Please grade my essay (#19821?)

<p>Hey all, I'm taking my SAT's in January (3 weeks..) and I haven't really had anyone grade my essay since Kaplan 3 months back (I got a 12 on the final test..but they probably fluffed the scores). I was wondering if CC could please take some time out of their schedule and grade my essay? It would be greatly appreciated.</p>

<p>The prompt is from the Gruber's book, which actually has weird prompts because the whole prompt is a question, not just the first line. Oh well, here goes: </p>

<p>"One of the main purposes of education is to get students excited about the "process" behind problem solving instead of rushing into an answer and just concentrating on the final result. Often students can extract something from a problem that leads to the answer. Students can relax and think more clearly when they concentrate on the game or the wonderful process, if you will, thinking"
-Adapted from G. Gruber, "A Superlative Guide to the Hows and Wise," Omni Magazine</p>

<h2>Assignment: Do you agree with the above quote? In many cases is the problem solver concerned just about getting the answer, and not about concentrating on the "process" to get the answer? Do you agree that by not having faith in the process, he or she often does not arrive at the solution?</h2>

<pre><code> "The journey is more important than the destination." The road in this case, like Gruber mentioned, is the same with learning. Current students caught up in the importance of grades and results often mistakenly think the goal of learning is to achieve excellence in the form of marks. They overlook the process of learning in their rush for products.

I'm currently attending an IB (International Baccalaureate) High School. During the Freshman Orientation two years ago, the counselor mentioned the importance of learning for the sake of learning, not for any ephemeral and fleeting rewards. Throughout my years in high school up to today, there has been a constant emphasis on learning from the process, with the result only as a side product. In my Theory of Knowledge class this year, when we were assigned quizzes or tests, it is very rare that any of us get less than a 70. This is because the teacher believes that there are no wrong answers. As long as a student puts something down and justifies it, then it the response deserves at least partial credit. Justification is praised as the most important step in problem solving because it shows the problem solver's knowledge of the problem and what he gained form it. Countless students are simply reciting formulas and plugging numbers into their calculators for results. However, when asked to justify or explain the process, they're stumped. IB teaches me to value the experience, similar to what Gruber says in his quote.

Karl Marx once stated that a man's work is a reflection of himself. To succeed, one must love his work and have faith in it. Conversely, one who is unemployed is therefore empty: he has nothing to express himself with. This is the same with problem solvers. To arrive at the solution, the problem solver must have faith in the process. He, firstly, must believe it works. Only then can he convince others that he is right. If from the start the didn't even think he was right, then any answer he gets is pointless because the problem solver himself doesn't even believe it.

In today's world, the general populace is obsessed with achieving results in the fastest ways possible. People no longer appreciate the why, but are simply more focused with the how. When they only concentrate on getting the results in the most efficient manner, they often lose something in the process. They lose the knowledge and the importance of the journey. In a mad dash to the destination, most people simply forget the learning experience and don't carry anything with them into the future. All they know is that the square root of 16 is 4. They don't know why.
</code></pre>

<hr>

<p>That's it CC! I tried to add a more personal touch to this one, not sure if graders will like that (read: first example with IB). Thanks for your time!</p>

<p>I hate to do this, but bump =X</p>

<p>I'd say you'd get an 11 or 12</p>

<p>Could you/anyone give any advice ,improvements, flaws, etc.? Thanks :)</p>

<p>11 or 12. Very good job.</p>

<p>There's little to correct. It's different from my essay style, but we're all unique :) . I think its a highly competent piece of quick writing.</p>

<p>What essay style do you use/prefer, Gryffon?</p>

<p>That sounds like 10-11 to me</p>

<p>What am I missing/doing wrong, Ivan?</p>

<p>Nothing , i always say 10-11 when think that it<code>s perfect ;)It won</code>t hurt you but expect a 10 and get a 12 ,but vice versa .... :D
And sth to ask you - did you write all this in 25 minutes ?It seems huge,and i would need 3 pages ,not 2 ...</p>

<p>Yeah I wrote it in 25. It's a page and a half on regular college lined paper, I don't know what that equates to on SAT paper.</p>

<p>11 or 12 for sure. Good job!</p>

<p>11 or 12, very well written. I would make the intro paragraph more clear with the thesis in the front. PS that is a horribly written prompt, has Gruber company even seen an SAT prompt?</p>

<p>Yeah the Gruber book is really weird...him quoting himself is also kinda hmm..oh well.</p>

<p>Hmm yeah, I was taught that one should start the essay/intro with a hook, so I just put my quote there first. How do you recommend me do it? Start with:</p>

<p>Like Gruber said, learning is a process that stresses the process more than the goal.</p>

<p>then go into the quote? How would the transition be made?</p>

<p>I think your essay is well written and I do like the quote in the intro. </p>

<p>There's a little problem with the verb tenses in this sentence: "In my Theory of Knowledge class this year, when we were assigned quizzes or tests, it is very rare that any of us get less than a 70. "</p>

<p>Considering that sentence itself and the rest of the paragraph (which is in the present tense), you might want to reword as follows: "In my Theory of Knowledge class this year, when we ARE assigned quizzes or tests, it is very rare that any of us get less than a 70." </p>

<p>I confess I didn't get where you're going with the Karl Marx paragraph. </p>

<p>I do like how you referred back to the original prompt (Gruber) at the end of the first paragraph. I think it's good to do that somewhere in an essay, and sometimes it's just the thing to use in a conclusion.</p>

<p>Overall, great job, especially in 25 minutes.</p>

<p>I think I was trying to answer the second part of the prompt (which was awkward because there's usually only 1 problem)</p>

<p>"Do you agree that by not having faith in the process, he or she often does not arrive at the solution?"</p>