Please help me out!

Pre-Med & Medical School Pre-Med Topics
1

<p>Ok guys just for a heads up, this is kind of going to be a long one.</p>

<p>Hey everyone, just to give a little background about myself:</p>

<p>Im in my third year at a small university in rural northern New York. My gpa after 2.5 years of undergrad is 2.73. Yea I know, it sucks. While I am doing better this semester, its not a 4.0. The reasons for this poor performance is a combination of family problems, depression for my lack of success, and the most important - failing to balance my social life.</p>

<p>In high school I was a pretty socially awkward kid, I didn't really have to much friends. When I came to college, I worked on myself to be more sociable and more socially calibrated, with that said I lost sight of what was important with this sudden increase in my social life.</p>

<p>Now I look back realize that I should have been so much more, I should have worked so much harder and I hate it that I put myself in this position, but there is no use crying over what I can't change, instead im trying to see how I can make the best of my future. The problem is that I don't know how. Everytime I sit down to study, I keep thinking about how screwed I am, my stupid 2.73 gpa. I know I can do well if I gave it my 100%, I guess I have no motivation to do so after my dismal performance and I can't let this continue.</p>

<p>If any of you have any advice on how to overcome this feeling, please help me out?</p>

<p>Second thing is that I have been suffering socially because of this. I have reduced the amount of time I go out etc, and I am doing a little better but as I said I have a long ways to go. Perhaps a change in environment would help me because I am generally unhappy at my university. Since I already started my third year there are only a handful of places that I can still transfer too. Among them, I am strongly leaning towards UBC in Vancouver since its biology program offers a plethora of courses and electives (far more than my current uni),pretty highly ranked, and has several other interesting courses and research options. I would have to spend an extra year but I could use that year as a GPA boost. The problem is that it is obviously in Canada and is different from American universities.</p>

<p>I was wondering if anyone knew the rigor of the microbiology program at UBC? How different is it from American university curriculum?</p>

<p>The third problem is that because of all this, I can't help but feel lonely when I see all of my other friends enjoying life, not having to deal with pressure. This is kind of going on a tangent here but ive noticed that I don't have the kind of value amongst my friends that I should. I want to be the fun, outgoing, funny guy that everyone wants to be around, lately its been tough to be like that around people and im doing my best. All of my friends are in relationships or getting some. I can't help but feel lonely when they tell me things about that or just see them. I wish I could experience that (Ive never been particularly good with women but im learning, partly because my strict Indian parents never approved of it in high school, so im light years behind after getting into that stuff coming into college as embarrassing as that sounds). There is a point to this, which is that its not helping while my friends are out there having fun while im stuck with studies unable to even focus and do well in it. I know I shouldn't let things like love and friends get in my way of doing well, but im human and I can't help but feel lonely especially since (despite my handle) ive never experienced things like love, sex, and being the "alpha male" amongst a group of friends.</p>

<p>If any of you have been where I have been socially, how did you put aside these feelings to focus on doing well in school? </p>

<p>Maybe its all in my head and I know that school should be my #1 priority, but I guess these things interfere with my ability to focus and I want to shut these feelings out. I know I come across sounding as a social loser whose desperate for love and sex, but thats really not the case. I have friends but I want to raise my social value amongst them, become a leader, the guy they all want to hang around and I can't do that if I feel like crap about myself. I want to experience things like love and romance since everyone else has but me, and I know that I deserve too but I can't if I feel like (once again)….crap about myself lol. There are people here who must do well in school, do research, volunteer, etc, yet have time to go out with a group of friends and get laid, or have a girlfriend. I want to be that guy. </p>

<p>If you guys have nothing important to say, or want to sarcastically mock me please leave that to people on SDN. If you guys have any input or any advice on how I can strengthen myself academically and socially I would really appreciate it. </p>

<p>Thanks.</p>

2

<p>Guys, I know all of you are just dying to help me out here, but please control yourselves! I can barely keep up with all of these responses……</p>

3

<p>1) I don’t want to say you’re screwed, but you’re a long ways from even considering DO school. With less than 2 years left, it’s unlikely that you’re going to reach a GPA that’s competitive for any allopathic schools. Depending on the math/# of credits/etc, even with a 4.0 from here out, you may not crack a 3.2 as an undergrad. Even with an extra year of nothing but 4.0 credits, a truly competitive GPA is barely likely. Any slips from that and it only gets tougher. Given the increasingly difficult jump from Carribean med schools to US residency programs, as well as the poor track record of even the best Carribean schools to begin with, I have an extremely difficult time saying this is the proper course for anyone. It does work for some people, but the risk is immense (eg., what if you don’t get a residency) and those schools are often extremely expensive.</p>

<p>2) Prestige is not going to get you anywhere at this point. Transferring is not an easy process and if you’re the type of person who needs that social outlet (which is perfectly okay), going some place where you don’t know anyone may not make the situation any better. On the other hand, if the distractions are simply too much, a change in atmosphere may be appropriate.</p>

<p>3) I’m not going to give you advice about your love life. Especially after considering your screen name.</p>

<p>4) It’s never wrong, even if your classes were going better than they have, to be looking at all your other career options. High schools in the US do a poor job of exposing students to all the different career options there are. If you looked at the career plans of graduating HS seniors you’d think that the only professions in the world were doctors, lawyers, teachers, engineers, nurses, and business people. Obivously this is not the case. Just because you (or, because you’re Indian, quite possibly your parents if they fit the stereotypes) can’t think of anything to be other than a doctor, doesn’t mean that’s the right career for you.</p>

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<p>1) Well thanks for being honest. I know that if I can show a dramatic change in my grade trend (upward obviously), that would come into consideration as well? I mean there are people on mdapplicants who get in with gpa’s around mine. It may not be schools like Harvard but I don’t really care about that at this point.</p>

<p>2) I want to transfer because I get to spend an extra year there. That’s one more year of grades which could potentially help me out, in addition to other things. Yea having a social outlet is important for me but I can make one wherever I go.</p>

<p>3) Huh? Wth does my screen name have to do with anything?</p>

<p>4) Thanks but I do want to be a doctor, and not just because im Indian. My parents actually persuaded not to go into medicine, this was my choice. I messed up when I came to college. My lack of social life in high school and sudden increase of it in college made me lose sight of my goals. As I continued to do poorly I lost confidence in myself and gained a fear of failure. Now I can’t focus anymore because whenever I sit down to work, my mind immediately brings up how much ive failed, how screwed I am, what will happen if I continue to fail, how lonely I am, all of these negative thoughts which cause me to procrastinate, and cause me to fail again. Its a self defeating cycle and I don’t know how to break out of it. I know medicine is for me. I know I can be a great doctor if I can find a way to get the motivation to achieve my goals. I worked at a cancer hospital in India over the summer shadowing doctors and getting some clinical exposure. After that experience, I really can’t think of anything else I want to do with my life.</p>

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<p>Again, I cannot stress this enough (to you or any other pre-med)…just because you can’t think of anything else, doesn’t mean that being a doctor is the right career for you.</p>

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<p>That doesn’t help me out in anyway whatsoever. If I can’t be anything else but a doctor, and your saying I can’t be a doctor, then your implying that I should remain unemployed for the rest of my life. As long as you pay for all of my expenses and bills, Im alright with that.</p>

<p>If anyone else actually wants to address my post with advice as to what I can do to get rid of my fear of failure and to get back on track academically and socially to turn things around, I would really appreciate it.</p>

<p>Hopefully someone went through this and got out of it fine, help me out people! </p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

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<p>Beside the GPA and social issues, you also have an attitude problem. In some cases, one year of 2.73 may be salvageable. A GPA of 2.73 after 2.5 years is kind of late. Some pre-meds have to forgo their social life in order to have a better chance to get into medical school. At this point, you need to get your priority straight.</p>

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<p>I think that those rural new york winters are getting to you OP, as BDM highlighted you are boxing yourself into the idea that you MUST BE a doctor. Unless you pull off your sock and on the sole of your foot is a big birthmark that happens to say ‘Born to be a doctor’ then you are not a person who has no alternative than being a doctor. Perhaps you should consider other medical professions or focus on DO schools since name doesn’t matter to you. Physicians assistant work, nurse practitioning, etc all have many of the medical service aspects that you are seeking. If you really can’t think of anything else to do, take some time after college and get a job. There has to be at least one job out there that interests you, if not fulfills you. Save some money up, maybe do a post-bach or masters, then apply later if you truly can’t give up your desire to be a doctor after having lived in the real world where not wanting to be a doctor/lawyer/CEO isn’t contrary to the environment…</p>

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<p>Well I plan to transfer out of here so that I can spend an extra year in university. Im definitely taking some time off after school so that I can pursue other things (research, do a masters etc.).</p>

<p>Well if I wanted career advice, or other options besides wanting to be a doctor I probably wouldn’t be posting on here asking these things. I thought this would be common sense but apparently not. Either I can ■■■■■ out of this and end up with a job that will always leave a part of me wanting to be a doctor and as a result ultimately unhappy, or I can figure this out, keep going, and do this which is what I plan to do. So if anyone has any info on what I can do specifically in regards to things around I would very much appreciate it. Otherwise don’t tell me what I can’t do.</p>

<p>Yes I do need to get my priorities straight, thats a hard thing for me to do, but very easy for others. The problem I have is that whenever I sit down to work, I start to think about how much ive messed up my gpa, how screwed I am for med school, and it prevents me from working thus I get screwed over even more. Classic fear of failure that results in me not having the motivation to do work because Im afraid that I don’t think I have what it takes. I know that I can do this, but for some reason can’t stop doubting myself. What is the best and quickest way to get over this feeling?</p>

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<p>Start working. And then keep at it.</p>

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<p>There is not a quick and easy solution to get over fears.
Stop worrying about “Oh gosh, my entire life is over if I don’t get into Med School. I’ll fail the MCAT. My life is going to be oh so miserable if I don’t become a doctor. What will I do??”</p>

<p>You’re putting so much unnecessary weight on yourself that you’re not looking at different options, and that unnecessary weight leads to:</p>

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<p>Last time I checked, there were other jobs out there for those who don’t become doctors.
If you don’t try, then you will never know; however, if you tried and didn’t get it, then try it again.
Are you not learning from your mistakes? Also, how would you know if you’d be unhappy with a different job besides becoming a doctor? You’ve never tried it, so you’ll never know. Oh wait, you’re afraid of trying new things because of your fear of failure.</p>

<p>I have a few words for you.</p>

<p>1) Get your priorities straightened out. Your university/college should have a counseling AND career center to talk to. Obviously, all information is kept confidential. No one will know you went there unless you tell them.</p>

<p>2) Learn from your mistakes and stop worrying about what you don’t know. If all you do is worry, then there’s no room for learning. Stop doubting yourself and do the work.</p>

<p>3) You’re going to get rejected in life whether it be from colleges, jobs, friends, boy/girlfriends, etc. Get over it and at least try.</p>

<p>4) There are other options out there besides becoming a doctor.
I don’t care how much you say you want to become a doctor now. You always have to keep your mind open to new ideas. To be honest, if you were a close-minded doctor, I wouldn’t want you operating on me. Yes, you say you’ll be unhappy. Yes, you say you’ll technically be “unemployed,” but do you really know that? I know some people who hated their careers when they first started it, but they ended up loving it after time passed. I also know people who have become doctors and changed careers halfway through their lives because they wanted to try something new. You can still be a person who helps others and not become a doctor.</p>

<p>I don’t want to seem harsh, but what Bigredmed was right. If you want to become a doctor, great. If not, then your entire life isn’t over. There are so many options out there that you’re not looking at because all you do is worry about NOT BECOMING A DOCTOR.
Do the work. Look at your grade. If you did well, then believe in yourself and keep working at it. If not, then get help and try again next time.</p>

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<p>"1) Get your priorities straightened out. Your university/college should have a counseling AND career center to talk to. Obviously, all information is kept confidential. No one will know you went there unless you tell them.</p>

<p>2) Learn from your mistakes and stop worrying about what you don’t know. If all you do is worry, then there’s no room for learning. Stop doubting yourself and do the work.</p>

<p>3) You’re going to get rejected in life whether it be from colleges, jobs, friends, boy/girlfriends, etc. Get over it and at least try.</p>

<p>4) There are other options out there besides becoming a doctor.
I don’t care how much you say you want to become a doctor now. You always have to keep your mind open to new ideas. To be honest, if you were a close-minded doctor, I wouldn’t want you operating on me. Yes, you say you’ll be unhappy. Yes, you say you’ll technically be “unemployed,” but do you really know that? I know some people who hated their careers when they first started it, but they ended up loving it after time passed. I also know people who have become doctors and changed careers halfway through their lives because they wanted to try something new. You can still be a person who helps others and not become a doctor.</p>

<p>I don’t want to seem harsh, but what Bigredmed was right. If you want to become a doctor, great. If not, then your entire life isn’t over. There are so many options out there that you’re not looking at because all you do is worry about NOT BECOMING A DOCTOR.
Do the work. Look at your grade. If you did well, then believe in yourself and keep working at it. If not, then get help and try again next time."</p>

<p>Your first three points are absolutely right. Ive got to learn to prioritize, stop worrying, and learn to deal with rejection. I can do this, at least now I have a direction. Thanks for the input.</p>

<p>As for your last point. I get it that there are other jobs besides medicine, but they aren’t for me. Its not about being close minded even though it may seem that way, its about achieving my goals. If I had a 3.8/39 mcat, none of you would be suggesting me to “look into other options.” I don’t have those stats, but that doesn’t mean I should give up. Your right that I haven’t tried other jobs but I know that no matter what else I do, unless I go to mars, a part of me will always regret that I was too stupid/lazy/etc to be a physician. Im not going to live with that for the rest of my life, I am going to achieve this.</p>

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<p>Well clearly you have the drive to continue your journey to become a physician.</p>

<p>So you don’t have the greatest GPA. Sometimes that is hard to change, as you’re (note: not your–“you are” contains an apostrophe) now finding out. What can you do?</p>

<p>Make the rest of your candidacy absolutely shine. Make it so that schools won’t even give a second thought to what your GPA might be–that you’re such a great catch, they have to have you regardless of your scores. It would probably take something incredible to get to that point, but in the words of my all-time favorite Renaissance man Michelangelo Buonarroti, “the greatest danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low and achieving our mark.”</p>

<p>Aim high. Find something incredible to do. Immerse yourself in the art of medicine–in working with others, shadowing compassionate physicians, volunteering in your community, finding solutions to bigger problems. </p>

<p>If the ONLY problem with your application is that your GPA is low, then you’ll probably be able to work past it. Now’s the time to focus on improving all those other aspects while prioritizing the academic/science side of medicine over your social life.</p>

<p>Looks like you’ve lots of work to do. Better hop to it and get off CC :slight_smile: !</p>

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<p>Wow Kirstin you’re so nice and positive… btw I’ll be contacting you about Mizzou sometime next semester because the site is meh…</p>

<p>Kamasutra…</p>

<p>First off, if you’re going to post on a forum and ask for advice be receptive to it. We have no idea who you are so the advice given is not biased or w/e against you its the simple truth. BDM, shades, and mmmcdowe have been posting here for years and have gone through the process either first hand or through their children. </p>

<p>Secondly, you say you want to be a doctor and you’ve come into college wanting to be a doctor, well then why does your GPA suck? If you really really wanted to be a doctor then that priority would have come first. Maybe you would try your best and not get straight A’s but if you would probably have been able to pull off a 3.5/28 which would make you competitive for US MD schools. </p>

<p>Instead you were out partying and you’re in deep sh** now. You’re not even competitive for DO schools and maybe for Caribbean, and I presume you have no extracurricular leadership/shadowing/research/normal premed EC’s because you focused on your social life. </p>

<p>Those other people who you see doing all the normal premed stuff and still getting laid, know how to balance and prioritize. </p>

<p>I am being mean but only because of your attitude, if you hadn’t been the ass you were so far I would still have told you the same stuff but in a nicer tone. And either way I am being realistic. </p>

<p>If you really want to be a doctor, give up your social life. Even if you pull 3.7’s you’re not going to have a high enough GPA but that upward trend will help but only if you have at least an A- average. B’s won’t cut it at this point. You’ll also need to prove that you’re actually interested in medicine by shadowing docs, volunteering in a clinical setting, join a club and get some sort of a leadership position, and try out research. Rather than doing 5 years of undergrad (unless you can’t graduate in time), a masters program might be wiser.</p>

<p>If you can do all that great. Your chances may still be slim and you may have to apply more than once. If you have the dedication, motivation, and passion to do all that but you should really explore other career choices.</p>

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<p>@ Kristin: Thank you for the input. I appreciate the encouragement and I know what I have to do, I just need to find the courage and the focus to get over my failures. For some people its easy, for others it takes a longer time to learn. Hopefully I will rebound from this. Thanks again kristin.</p>

<p>@ ChemDude: I never intended to be an @$$ to anyone on here, I don’t even know you people so why would I? I am receptive to the advice that was given on here so far - the advice that was about what I can do to turn things around, and getting over my fear of failure etc.</p>

<p>I never came into college with the intention of being a doctor. I wanted to get a PhD and do research but decided to into medicine a while later. I came into college a socially awkward kid from high school who had no friends, who did poorly in high school and got rejected by 8/10 schools. Once again I let those failures and rejections define who I was and I felt inadequate and incapable. I was depressed for my first two years of college though I didn’t show it. Now I realize that being depressed won’t get me anywhere, that I have to take action. Its late, yes, but better late than never.</p>

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<p>OP, what we have all been too polite to come out and say directly is that you are correct, if you had a 4.0 and a 40T we would not be telling you to begin considering other options. Due to work ethic or lack of intelligence, you have not demonstrated the ability to get into medical school. Further, if you can’t sit down to study and still have a social life, you aren’t likely to survive medicine even if you do get into a medical school (or go south of the border). You have demonstrated that you understand your problem and can not overcome it at this point, so I would recommend that if it is disturbing you as much as you have described that you consult with a psychologist/psychiatrist/counselor about this. They may be able to help you overcome this so that you can focus better and achieve your goals. There is nothing wrong with needing some outside help, many medical students go to counseling at one point or another during medical school.</p>

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<p>(ChemFreak: I know Mizzou inside and out. Don’t let the website deter you. I know it sucks but that doesn’t mean the program does! Would be happy to answer any questions for you)</p>

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<p>@mmmcdowe: I maybe stupid but that doesn’t mean that I have to sacrifice becoming something that I will always regret not becoming. I think my lack of success is due to my fear of failure than an actual lack of intelligence, but who knows, I may actually be stupid, but I don’t really care at this point. Overcoming fear of failure is something many people do, and I can do this too once I know how, I don’t need a psychologist - Im not that weak.</p>

<p>Yea a lot of you on here probably had it easy throughout your lives. Got that 4.0, partied, got laid, had great friends, had a good life. Good for you, but my life isn’t that simple. I came into college thinking I was a failure and ended up defining myself as one with my academic performance here too. At least for once in my life I want to be successful, I want to feel like a winner rather than a failure. This for me consists of getting into med school. At least let me achieve this to feel like I did something with my life, rather than be the stupid lonely and loveless guy that I am right now. So stop telling me to pursue other career options. Ive failed repeatedly in my life and im tired of failing.</p>

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