<p>Hi. I'm an international student and the Jan 2014 SAT will be my first attempt. This is the first essay i've written. Please help me grade it :) Constructive comments will be appreciated!</p>
<p>Question:
Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>My answer:
When one is given the responsibility and independence to take charge and do things one's own way, one tends to be able to achieve and accomplish more. Several instances that reflect my stand include the story of the Great Gatsby, Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook, and Aung San Suu Kyi's political struggle. </p>
<p>When people are allowed to take their fate into their own hands and make something great out of it, people, more often than not, are able to achieve more. One reason can be that they want to prove themselves capable and therefore, they will work extra hard to accomplish their desired goals. Jay Gatsby, in the Great Gatsby, had the power to turn his life around and achieve the American Dream. In this case, Gatsby did things his own way and knew that the onus was on him in order to become successful. When left to his own devices to achieve his dream, he worked hard and eventually succeeded. If he were to follow the advice of his father, who was not a successful man, he might not have been able to be where he eventually was. Thus, people do accomplish more when they are permitted to do things their way. </p>
<p>School dropouts, who defy the conventional route to success, sometimes get to do things their own way; some even make it big in future. Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, was one of those who took the unconventional route. Zuckerberg did things his way and founded one of the most impactful social media platform. He is considered to have accomplished more as he would not have the time to create Facebook if he did not drop out of college. Moreover, college would have limited his creativity and Zuckerberg would not have founded Facebook if he did things his own way. </p>
<p>In many Asian countries where males are superior to females, females who take things into their own hands tend to accomplish more. In Myanmar, for example, Aung San Suu Kyi abandoned traditional mindsets and stood up for her country in her own way. By doing so, she was able to change the social climate towards females and even make a positive difference for her nation. She is considered to have achieved more when she allowed herself to do things her own way, instead of allowing the country to determine what she had to do. </p>
<p>In essence, people indeed accomplish more when they are allowed to do things their own way. The abovementioned cases are but a few examples that support my stand. Ultimately, when given autonomy, people are often motivated to achieve what they planned and may even surpass their goals.</p>