<p>Please Rea &offer advice... This is my first essay in 25 minutes :</p>
<p>ASSIGNMENT: Should ordinary people be considered heroes, or should the tern hero be reserved for extraordinary people?</p>
<pre><code>The word hero can be proved in many ways, from an everyday firefighter to those who fight for our country in Afghanistan. However, heroes are extraordinary people who escape their ordinary shells once in a while and show their selfless side which defines them as a hero. This is evident in history, literature, and personal experiences which prove that there are heroes among us.
After the terrorist attack at the World Trade Center in New York, many firefighters risked their lives in order to save others in danger. The firefighters were essentially ordinary people, but during this devastating tragedy, they saved others while putting their own lives at risk. Even though these people were ordinary people with a family and a job, they gave up their own safety and welfare to save others, which verifies extraordinary actions and enforces the fact that these ordinary people are actually heroes.
In To Kill a Mockingbird , Atticus Finch is a father of two and a lawyer. He is an ordinary man in a town full of stereotyping American people. However, Atticus chooses to defend a black man who is convicted of rape, and he receives a lot of controversy for this. Atticus is an ordinary man, but when he defends someone who needs help, he becomes a hero. His act is extraordinary because usually one would not give up his or her reputation to save another. Therefore, he is deemed a hero.
Our everyday lives also hold heroes in ordinary people. For example, our parents are basically our only caregivers for food, drink, care, and shelter. They are heroes in the way that even though they are ordinary, they deal with and care for us, even though we barely show our gratefulness. They have extraordinary traits which define them as heroes in our lives.
Heroes are not always those who perform fantastic acts like donating millions of dollars, but those who are ordinary but have extraordinary traits that prove them as heroes. Heroes can be anyone from history to literature to everyday life, but essentially we are all heroes at heart.
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<p>I think this could use a bit of work. You need to define “hero” in your own words before you can move on to stating your examples.</p>
<p>Also, is this a school assignment or a college supplement? Because the way you approach the two are a bit different. </p>
<p>And your ending is kind of cheesy. :]</p>
<p>BUUUUMP, can i get a grade? I know this is kind of bad [understatement of the year] but I’d like to know what I would get.</p>
<p>Hi idonteatsushi,</p>
<p>I would give you a 8-10.</p>
<p>A few problems showed up as i was reading your essay.</p>
<p>The introduction was a tiny bit unclear. From what your essay says, i believe it’s not suppose to say “heroes are extraordinary people who escape their ordinary shells once in a while and show their selfless side” but probably something like “heroes are ordinary people who escape their indifferent shells once in a while and show their selfless side.” I ttemporarily made me think that you we saying that heroes are only the extraordinary. Other than that it was a good intro. You really took care of stating the obvious of your topic to the judges, as you’re suppose to do that on SAT essays.</p>
<p>The first body paragraph was great. Your chose a headline that every person in the US know and really brought out the hero in the people who helped rescue.</p>
<p>You chose a really good topic for the second body paragraph. Atticus Finch is a classic character in an era during the racial-tensions. He, by all means, should be considered a hero. You told us that he is a hero. But you failed to glorify the position he took to fully face the dangers and risks of defending a black man. You should have included more of his personal sacrifices for the wellbeing of others.</p>
<p>The last supporting par. was good. You can include a little bit more information and description for a “better lengthed” paragraph (it looks a tiny bit short).</p>
<p>You took a different route with the conclusion. You didn’t really summarize the whole essay. But rather, you put out there a statement that ends the essay well. I think it works in this case.</p>
<p>Over though, i believe you should use more SAT words. If you develop your points a little bit more, you’re there, because you already passed the stage of choosing good supporting points - and you did.</p>
<p>I hope this helped!</p>
<p>If you have time, please grade my essay! I also need to prepare for the upcoming SAT. I may have a lot to say, but many times, i don’t apply the tips i give out when i write…lol
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/1199145-grade-my-essay-i-can-grade-yours.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/1199145-grade-my-essay-i-can-grade-yours.html</a></p>
<p>THANK YOU you helped me so much! :D</p>
<p>glad to help. thanks for ur help too :]</p>