Parents....

<p>I feel that I really have a problem with my parents, and that I Can barely take it anymore. Generally it has been similar for as long as I can remember, but in my opinion both are terrible parents. My dad never encourages me to do well while always yelling at me when I do badly or mediocrely. On my sophmore year report card he said he wasn't happy with any of my grades and that I'd better do better in junior year even though I got 93's/other A's for subjects ranging from AP Euro (with a 5 too) to Chemistry (780 SAT, which then he complained was only 91st percentile and thus not that good). Out of my entire report card which the rest was stellar he skipped over all of it and then began yelling about my 87 on the State exam, even though I had a 96 for the class grade in Math. He ruins my days during the school days by always picking me up an hour late afters sports, which causes me to get home late and tired, and sometimes he forgets to also which requires me to find some other way to get home. After my Mensa test today he came over an hour late to pick me up and then began telling me how I'm lazy again and so the same old trash again.</p>

<p>In general he always says that I'm going to be going to the crappy public school or community college nearby and offers absolutely no support. In my personal opinion he has a mental problem as he often lacks coherent thought or action, along with almost daily yelling-fights with my mother who is much more supportive. I personally can barely take it when they begin yelling like sometimes in the car after picking me up from sports/whatever im at and then get into their fierce yelling matches in the car, with my mom threatening to ram the car into a building while my dad smashing things in the car and yelling like a stupid nazi about pointless crap and how muc he hates his marriage. My dad always complains I'm lazy even though I'm incredibly involved in my school community extracurricularly, working on numerous projects and taking 7 AP's in my junior year (going to), and always complains how if I dont do this minor thing that I'm going to be off to Community College and he'll be happy because he won't have to pay as much money. My dad wastes money on crap that was originally saved for my college, this summer blowing over $10,000 for nothing, and has a rampant drinking problem even though he claims he doesnt, but he gets drunk almost every night. He keeps telling me too that I had better studying some engineering field and never think about any humanities field because he hates his job and degree in humanities. Some other minor things are like searching my room constantly and opening/viewing my mail as well. The main reason why I haven't been as involved/academically stellar as I could have been the past few years is mainly because of this abusive home enviorment. The past 2 years or so I've generally just ignored his psychopathness because I'm aiming at HYP for my own personal ambition and gain, not for his or my moms. Generally I just try to sleep these instances off to clear my mind but it just happens so often that everytime I feel the motivation to go do good in school/EC then I lose it because of them</p>

<p>I have 1 year left till it's time to apply to college, and next year will be my most important year. Any idea on personally how I can cope with this/become motivated to improve my preformance until I'm finally out of this house? I've tried things like putting inspirational quotes in some places, praying, and ignoring these incidents and generally just acting like I'm doing what I'm being told/trying to be cheerful but its still hard</p>

<p>Wow! Do you have any brothers or sisters? I know when my parents get on my nerves, I always talk to my old sister (who is now going to be @ Harvard attending college) or my twin brother. If you don't have a brother or a sister.. I would say surround yourself with positive friends, and mentors that can help you not focus on your situation at home.</p>

<p>As far as motivation goes, I would say think of the colleges you want to get into, and what your dream is. When you think of it or you may already know your dream. Then think of what you have to do to get into that school, and reach your dream... Also make sure your mind frame is set correctly, cause if you focus on the negative instead of the positive your thoughts won't get any better about your situation or your dad. </p>

<p>For performance, I would say have the attitude I have. Which is for me, I really want to get into HYP, I know exactly what I have to do to get it. I want it really bad, and I am determined not to let anyone or anything stop me from my dream. & that includes my parents, my environment, and situation!!</p>

<p>Good luck Man</p>

<p>I grew up in a enviroment that you have. Except in my Freshman year of HS my Dad killed my mom and was sent to jail for 50 years for second degree murder and I dropped out of HS in depression. Lucky for me dropping out of HS gave me the idea to start my business. </p>

<p>So in otherwords....</p>

<p>Consider yourself lucky? </p>

<p>=/</p>

<p>oh wow sorry about your situation</p>

<p>i was having problems with my dad before, but they were nowhere near as bad as you guys have it. i realized that the reason i was getting stress was because I was hoping he would change. once you accept that you can't change a person &they wont get better (unless they themself want to) it will get easier for you. you wont feel constantly let down anymore. right now the only thing i can say is hang in there. its really tough but in the end you'll be a stronger & realistic & more experienced person. who knows, if your dad wasnt causing you all these problems, maybe you wouldn't be as motivated to succeed.
well even though its not much, one thing to look forward to when you get your driving license you can get out of the house more, and at least it sounds like your dad is willing to pay for your education if he was saving up for it
it also really helps if you have a close friend you can talk to about these things</p>

<p>thanks everyone....im trying pretty hard to cope with it and I realized a short while ago that my dad is just the way he is. Im going to try to get through junior year well, I guess your right about that motivation/experience part...it helps bring the 'real world' in i suppose</p>

<p>I Hate your Dad. sorry :/</p>

<p>although i don't even know him, he sounds horrible on paper.</p>

<p>Hate my dad pretty bad too, but my mom's great and they're separated for right now so I'm coping fine. ya having a mentally deranged person living really messes things up but you seem to do pretty well despite that so keep up the good work try not to let two years ruin the rest of your life</p>