveling when we expect his decision; his father and I will just have to wait. Why don't you email this page to her? (Under "thread tools", above.)</p>
<p>I agree - it is your letter to open. Many years ago my mother opened my ED letter, and I promised myself then I wouldn't do it when I was a parent. (I'll be following through on that promise sometime in the next week or so!)</p>
<p>Haha, yeah me too. I know that even if she lets me open it she'll hover over me, and I really just want to sit and read it by myself and let everyone know when I'm ready.</p>
<p>I will be as excited as anyone about events affecting my kids, but I would never consider opening their mail unless they requested it. I might be tempted to track them down, even in school, for an admission letter.</p>
<p>
[quote]
That's a good solution: maybe your mom should bring the letter to you at school to open.
[/quote]
Eechh, I really would not want my mother to do this. The day ED letters come, I want to go in a quiet corner by myself to recieve my decision. As I'm applying to a highly competitive school and it's likely I won't get in, I do not want to get the news in the middle of the school day and have to face my peers if I'm rejected/deferred. Now, on the other hand, if it is a fat envelope....</p>
<p>Mother hovering over @ home is better than mother hovering over @ school, in my opinion.</p>
<p>No, WSS, it's not unfair of you to want to open the letter. It's <em>your</em> life.</p>
<p>Fwiw, we made distinctions between what was obviously marketing or process stuff and what was decision stuff. The former we opened, sorted as necessary, and got busy on. The latter was for D, even if it killed us to wait. I remember an "Oops" on one letter because of a brain cramp...I apologized profusely. D seemed to understand, but I think the agreed knowledge that such letters were her domain helped.</p>
<p>Gracilisae, I understand. D checked her SCEA status on-line while I waited for what seemed like an eternity in another room. She just wanted to be there with the decision herself.</p>
<p>I will be checking online -- my parents are more than welcome to open the letter, as I'll already know what it says.</p>
<p>I definitely think that you have every right to open the letter yourself. She's waited quite a long time, and the few hours between when the mail comes and you get home aren't going to make any difference in the decision, and probably not even in her/your reaction to it. It has <em>always</em> been important to me that I know these things before my parents, if only for the basic reason of being prepared. Good luck.</p>