<p>
[quote]
When I was in high school, I couldn't wait to get away and explore the world.
[/quote]
Unfortunately, in too many ways, it's a different world. These kids were 11 or 12 on Sept. 11, 2001. And they never had the freedom of running outside without an adult just to hang out and come home for dinner, like we did.</p>
<p>Chedva - You're right. So does that mean we have raised a generation of kids who are too scared to take risks?<br>
(I don't mean to imply it is our "fault", merely that they are a product of this kind of society.)</p>
<p>at our school at graduation, a list is made where everyone is going to school. I HATE it</p>
<p>one girl was going to Community College for a variety of reasons, but because of the list, she lied and said she was going elsewhere, due to the pressure to "excel" in college choices</p>
<p>I have suggested that they stop this practice of publicizing where everyone is going..that is a personal thing and nobody's business in the long run</p>
<p>why not just list all the schools...and if anyone wants to know about a particular kid, ask them</p>
<p>some kids didn't want to share, so they put in undecided, but that still caused problems</p>
<p>you all reminded me to suggest again to not have that list</p>
<p>the poor girl who was very well quailifed to go to many schools, but needed to go to a CC for financial and other reasons, shouldn't feel pressured to advertise that fact</p>
<p>Peer pressure aside, we have been applying the "fit" factor as far as schools go. There were a few that many in her class want to go to but when we went to visit they just did not "feel" right.</p>
<p>
This describes my D's search also. Not because of ill will towards her high school classmates , just in recognition of the fact that they were different, wanted different things, had different views on the world and their place in it. She is really coming into her own socially at college where it's not as threatening to be smart.</p>
<p>"at our school at graduation, a list is made where everyone is going to school. I HATE it"</p>
<p>Same at my kid's school.
There shouldn't be a list.</p>
<p>Here's what burns me. At my duaghter's high school graduation, the (all girls) girls all wear the same white long gown. The ones that made national honor society wear long blue and gold tassels around their necks. The ones that made national honor society for language wear a red tassel. If you made neither, you wear no tassel. So, the parents of the girls who made neither were mad that those girls felt left out despite their hard work. So the school decided that those that made national honor society for language could no longer wear tassels, only those that made national honor society. What is wrong with this place? Why cant they honor the girls accordingly on awards night, and leave it at that?</p>
<p>We don't have a list, but at our large, suburban, public high school there is a "Red and Black" (school colors) football game in May where our team scrimmages itself after spring football practice season. At "half time" the seniors on the football team, band, cheerleaders, and drill team are all announced one by one, and the custom is to wear a t-shirt for your intended U. Or community college. Or the Marines, Army, ... Wherever they are going. It is very cool. There are a lot of shirts for our flagship public Us. </p>
<p>There is no peer pressure like that described above, which I guess is an advantage of a mainstream public school education.</p>
<p>yeah - our school not only lists the schools in the student newspaper but calls out the school for National Honor Society students when they collect their diplomas on stage (usually about 50 or 60 kids). Lots of ivies, plus MIT, Stanford, the usual suspects. This year, 10 of those kids chose the local flagship state U - interesting since the prior year -there was only one. In any case, I'm not crazy about the practice. After the ceremony, the Ivy kids usually get heaps of praise from attendees, while the others get mostly silence. Yuk.</p>
<p>We also have a list at our affluent public high school, and just about everyone I know -- parents and kids alike -- appreciates it. By seeing who went to what school from last year's class, it helps us understand where our kid in this year's class might apply. Not as peer pressure -- just as information. It's also great to see the names of kids my children were friends with years ago but aren't so close to now, and see where they wound up. It also provides this year's seniors with local resources who are going to a certain school -- your kid can contact last year's senior and ask how they like it, etc. I think it's a good thing.</p>
<p>At my D's school, they do a list of colleges that graduating seniors will be attending, but they don't list by name. It will be more like Yale - 2 (2 seniors going to Yale), UCONN - 387, etc. </p>
<p>There are 500 kids in my D's graduating class, I don't know most of them, and my next kid won't be going to college until 2013, God willing, so it doesn't help me the way it might help someone like VeryHappy, who may know lots of the kids at her children's affluent (and probably much smaller than my D's!) high school.</p>
<p>Our high school doesn't have a list of who is going where but at the graduation there is a program that lists any scholarships or merit offers from colleges where the students were accepted. For instance it might say: Jennifer Smith: Juniata Presidential Scholar award, Lehigh University hispanic award, Dickinson College Orchestral Student scholarship. You don't know where each student is going to end up but you can see where they were accepted. </p>
<p>I never thought of this as pointing fingers at kids that were choosing less well known schools. I just found it interesting to hear about all the different colleges and offers. I also knew (being the parent of a boy) that many kids probably didn't take the time to submit anything or wouldn't be able to remember what it was they got. My son called me from the school the day he had to submit his stuff or he wouldn't have had anything listed. All he knew was the bottom line cost after the offers.</p>
<p>kathiep: Doesn't that then highlight who's getting need-based aid -- i.e., who's "poorer" than someone else?? And isn't announcing that even more sensitive than who's going to what school?</p>
<p>Those are merit award, aren't they?
I like the lists of where kids are going. There is nothing private about the college application, admission or choice process. I think it is neat to know where a kid is going so you can talk to him/her about it and just get a feel for who is going where.</p>
<p>Our school (large public) makes the last publication of the student newspaper the senior edition. It lists the college each student plans to attend and what they plan to major in and also a separate list of scholarships/awards students were offered from all the schools they applied to.</p>
<p>It is up to the senior student to turn the info. into the school newspaper before the deadline. So I would estimate that each year probably only half of the students actually turn it in. My S never turned his in. Even though he got a large scholarship, most people never knew and he didn't care. The vast majority from our school attend one of our state universities or community college. So there really isn't that much of a prestige factor involved. </p>
<p>There is also a senior awards night. Usually just the seniors who are getting recognized show up. The rest of the senior class skips it.</p>
<p>As a teenager, I do feel some pressure. People have asked me why I would waste my time with my first choice school, Bard College, because it is so small and unknown. My other options will most likely be Boston University, Northeastern, Hampshire, Clark, and UMass Amherst. I could go big name with BU or Northeastern, or big aid with Clark, Hampshire or UMass. But, despite pressure, I'll go to Bard as long as I can afford it. It's the best fit, and I think in the end most people choose their best fit.</p>
<p>I think the list is a horrid idea. Why match a kid to a school, jsut list the schools.</p>
<p>If a kid wants to contact a graduated senior, gee, go ask the counselor, who went to College B, I would like to contact them</p>
<p>The excuses used to justify this kind of list don't fly, and it can be very hard on those kids that have private issues and don't/can't attend college, or feel bad about going to a CC, and don't want it advertised</p>
<p>It is about showing off, is not necessary, and if you want to know, go ask the person....</p>
<p>A list of the schools is plenty </p>
<p>Having personally seen the heartache this list can cause and embarrassment, I am TODAY contacting the school to let them know how I feel</p>
<p>BTW all my Ds friends agree the list is not necessary, if they want to know, they will ask and if they want to share, they will</p>
<p>and what is meant by there is nothing private about the college application?</p>
<p>of course it is private...it only needs to involve the student, and the schools, it is no one elses business</p>
<p>what about the list of where kids are accepted</p>
<p>So bobby, are you going to COllege C, um no, we don't have enough $$</p>
<p>jeesh, it is amazing what insensativety there is just so people can know other's business in such a public manner</p>
<p>just because a mom wants to know where everyone is going doesn't mean she she deserves to know that</p>
<p>I feel pretty strongly about this and am frankly shocked that people think its necessary to share this information and think they have the right to it </p>
<p>And as for choice, often choice has to do with finances and nobody should be the position to have to explain that to a nosey person</p>
<p>It is VERY personal and private</p>
<p>VeryHappy, I don't think so. My son's college has both merit and need based scholarships and the names of both are very similar. My son got a merit one but now, less then a year later I wouldn't be able to tell you the name of it. Here are the names of some of the scholarships - can you tell which ones are merit? William Beard Scholarship, David S. Bittle Scholarship, Christopher C. Baughman Scholarship, Julius Dreher Scholarship, John Morehead Scholarship. </p>
<p>I've been to a few graduations now and have seen the paper programs and still don't know who was got need or who got merit scholarships. I guess I'm real naive because when I find out that someone is going to a certain college I always assume that they are going there because it's where they want to go, it just doesn't occur to me that they couldn't afford to go somewhere else.</p>
<p>DS1 is looking at schools quite differently from his cohort at school, but in a way that is totally consistent with who he is. He gets the "Where the heck is THAT?" comments all the time. On the other hand, those who know him well know <em>exactly</em> why he's interested in his list, and know those schools would be an excellent fit for him. </p>
<p>As a parent, I get a lot of the "so where is he applying?" questions, too -- and he's just a junior. I suspect this is because folks know he has done well and want to hear "HPY..." spew from my mouth. But that's not where he's looking, even though kids from his program do extremely well in the college app process... </p>
<p>I also hear a lot of "you're going to let him move XXXX miles across the
country?" "Let" him? This is his life, his education, and I have not spent the past 16 years teaching him to fly, only to clip his wings when he's ready to take off! He spent the past summer at a math program and we hardly heard from him, leading to some hurt feelings and telling him that we should establish some expectations about communications. He said, "Mom, I wasn't running AWAY from you guys, I was running TO something else." I have filed that one away to remember when he has gone. </p>
<p>I also have to remember that he is absent-minded about his cell phone when he's at home, so the fact it's never turned on/charged when he's away shouldn't surprise me! :)</p>