Best Way To Hear 'No'

<p>While away the waiting time with a poll . . .</p>

<p>Part I:
If you (parents, read 'your kid') are ultimately going to be rejected by a school, which of these audition processes would you rather have:
1. 5-7 minutes with an auditor/auditors who neither look at you nor talk to you (and you know before you leave the building that you are out)?
2. 15 or more minutes of audition and conversation with an auditor/auditors who act friendly and interested in you (maybe you leave with hope)?
3. 15 or more minutes of audition and conversation with an auditor/auditors who act a bit harsh while reworking your material (maybe you leave without hope)?</p>

<p>Part II:
Would your opinion change about the audition process if you ultimately got acceptances from all three types of audition? Would your final school choice be based in part on the audition process?</p>

<p>Part III:
Parents, do you think your opinion differs from your kid's/Students, do you think your parent's opinion differs from yours? How would teacher's and coach's opinions align with yours?</p>

<p>I’ll ask my son about this. But the excellent school he will probably attend - with a large unsolicited scholarship - is a school where he spent 5-7 minutes with an auditor/auditors who neither looked at him nor talked to him. This is a crazy, crazy business.</p>

<p>PART I
I can answer this as my son and I have spoken a lot about it. The audition where he walked out feeling horrible about himself and the audition (and did not get into the program) was a much worse feeling than the others. His favorite auditions, which included other programs he also did not get into, btw, he felt much better about, even when he got rejected later. He felt like he was given a fair chance in every program except for 2, and those were the ones who treated him like he did not matter (one much worse than the other). </p>

<p>PART II
Our opinion would not change, I do not think that it would not hurt any program to be gracious. These are still kids, and yes, they are in a field where their egos are going to be constantly trampled on, but the 5 - 10 minutes they spend with the professors should not be a horrible experience. For most, that is all the interaction they will ever have with these programs but the way they are made to feel (good and bad!) can last a lot longer. Why tear down these kids so early in the process? And while I would hate to base my whole opinion on these 10 minutes, it is hard to separate sometimes. There would have to be some serious soul searching…just as they are judging our kids on those 10 minutes, so are we, them.</p>

<p>PART III
I am pretty sure my child agrees. These professors are going to be a huge part of our children’s life for the next 4 years. I expect the program to be challenging and tough but not cruel. There will be plenty of time for cruel people in their lives, I am afraid. And the professionals in my children’s lives agree with this feeling.</p>

<p>I’ve been surprised how kind most of the auditors have been, honestly. We’d heard stories about mind games and people trying to break your concentration and people not listening and none of that happened. I think given that it’s a scramble where 1-10% of the kids get into any given situation, it’s pretty humane. Or maybe we were just lucky. </p>

<p>But yes, I’d prefer people be civil in general and especially to kids. I’m sure it’s exhausting auditioning all those people, and probably everyone has good days and bad days, but there’s no upside in being mean.</p>

<p>Hard to say actually. </p>

<p>The audition our D thought she bombed (and was super depressed about) was the one she got accepted to and the one she got all the accolades from (and called back all the way through) she didn’t get. </p>

<p>I’m pretty sure, cold-shoulder, mean-spirited “no’s” are worst. At least you feel good about yourself when they show an interest.</p>

<p>Can’t really relate to the questions, but I have to say that re: part I, my son did not experience scenarios 1 or 3. He did have an audition where the auditor kept his eyes on the stopwatch for S’s first two monologues, but then looked up and said “Well, I want to hear more!” and talked with him for quite awhile, then asked him to do a third monologue, which was not timed. That was an acceptance. Only one auditor was negative, and that was a rejection; he also had an auditor who was very engaged, spoke with him for awhile about his monologues, and then said “you’re not the type we’re looking for, but I liked your work.” Several gave him “adjustments” but were very positive and energetic about it, not negative or harsh. Overall, regardless of outcome, the good auditions were those where my son felt “heard” and as though the auditor had really taken the time to pay attention. Seven out of eight auditions were like that.</p>

<p>Oh well. I wouldn’t know what it feels like not to get rejections, so I can’t relate to a lot of the posts I see either, Times3.</p>

<p>I asked my son about this. He says he would rather know from the outset that he didn’t interest the auditors. This is within the context of not getting in to two schools that were especially nice to him at the audition. Also, as I mentioned before, the school he plans to attend didn’t have an auditor who seemed interested, but must have loved him because he was admitted with a scholarship.</p>