Please advise, don't know what to do, urgent

I am a parent of a graduating senior. She is a strong student and managed to get into Smith with nearly $30k in financial aid. It still leaves us with a balance of $38k. That together with the extra expenses thrown in would put it over $450. It’s out of our reach, but she wants us to bite the bullet and do it for a year. She then wants to transfer out and look for a cheaper school. She believes as a Smith transfer student it will give her a better chance at getting into another school.

My problem is that I am not convinced that it’s a sure thing she will get the financial aid needed to continue at a new school. I would like her to take the offer she got from Seton Hall and complete her degree there. With the generous scholarship it’s way more affordable. I don’t want to run the risk of her not getting financial aid as a transfer student because then she will have to leave the US because she is an international student. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

You are right to be concerned. Transfers might not get the same aid as freshmen.

Did she get a merit scholarship from a school? Those are not available to transfers in the same way as they are for freshmen either.

Did she get accepted to Mount Holyoke and is it affordable? It seems to be a popular choice.

What other acceptances and aid packages does she have?

95 percent of the people on this board will tell you to take the cheaper option—for good reason. Bullet is right.

I’m sorry I missed the part about Seton Hall. Yes, if she has a generous merit offer it makes sense to go there and if she was absolutely miserable she could transfer later.

Did you give her a budget? If you can’t afford Smith then that’s that. Did she know it might not be affordable?

Yes for international students the schools that give enough need based aid are even fewer.

This will not happen. For two reasons:

b** The generous merit awards that would be available to her as an incoming freshmen are generally not available to transfer students, so her only options would be

(a) full-pay at a state school;

(b) a need-based aid award comparable to Smith’s at a school that meets full need (and there are very few “meet full need” schools for transfer students, and they’re ridiculously competitive!); or

(c) community college.

b** She’s not going to want to do any of these after attending Smith for a year!

If she has an affordable option, she should take it . . . or take a gap year and apply to other schools that are affordable that she’d be willing to attend.

Actually, I missed the part about her being international . . . so forget about community college (or even in-state for a state school). She will have NO options as a transfer student.

She is an international student. Take the money offer at Seton Hall. The reality is…you do NOT want her to enroll at a school and have to leave because the finances don’t work out later.

Personally, I never would allow my child to enroll in any college from which she has immediate plans to transfer. That, in itself, tells me the wrong choice has been made. If you cannot afford Smith, why send her there in the first place? Woe to you if she discovers she loves Smith but is forced to leave due to money concerns. She should go to the college that wants her and to one you can afford.

Unfortunately Smith was the one school she applied to without our knowledge.

She probably has magical thinking and is hoping that once she starts at Smith she will somehow find a way to remain there. The transfer plan makes no sense. It’s not all that likely that she’ll get into a school that will offer better need based aid, and most merit scholarships are for freshmen, not transfers. I don’t think being a transfer from Smith will give her any edge at cheaper schools. Just say no to this ill considered plan. She should either take an affordable option that’s on the table now or take a gap year and apply to schools she’d be happy to attend that will give her the aid you need.

No. Just no.

“Smith was the one school she applied to without our knowledge.”

Then you can veto it based on that alone.

Her choices right now are to accept an affordable offer in the US, to accept an affordable offer in another country, or to take a gap year and reapply to a different list of colleges/universities that are likely to be affordable.

She will not get one cent of financial aid just because she’s transferring out of Smith. Her best chance of good financial aid is to apply as a freshman.

^^ This.

I don’t know where you live or what prompted you to consider U.S. colleges for your daughter, but I’d consider it all but miraculous that you have even one affordable option! If she doesn’t want to attend Seton Hall, then @happymomof1 laid out your daughter’s options very nicely: find an affordable college elsewhere or take a gap year. An unaffordable college is NOT an option!

Be the parent. Say no. This is a really terrible plan. She will tell you that you are ruining her life and her dreams, but it is a dead end for her. Tell her that her choices are a gap year to apply to more affordable schools, accept an affordable offer she has, or go to college in her home country. Stick to it, don’t give in.

I’m not sure why she would go to Smith and transfer. Could she defer. Maybe she could petition for more aid. Is Seton Hall she could love?

@Ducky312, regardless of whether she can love Seton Hall, it is a realistic option while Smith isn’t. What is deferring going to gain her? And she could petition for more aid, but shouldn’t expect enough to make covering for 4 years affordable.

Planning to transfer after a year at Smith is crazy. Where would she transfer to? Many scholarships and fin aid are not there for transfers.

Fully agree with other who have posted, especially @BethsMom. I think she is, fully or subconsciously, hoping that Smith will work out and that she will be able to stay. Even if she is not thinking that, she likely WILL be thinking that after the hoopla of freshman orientation, friendships of first semester, and everyone talking about returning and all their plans as sophomores.If she likes Smith even a bit, she will want to stay. And to her to have applied without your knowledge, my guess is that she really wants to be there.

Tell her no. You will not pay for Smith nor will you co-sign for loans. You all simply cannot afford it, not even for one year. Let her decide what to do then: Seton Hall or whatever other AFFORDABLE options you have.

Even if you allow her 1 year plan, it will likely backfire. Transfer students rarely get great aid. Maybe she cannot process or believe that right now, so I think you can end the discussion with “We cannot afford Smith, not even for 1 year. I’m sorry”. Done.

We always want our kids to have what they want and be happy. But parenting and reality dictate that we cannot and should not make some things work out the way they want them to.

Thanks to all for replying to my post. I really appreciate it. We are standing firm and will simply say no. I just needed to make sure that her plan of transferring out after a year was feasible. By the looks of things it’s not.

Oh she can transfer out of Smith…but she won’t have an affordable place to transfer TO. That is the issue.

She received an excellent offer from Seton Hall…and that will not come her way as an international transfer student at all…anyplace.

Tell her that after blowing through your college savings on a year of Smith, she could transfer/start over in your home country.

That would be a realistic option if she doesn’t like Seton Hall.