Sure we have all SEEN a helicopter/psycho parents along the audition trail- heck, there have been entire threads dedicated to telling funny stories about them- because they are the EXCEPTION, not the rule. I just fail to see how reading my kid’s college essays before she submitted them (as did her AP English teacher btw) makes me (or all of us from the OP’s viewpoint) INTO that parent 
This thread is giving me flashbacks from 2006! LOL Don’t feed it and it’ll go away …
Well, I thought I was done until Jkellyn17 called me a liar, which I am not. Perhaps I wasn’t clear enough and that’s what led you to believe my son/situation was a “train wreck” and that I was not being "100% truthful.: I can be called many things… but a liar is not one of them. So, I’ll explain my kids’ timeline for the past 2 years because I’m thinking that’s where I lost you.
Graduated high school, went to community college in 14 had his first year of auditions… He got into to the New School, VCU and another 2nd tier school and WL for his dream school CMU. He didn’t get in, WL is just another way to make some people feel happy. If you don’t get in, let’s just call it a rejection. This time around 14-15, he didn’t even audition for CMU because he realized that that wasn’t where he really belonged (things happen for a reason). He attended one of the above schools for 1/2 year and chose to leave because he felt he was wasting money and didn’t fit into their program. So… he left 5 weeks ago and patiently awaited his results like everyone else. I asked what was his plan B if he didn’t get accepted to any of his schools. ( I mean, I only sent 1 college application and got into UCI and then transferred to UCSB but that was 32 years ago and I looking back, I would never have put all of my eggs in one basket. I just got lucky). He didn’t have a plan B.
If it makes anyone feel better to call me a liar, then so be it. I didn’t realize that this discussion group could disrupted by my thoughts. I never intended to mention how my kid did, but again it was suggested that I might not be telling the complete truth again. My son is more than embarrassed and hopes no one figures out his identity.
The worst thing about being a parent is when you realize that, in the final analysis, even when you’ve done everything in your power, they don’t get what they want. What’s worse is that this entire process is so subjective. Do you believe when the director tells an actor that they have talent but unfortunately they are putting together a team that has to work together for the next 4 years? I do!. I am not so bold to assume they can build a team around my kid. I really wanted him to get into UNCSA, but he didn’t. He is obviously talented, but he doesn’t fit their plan for the class of 2019. Rutgers wasn’t even on his radar, they thought he would be a great fit–apparently not enough to admit him.
In the end, I’m still left wondering. “How many parents here went to all of your kids voice/acting/dance lessons with them? How many were there for every rehearsal? How many went to the casting director, on their behalf, and expressed your disappointment that they didn’t get that role?” Are you the one who has her ear to the door as they audition (why?). That is the parent I was directing my comments to. If it’s you then I hope you let your child fend for themselves. Confidence comes from within. At that age, they can handle the spotlight without mom/dad holding their hand.
If the above doesn’t describe you, then let it go. This is what worked for my kid and if something else works for yours great. I have 7 kids and I know that no 2 kids are the same. The only thing that is consistent is that we love them all and are learning what works for each of them.
I don’t think anyone is accusing you of lying, Sunflower. I believe you are the one who began with a number of accusations. The rest of us were just here, hanging out in a friendly fashion, and taken by surprise.
There is no way to know what we have all done or not done for our children, unless we live in each other's houses. I also did not write my daughter's essays (they would have been better if I had!) or fill out her applications. I did help to find her excellent teachers and lesson, and I sure have paid a whole lot of money. I went with her to auditions, but sat quietly, waiting with love and anxiety for it all to be over.
Anyway, I have learned almost everything I needed to know from CC. Due to other's efforts, I learned about good schools, how and when to have my daughter apply, what to expect during auditions, and all kinds of stuff. Most of what I learned, my daughter was not interested in knowing. But, it was comforting and helpful to me. I am glad to "know" people here, and send them all my best wishes for their families. I wish your son success as well, Sunflower. It is a tough world out there, and we all need to try to be positive and strong for each other. Hopefully we will all see each other at the Tonys someday. I doubt it, but wouldn't that be nice! I hope, if you want to be a part of our "community" that you can enter in with more curiosity and openness. We are not who you seem to think that we are.
Have you really been posting since 2006? Whoa! Funny thing, my son and I went to an overnight for admitted students to Chicago College of Performing Arts last year. He overheard a mother in the elevator and asked her was she… was ‘insertscreenname’ from cc? She said yes and he said she knew a lot and thanks. Although, we loved Chicago, he wasn’t going to a school that he had to explain to people who they were.
fish- you are entirely right…but it’s just so hard…
I typed a REALLY long paragraph all about what CC has meant to me, how much my child and I have learned from those who came before, how I hope that I have managed to give some of that back into the community…and then I realized that talking to people who’s mind is so clearly made up is a waste of time. (and that you can’t fix stupid)
Sunflower - it seems to me that we are beyond your help. Thank you for trying to warn us of the dangers you see us falling into- and best of luck to your kid. Maybe it would be best if you just left us to muddle through on our own.
Okay, so my son just told me pretty much the same thing that @YardleySisa said (except for the liar part) I had no idea that this group had been together at least since 2006. He explained to me that you are more like a family and not like my quilting or facebook groups. My kid doesn’t know how many are in the group, but that most of you are taking exception with me except for the lady we met in the elevator. She has yet to comment. OMG, I’m so sorry. Given that, I understand why you thought I was jumping in and changing the flow of the group. So, my child just gave me the background on several group members and shared ups/downs/ kids etc. I’m sorry. I had no idea. I didn’t have a question, I had a perspective. My perspective wasn’t meant to attack any of you, it was to grab the attention of a specific type of parent. I never, for once, thought that this was a small group. I thought it was a place for people who had questions or suggestions could share them in with a modicum of decorum and get some answers and share perspective. This post has been read by many people, yet you are the ones who were upset. If just one person was able to see themselves in what I expressed isn’t that doing a bit of good? I was never here to discuss my kid but to speak to certain parents. And, if @toowonderful feels better calling me stupid… then so be it. I think it is ignorant to believe that your way is the only way for kids to succeed. Muddle on your own? I see no reason to go there. I thought and still believe that I was having an adult conversation with grown people who could handle views different from their own. You are the closed minded people that have implied that I wasn’t 100% truthful etc. I’m guessing that you should really close the group so you don’t have to listen who don’t think like you all seem to. Just wondering… what part of the country are you all from? Also, I don’t need to hide behind a name. My name is Lisa. I’m thinking I just may stay here… I’ll just be the “drunk uncle.”
You did not meet me on the elevator, sorry. I wasn’t there last year or at any accepted student event ever. (We live really far away.)
I actually don’t think they have accepted student events at CCPA, though they will let accepted students visit and attend a class on an ad hoc basis. (It’s details like that that make me wonder about the rest, honestly.) The point about not going to school that people haven’t heard of is fair enough if you have a lot of other choices. Everybody does what they can with the choices they have.
I have been around these boards for a long while now- first with an MT kid who has since graduated and more recently with an athletic recruit. Our first 2 kids were more typical and they did just fine with admissions before I ever found this site. However throughout the journeys of the younger 2, I found that parents and students alike on these boards were immensely helpful- both of these kids were “specialty types” in that their college admissions were not just the “find a list of schools that fit, apply, decide where to go”. HS counselors were not of much help to either of them because both had to go a different route for college admissions- auditions for one and the whole recruitment process for the other. I don’t think either of them would have ended up where they did without the help of people on these boards. People here have gone out of their way to offer valuable advice, encouragement, taken the time to PM me with fantastic suggestions, celebrate accomplishments and commiserate when things were not going as well. Occasionally there is a post that we can all laugh about detailing the antics of some “over-the-top” parent types, but they never identify anyone specifically. Most of us try to support others, but not offer un-asked for advice (occasionally we slip up and give an unwanted opinion.) Academic programs for theater can be extremely expensive (as we all know) and anything the people on these boards can do to make the process easier and find affordable options is much appreciated!
Like MANY of the people here, I have tried to pay-it-forward by offering our experiences to others who might benefit. I also do the same on a local basis and currently have gotten a few calls from kids younger than my son who are now trying to be recruited in his sport. I feel like the least I can do is help any way I can since so many people here helped us. You seem like you are very bitter about something, and maybe trying to pick a fight, although I have no idea why. You don’t seem to be offering any constructive criticism or advice, but just ranting about some supposed situations. You might be more successful here if you were less judgemental about the people here and more positive in general. I’m sure everyone here would be more than willing to help out if your son needs information about any specific programs. Good luck to both of you!
One more little thing… you stated “My son is more than embarrassed and hopes no one figures out his identity.” If that is the case, it is probably not a good idea to list your email address and name here. The theater world is very small and it is amazing how easy it is sometimes to figure out who people are. Your son might appreciate it if you didn’t supply any more identifying information.
sunflower - congrats to your kid - did it all without your help, your care or your concern. why, exactly, do you think you have the right or need to criticize others for not letting kids grow up, as you define letting kids grow up? i went to the auditions with my son, watched his stuff, chatted with school reps or other parents, never listened at a door or asked how he did when it ended. that was the support he wanted - a friendly face. so, who are you to judge?
@Thespiandad Her son did it on his own and quit school after 5 months…maybe she should have guided him a little…helped him find a better fit in schools…
Not that I need to justify, but by way of education: A 16 or 17 year old cannot typically rent a hotel room by themselves, nor can they rent a car. There were on campus auditions that required fly and drive, as we are not oil rich sultans with private jets to fly them into and out of podunk town airports for Auditions. My kid is still in high school and putting her on a train or bus accross country (we don’t all live east of the Mississippi) or even across the state would have gotten her expelled for missing too much school. Counterproductive.
I rented the hotel room, had a nice vacation, and sometimes had time with D at the end of the day. Sometimes she hung out with friends. And I didnt even follow her. We had lots of fun travelling together, and like others, would not have traded the time for the world.
I think you’re jealous. And if it was “your son” who “felt the need to share his responses” why are you responding for him?
Just wow. I’m grateful that even though by the OP’s standards I did much of this wrong, my kid seems to be doing fabulously in spite of me.
I have to agree with @takeitallin - you seem quite bitter about something. Perhaps your bittnerness is that you don’t have the time to coddle your last 5 like you did the first two.
I think all of us have seen the over bearing parent who listens to their child’s audition at the door but who really cares? If that’s what they choose to do, so be it. It doesn’t impact you in any way or your son’s success or not. Frankly, I find it amusing.
Whether we help our kid with apps, essays or what to wear to an audition - I think that is all about being a parent and in no way do I feel it prevents them from being independent, successful college students.
If I read your post correctly your son enrolled in college at age 14 - maybe that has something to do with college not being a good fit.
I think CC in theatre/drama and MT is primarily parents who are trying to gain as much knowledge as they can to guide their child through the process of college auditions so that they can help with the logistics. Even the most overbearing coddling parent can’t help their kid get admitted.
Peace.
No he entered college 2014 is what she meant…
OP is what is known on the internet as a troll. I feel pity mostly and a little bit amused. Does the OP think we care about her opinion of our parenting?
My daughter came home from Arts summer camp (on the campus of an Arts Boarding School) after 7th grade and said “I’m going to a musical theater Boarding School and I am going to get a scholarship to go there”. We went along thinking no way would that happen because I thought you had to be poor to get a scholarship at that level. (And at the time, I was not about to let my baby leave me.) We are middle class and could never afford the tuition (around 53K at the time) also knowing we had three kids that would be in college at once and one following behind . Well, she researched schools, filled out everything except the money part and gave us the application for 3 schools. We signed it and she actually got into all three schools with scholarships. (They could probably tell she filled out everything.) Well, even with the offer we could not afford it and figured maybe senior year we could make up the difference and send her. Well after freshman year at the local public high school, she tried again and this time the same thing happened but one school (our favorite) gave us enough money to swing it. (We told her we could handle around the same tuition as the local Catholic school). Anyway, fast forward to Unifieds, the school takes the seniors instead of parents, in fact, parents are not allowed to go. My daughter has been independent since as long as I can remember. We have learned to just listen and not suggest things because she wants to do it. Some kids are like that. My two oldest boys actually go to a University in my town, one lives at home and one near campus. My youngest gets nervous when I’m gone for a night. My theatre kid, she has always insisted on doing everything on her own. We have a really great relationship and are close and honestly, she said she is glad I “stay in the car and hotel” when I go with her and she wants to be the one to ask the questions. That’s okay. And its okay that everyone has their own opinions and does whats best for their families. And, yes when you have several children, and or parents that need care, sometimes you can’t do more than let them do it themselves, whether they let you or not. And sometimes, we choose to stay out of things and let them find their own way. Thats okay too. WE ARE ALL JUST DOING THE BEST WE CAN.
Oh, lord, let’s hope that that crew doesn’t return! Haha. Hope things are going well for you, fishbowlfreshman. (Somehow, it doesn’t seem right calling you that anymore). 