<p>The author is a Barnard grad and writes about her experiences (some at Barnard) with the overwhelming perfectionism in our generation of young women. There are two subtitles: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body and, the one I identify with more, How the Quest for Perfection is Harming Young Women. </p>
<p>It’s actually making me reconsider going to Barnard, and I would like if other people who have read the book weigh in on their own experiences at Barnard. Thanks!</p>
<p>My D is graduating and she has absolutely no eating disorders whatsoever. Her room was always “the chocolate room” because she always kept a stash of chocolate. It really made her popular.</p>
<p>The book really isn’t about eating disorders. It’s about feeling guilty after eating a lot of chocolate and feeling “good” after running five miles afterwards. It’s about feeling like your body has room for improvement–aesthetically speaking. It’s about the attitudes that go unquestioned and are reinforced again and again by mtv, porn, parents’ behavior, etc. Mostly though, it’s about smart women–like the ones at Barnard–who are still inexplicably bound to the quest for perfection. Anyway, I recommend it to anybody who’s ever been or cared about a young woman. Important stuff!</p>
<p>How has this book made you “reconsider going to Barnard”? Do you mean to say it makes you want to consider GOING there? Or has it made you decide maybe NOT to go there?</p>
<p>I would hope it’s the former because these sorts of attitudes, to the extent they are prevalent, are certainly not unique to Barnard. Though I will say most students there do seem interested in pursuing their own best destiny. Also, I should think it would be a point of pride to attend a school where such thoughtful and influential writers are produced…</p>
<p>Okay, amaryllis, I see by some other posts that you also are admitted to Columbia but are not sure that is where you want to go. So were you also admitted to Barnard? </p>
<p>It seems that some of the concerns you stated in the Columbia thread you started (not a good undergrad focus and the Core are the two i recall right off) would indeed be addressed to the good by going to Barnard. Just my two cents! Hope you get to visit both campuses and then let us know how you decide!</p>
<p>So it’s wrong to feel good about running five miles after eating chocolate? Oh, oh, I’m in trouble! I managed to lose 30 pounds that way, and I’m “old.”</p>
<p>I agree. Yes, there are thin people in the media. Get over it. (sorry, I don’t mean to sound so rude)
However, it’s annoying how people blame everyone else for their problems. I’m thin becuase I want to be.</p>
<p>With all due respect, I think you guys are making light of a very serious problem. Obviously she’s talking about women who do that run in order to “purge” the chocolate and aren’t able to feel “good” until those calories are expunged, so to speak. But eating disorders are only the tip of the iceberg.</p>
<p>Amaryllis, there have been a number of articles about the demands for perfectionism that are placed on young women. Not only are they expected to be academically advanced, they are also supposed to be physically and emotionally perfect. I read a few years ago that Asian American women have the highest rate of suicide of all teens and young adults. (I’ll try to find the source.) It’s a crushing burden and one I do worry about. I think you are confusing cause and effect though. Barnard isn’t the source of the problem nor is it the only place you’ll find this. Far from it! Women’s colleges are supportive of their students in a way that differentiates them from other places–including other LACs. These schools are very aware of the pressure on young women and make a special effort to deal with that pressure. I’ve been impressed by that warmth, personal attention, and sense of community that I’ve seen at the various women’s schools I’ve visited with my daughters.</p>
<p>If anything my impression was that Barnard women would be somewhat less conforming to negative societal pushes than at most of schools with women with similar academic backgrounds … one of the big draws for my daughter was the vibe on campus which seemed more grounded and funky than most of schools she visited. I am not denying these pressures exist on women today … as a parent of a daughter who will be attending Barnard I’m very glad she is going there and one of the reasons is I think Barnard will very much help her resist these negative pressures.</p>
<p>3togo: That has been true for my graduating daughter. She has had a wonderful time there. And body image was not a problem. Barnard was a relief after the dance world she came from. Good luck to your D. I can’t believe my D won’t be there! Sniff, sniff.</p>
<p>I’m not trying to make light of it. However, I don’t understand how a book about this would change anyone’s opinion of an entire college just becuase the author is an alum.</p>
<p>When I was posting here before, it seemed to me that the daughter of every single Barnard parent who posted here was a dancer.</p>
<p>As for the book it is yet another example of a published Barnard author; the literary field is clearly an area of endeavor where Barnard helps its students achieve, to an outstanding degree.</p>
<p>Haha, yeah, monydad. Barnard is one of the few places dancers who are serious about dance AND about academics can go for college. It’s why my daughter chose it.</p>
<p>MM and CMM, our younger daughter told us in her first year that she was one of 12 frosh who didn’t dance. She said she and the other nondancers were admitted so there would be someone to sit in the audience.</p>
I managed to lose 30 pounds that way, and I’m “old.”</p>