I wouldn’t tell her that. Some kids would say yes to that. This is a kid with a big dose of magical thinking. I wouldn’t blow thei college fund that way.
Seems like it would be a whole lot better to end up at Smith than to start there!
What struck me most about OP’s post was the disconnect between these two colleges. An issue to think about–will a student who had the credentials for Smith be well served at a far less selective school like Seton Hall, and will a Seton Hall education be worth the cost, even with good aid (considering travel expenses, etc.) vs. a college in the D’s home country? Just because the young woman found an affordable college in the US doesn’t mean it’s an appropriate choice for her.
That’s up to the student, isn’t it?
What does she want to major in?
I would like to think that this is something that was considered months ago, and that students are not applying to colleges that are not apporpriate choices for them.
You know…very often international students do not seek out affordable options for study in this country. This student did. Seton Hall turned out to be affordable for her family. It’s very fortunate for this student that this happened. Too often, the cost of attending the accoted colleges are out of reach entirely for international students.
I say…terrific that this family found an affordable option.
Smith is NOT that affordable option.
But Seton Hall is.
Some aspects of the college app process is not easily understandable, which is why people (especially young people) make poor assumptions.
There wouldn’t be “cheaper schools” to transfer to unless she went to some private school ranked WAY BELOW Seton Hall that happens to have cheaper tuition (or an OOS public that has a COA of $35k). She would NOT likely get any aid AT ALL.
She is thinking that as a Smith freshman applying to transfer, other schools are going to say, “wow, we want her because she’s from Smith, and we’ll give her a scholarship to transfer.”
Uh…no. Schools really only care about incoming freshmen… They don’t give a rip about transfers except as “warm paying bodies” who will come and fill up some empty seats. And, they won’t care AT ALL that she’s coming from Smith…or from Mars.
I would also automatically veto based on this-she knew you’d say no to this school and she snuck around behind your back and did it anyway, hoping she could pressure you into letting her go (and thus really putting yourself in a financial bind, from what you say).
This says to me that all of her other “reasoning” is invalid-she’ll tell you anything to get there, because she’s only thinking of what she wants. As Mary Poppins likes to say-piecrust promises; easily made, easily broken. One she gets in to Smith, you’ll never get her out without really escalating the entire drama.
Better to nip this drama in the bud right now and have her start thinking like an adult.
Curious…why did she not tell you that she was applying to Smith? Had the school been previously ruled out because of cost?
I agree completely with the post above that she’ll say anything to get there, and once she’s there, she’ll insist that it’s "just right for her, " and that she’d be miserable if she had to leave.
She’s playing you.
To give the OP’s daughter a little credit, Smith was the one school we looked at that seemed to want nothing to do with the family. I felt excluded in all interactions my daughter had with them. She was on a weekend visit and called to ask me to come on the tour, but no one else from the school wanted to answer a question and I was told that the student was to lead the process. I was staying at a local hotel, but I’d not been included in any of the schedule for her, not even the public tours or athletic events. The coach knew I was there because we had to travel 1000 miles to visit, and my daughter was 16. The coach met with ‘us’ for about 3 minutes and then turned D over to a weekend host.
If anything, I came away with the impression my daughter was too young for this school. The students seemed older and despite the milk and cookies tradition, I think they expect total independence. Fine for Gloria Steinem, not so great for my 16 year old. I liked many things about the school, liked the town, but it wasn’t a good match for our family.
I think she took a chance thinking her grades and profile would be a good fit. It was naive of her but she believed that her profile would led to merit scholarships. It has but not enough unfortunately.
Lots of kids apply to schools that don’t work out in the end…due to finances. It happens.
At least she has another affordable option.