<p>Hi, people! I am an asian-american female, and I am hoping to attend a boarding school. (I’m in sixth grade.) I have checked Choate, Andover, Exeter, Deerfield, Hotchkiss, Taft, and Cate’s school websites and they all seem to be very good schools. </p>
<p>But lately, I’ve been wondering about what’s NOT in the websites. (Like drugs, alcohol, etc.) This is NOT so I can attend a “party” BS. (Because that is not what I want.) I really want to be in a school with responsible people, NOT druggies, and it would be really helpful if I could know about the reputations of each school. Particularly:</p>
<p>But anything on other schools would help too!</p>
<p>BTW, I’ve heard some disturbing rumors online about some school Like:</p>
<li>An Exeter student killed him/herself from all the stress</li>
<li>That SPS had to expel ten students for drugs.</li>
<li>That Andover is a “party” school.</li>
<li>Blair Academy had some drug problems as well.</li>
<li>Some creepy stalker went to Exeter and tried to kill someone.</li>
<li>Groton put peoples heads in toilets and then flushes the toilets.</li>
</ol>
<p>Oddly though, I haven’t heard anything about Choate.</p>
<p>All of the schools you mention will have some students who use drugs or drink on campus. Similarly, virtually every school has had some kind of scandal in the last ten years. With Milton, it was some girl who supposedly was pressured into having sex with multiple members of the school’s hockey team. Groton had a former student accuse several classmates of hazing. Deerfield had some kind of incident where a gay student was harassed. SPS had an incident a couple of years ago where all its african-american students received a threatening flyer through the school mail. Hell, when I was your age (over 30 years ago), a friend of mine committed suicide while attending Exeter. </p>
<p>My point is not that all these schools are bad places, but that when you put several hundred teenagers together there’s bound to be some inappropriate behavior.</p>
<p>Having said that, all these schools have a large group of students who are serious, hard-working and generally stay out of trouble. Ultimately, it’s up to you to choose who your friends are and who you hang out with. If you want to drink, take drugs and party, you will definitely find a group of kids who will be happy to keep you company. Of course, if you are caught you will probably be booted and you will get to call your parents and tell them how you have thrown away this great opportunity they have given you. Just ask the half-dozen 10th graders who were tossed out of Choate a couple of months ago. (Unfortunately, although I am a big Choate booster and think it is one of the best schools around - with a friendly, diverse and smart student body - it is not immune to these problems.)</p>
<p>Ultimately the BS experience you have depends to some extent on you and the choices you make.</p>
<p>This is a bunch of nonsense frankly. All schools have drug use but at no school is it rampant nor does it involve anywhere near the majority of the students. </p>
<p>A lot of reputations are based on incidents or circumstances that are 20 or even 30 years old. Back in my prep school days in the 80s, for example, Choate was the biggest party school out there. Kids were dealing major drugs on campus. </p>
<p>The danger of a thread like this is it is based on rumor and innuendo, or isolated incidents form many years ago. </p>
<p>Bottom line, some kids will party, the majority will not, and no one will force you to do so nor will you even be exposed to it unless you choose to be.</p>
<p>Correction on prpdd’s post about hate mail and SPS: The incident was last year, not several years ago. The mail was through the United States Post Office, not through school mail.</p>
<p>Not faulting prpdd, but this is EXACTLY my point with threads like this. The details given are often inaccurate & misleading. All schools, private or public, day or boarding, will have issues. We’re talking about teenagers after all. One should not look at the issues themselves but with how the school’s administration handles them.</p>
<p>Every school will have a small group of students who experiment, or who individually make good decisions, but as a group grow collectively stupid. The mark of a good school is how they deal with it.</p>
<p>I’m curious to hear the Andover scandal as well. I know that just this year seven female students were expelled when they were caught using drugs in a car in the town of Andover, and I’m sure that, as a boarding school, it’s had other similar incidents. But, preppy-chick, where did you hear that Andover was a party school? Their college matriculations are at parity with Exeter’s and their average SAT score is 2035 - from what I know, they’re a very focused yet social school.</p>
<p>Just search each school+ scandal and you will see something. All schools have this, and it is your responsibility to discern right from wrong. Clearly they still have great SAT scores and so on. </p>
<p>Rumors are rumors, even if they have an ounce of truth in them. The media likes to play cards in their favor.</p>
<p>TomTheCat,
Close but no cigar. It’s not true that seven female students were caught using drugs in a car. </p>
<p>Three students, one male and two female, were caught by local police with drugs off campus in a car and arrested. Andover kicked them out and dealt with it very openly: all school meeting, coverage in Phillipian, etc. There may have been additional fallout beyond the scene of the car, maybe that’s where you are getting the larger number. So, a sad, sad incident, but as a parent I appreciated Andover’s decisive response.</p>
<p>I’m curious as to how all these top of the top schools (hotchkiss, exeter, andover, SPS, choate, deerfield, ect) will have kids that do drugs/drink/party types. Yes of course you will find people like that at most high schools but these schools are practically the best in America, why would they admit students who are likely to turn out that way while at boarding school? Shouldn’t they ALL be bright, talented, extremely focused, but also very social without the party scene you find at typical high schools? Will students, no matter how few, be great enough to be admitted at these schools but stupid enough to do things like that? especially as usually they’re the ones that want to receive a good education and are driven enough to go through the application process. As teen, even I can’t really understand that and how these things happen.</p>
<p>Drinking in moderation occasionally is expected and normal at a party or whatever but just the whole party scene+ the drugs thing just doesn’t really fit with boarding schools, especially the boarding schools such as the ones I mentioned.</p>
<p>Ruby the short answer is that even smart/driven/talented kids sometimes make mistakes and experiment with drugs and alcohol. The schools do not have a magic ball to discern who will or who will not engage in this activity. And I am sure most kids do not go to school with the intent of engaging in such behavior. When this happens, my concern is how does the school respond to these incidents.</p>
<p>There are schools that have zero-tolerance policies towards drugs and drinking and there are schools that allow for mistakes on the part of the teenager. This is not to say that a zero-tolerance school will have no drinking/use of drugs. Just bigger repercussions if caught. Ruby, forgive me, but you are being naive about adolescent behavior. What makes the BS special in a way that will not incline a percentage of them to drink/do drugs? They work just as hard, but no harder than kids at competitive public schools, or day schools, plus they have no parental supervision. The school does act in loco parentis, there are advisors/dorm parents, etc, but the scenic woods surrounding most schools that feature prominently in brochures and lyric descriptions, do not have an adult lurking behind every bush.</p>
<p>I’ve probably came across as naive, but I am a teenager and I have seen it all. I know boarding schools don’t have adults looking over 24/7 and if there were adult supervision all the time wasn’t the reason why I think the students at those schools wouldn’t do drugs,etc. Don’t know if i’m making sense but I guess where I came from, I don’t know many people who work hard and party hard, it’s almost impossible and rare at my school.(public) I guess one of the reasons that makes those students so great at those schools is because they know how to study hard and play hard.</p>
<p>You haven’t seen it all if you think everyone at BS is a goody two shoes. Smartness is not necessarily the same thing as intelligence, and kids will be kids. Drugs DO fit with the boarding school scene because boarding schools are large residential communities of virtually parent-less teenagers. They’re ideal places for dealers.</p>
<p>Are you sure that drugs are almost impossible and rare at your school? I’m a day student at a good private day and boarding school and will be going to Andover next year, but at my current school there are still occasional drug- and alcohol- related expulsions despite the fact that the neighborhood is relatively affluent and full of old people. Things like this happen, and I’d wager that they happen more at your current school than you’re aware.</p>
<p>I’m not saying my public high school has zero drugs. It’s that they’re either goody two shoes or the complete opposites and that’s why I initially asked that question. Impressions I’ve been getting on here are that schools like choate, deerfield, etc are getting some image that they’re party schools and drugs and alcohol are a normal part and that’s why I said what I said. I’ve found that public school kids are much more naive about drugs than at private schools especially the prestigious ones and it is true by far if you ask private school kids. Where I live, there’s been several cases with students getting expelled from top private schools for using or selling drugs, many times these things do not go public because the school tries to hide it as much as possible in fear of their reputation. They say because people who go to expensive private schools are rich and the % of drug dealing is MUCH more likely and higher than at public schools.</p>