<p>We have been really fortunate to have some difficult choices to make in the next few weeks. My boys were accepted to their 2 dream schools, Yale and Princeton, at which we would not qualify for aid- but my husband has saved for this and despite the recent economic dip would still be able to handle the tuition, but not quite as comfortably as we could 1 year or so ago but still no debt.</p>
<p>Then yesterday- the school I always held out for, Duke which is much closer, chose both boys for 2 incredible scholarships that would cover everything and summers and many other wonderful opportunities.</p>
<p>We have made our plans already to go visit the other 2 schools on their accepted students days, and plan to keep them, as both my husband and I believe that they should have experienced all 3 so they don't ever doubt their decision.</p>
<p>They went to Duke for a weekend, enjoyed it, said they could picture themselves there, met great staff, prof, and students. I believe that the biggest concerns are "prestige" we are from NC so Duke does suffer a bit of a stigma, level of academics, grad school for 1 (Eastern European/Slavic/Public Policy) or the other who could be pre-law, pre-med, international relations- rather undecided but well rounded enough to pursue any but will definatley pursue some sort of graduate education which the money that we saved for undergrad would be available for them or they would be on their own if they chose not to take the undergrad scholarships.</p>
<p>Besides just the "no-brainer" side of it (my husband's and my opinion)- what are the tangibles that can help them make this decision?</p>
<p>They have asked me to ask you for your help, I know that there are great threads about this for UNC/Princeton but S1 really needs your thoughts about his decision specifically.</p>
<p>I’m not sure what is the “stigma” of Duke. Do you mean the recent rape allegations against the sports members? Or, the ridiculous false accusations by the accusor? Other than that, I don’t know of a stigma. In fact, I think that bruhaha has passed from most peoples’ memory. I wouldn’t even consider that in my college decision.
I would look at it as an investment. Pure and simple. What is the cost spent to get a job, vs the earnings of that job. Money intended for a gift that doesn’t have to be spent now, could continue to grow interest and be used later if a student continues on to grad school. Based on the little you’ve told us, I lean toward grabbing the scholarships at Duke, and keeping more money in your pocket- at least for now.</p>
<p>For sure, Yale and Princeton are fantastic schools.</p>
<p>But you are talking about the difference between zero dollars and almost half a million dollars. How rich are you, that you can afford over four hundred thousand dollars? What else could you do over with four hundred thousand dollars? Would your boys consider going to Duke and contributing one hundred thousand dollars to charity, thus ending up more than three hundred thousand dollars to the good?</p>
<p>On edit: I agree with younghoss that there is no stigma associated with Duke.</p>
<p>I would tell you to tell them to go with the school that;</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Brings happiness at the very mention of the name.</p></li>
<li><p>They could picture themselves most at.</p></li>
<li><p>Least of a financial burden</p></li>
<li><p>Academic opportunities are the most present and has great social activities. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>When this is done I’m pretty sure they will have a decision. My opinion is they might just end up going to their dream school.</p>
<p>Son received a better financial aid package from Pton than he did from Duke.</p>
<p>He picked Pton.</p>
<p>Had Duke given him the better package he would have gone to Duke.</p>
<p>We too are from NC, waving hi neighbor! And I do know what you mean about Duke’s image here.</p>
<p>No one else sees it. We are just weird about it. Remember EVERYONE wants to go to Carolina or heck, be a Pirate!! Duke is spoken about is whispers in the halls…</p>
<p>Son would have loved to stay here and drink his sweet tea all day, but nope didn’t turn out that way. He did spend a summer doing cancer research at the med school so he does love the campus, the people, med research opportunities, the weather and all that sweet tea!</p>
<p>He has done another summer at Harvard’s med school campus and liked it as well, but for different reasons than Duke. Liked the surrounding area (city with the charlie card) but liked Duke’s campus better.</p>
<p>He is spending this summer at Yale so will see how he likes that.</p>
<p>I’m just hoping he comes home for grad school.</p>
<p>If your son’s opt for Duke they will have plenty of money left for any grad school they wish and pton is much colder than what we are used to.</p>
<p>My son would say take Duke’s offer and don’t look back. He loves, loves his school but Duke’s offer is fabulous. Take it.</p>
<p>Oh thanks- I don’t know how the “stigma” thing with Duke and North Carolinians started or what the reason is - we aren’t originally from here and my husband and I have loved it before the Danny Ferry years (for those who aren’t bb fans that’s a really long time!) But for some reason the locals are very single minded about Chapel Hill. So the “stigma” would be very much a local thing and “stigma” isn’t really the right word.</p>
<p>I think they - really only S1 one is looking for re-assurance that the opportunities at Duke will only help him with his future plans and that not having the PY name attached to his undergrad won’t hold him back from the top med or law schools.</p>
<p>I don’t think a name in and of itself should be important- I for one have never been impressed with somebody or an institution because of their name- </p>
<p>and no…we aren’t that rich and like I said they will need money for grad school so that money will be there for them- </p>
<p>Can anyone point me in the direction of the statistics from the law and med schools that show how the Duke kids do in the process?</p>
<p>I’m from the West Coast and I have not heard of any “stigma” attached to Duke’s name. In my circles, Duke is well regarded as a fine research school, and some of my former biotech labmates proudly wore their Duke sweatshirts to work (and that’s many years after graduating). If it saves you half a million $$, and your kids like the place, go for it.</p>
<p>And so everyone understands- this is not for me…it’s a no-brainer for me. We love Duke and I agree that nationally it is a highly respected school- in NC though they don’t get the respect they deserve.</p>
<p>The question is not for my husband or I. We agree it is a no-brainer- plus I want my kids in state for their undergrad. However- it is a choice we have given to them as we have always said this is the money we saved for your schooling use it for undergrad or grad we don’t care. (even though we really sort of do) </p>
<p>I feel it has to be their decision - they need to “own” the decision. S1 is just looking for I think reassurance from other than his parents.</p>
<p>Duke and NC - yes stigma. Dook is not a “southern” school. It is a “northern” school populated by rich, white, Yankee kids that is located in the south. Hence - there is little love lost between most NCians and Dook.</p>
<p>Chapel Hill is for the most part - homegrown NC talent. </p>
<p>But forget all that - forget the “stigma”. There are many more plusses and minuses.
I think the decision needs to be a family decision. Get everyone on board if possible. Think long and hard about finances. What to do with the college fund?
How will you handle it if one chooses Duke and one chooses Yale?</p>
<p>Congratulations on raising fine young men, they can’t go wrong with either of their choices.</p>
<p>1) Medical school in particular is a little different from law or graduate school - it matters very little where you went to medical school, it is more important how you do in med school… therefore he shouldn’t worry whether Duke will or won’t get him into a “good” med school, that is actually irrelevant, he should be more concerned about whether or not he will get the education he wants from Duke (I think he’ll be fine, but that is my prejudice)
2) Harvard Law or grad school will be quite happy to talk to a top Duke graduate.
3) How does he feel about sports? Duke does have that dimension of big time basketball that is missing in the Ivy League schools.</p>
<p>I know someone who turned down Yale SCEA(or whatever it was 4 years ago) for Duke, s/he has been happy as a clam, ALTHOUGH, this person is in engineering, and that had some impact on the decision - yale isn’t the world’;s greatest engineering school. Duke is very well respected, and will prepare either of them well for the future.</p>
<p>Now if there is a specific program or prof at Yale or Princeton, that is different… of course you can say the same for Duke. The med school at Duke is big time, more influential on the undergrad campus than Yale’s is on Yale undergrad - lots of research opps for undergrad, they need lots of underlings to “tend the experiments” so to speak, so if one of your sons is interested in research, he should consider that. I may get flamed for that, but I’ve seen science on both sides - interviewed for residency at both places, and DD visited for undergrad at both Yale and Duke, so I’m not completely making it up.</p>
<p>Prestige could be a factor for pre-med, pre-law, and possibly Public Policy if they want JFK school of gov. Many law schools are hard to get into without either a prestigous (or well known to be highly challenging) undergrad alma mater or ridiculously high GPA and test scores from other (less prestigous) schools</p>
<p>I would say go where you feel more at home and put aside the negligible prestige difference. My son is at Yale but he doesn’t love it and probably would have been happier at a “less prestigious” school like Tufts or Wesleyan where the people are a little less buttoned-down. </p>
<p>There is no law school that wouldn’t take a Duke grad, so if he feels more comfortable there, can see himself there, that’s what I’d choose.</p>
<p>Oh thanks- and Cangel that is exactly the type of information we need. I see these Duke scholarships and the perks that come with them as huge door openers that would be hard to come by at other schools-</p>
<p>I think being able to have your summers for travel, service, research instead of working at the A&P as incredible opportunities, I think knowing that your grad school- be it med, law or PHD would be enough, I think the incredible faculty that has already taken the time with them is a special opportunity…I think being a few hours from home for undergrad is kind of nice…</p>
<p>But being a rebellious soul myself, I know they have to make the choice. I just want to make sure they have the facts. I think S2 has resolved the issue in his mind but S1 has not. They know that they can go their separate ways- and they are very independent of one another anyhow.</p>
<p>A “tangible” for me is half a million dollars. I am no fan of Duke or NC but that only based on ACC basketball (Go Terps! Well, maybe next year). Seriously, I would encourage my child to go to Duke and I would use some of the unspent money on him (maybe a travel opportunity to further an interest, or down payment on a first house, or grad school tuition, or a start on a grandchild’s college fund, so many possibilities).</p>
<p>And Congrats to both of your sons on their fantastic acceptances! They will have great options at whatever schools they choose.</p>
<p>I would take a hard look at the academic differences between Duke, Yale and Princeton for S1 and S2. I know that Princeton is especially strong in Public Policy (Woodrow Wilson School) and that Slavic languages are also strong there. I don’t know, however, how that stacks up against Duke. </p>
<p>I don’t think that the Duke vs Yale/Princeton degrees will hurt in terms of graduate education, provided they get good grades. I am a Princeton alum- however, if grad school is definitely in their future, I would be inclined to go with the Duke offer.</p>
and they are very independent of one another anyhow.</p>