<p>I am turning to you for some advice because I have no idea what to do and I am really worried about my friend.</p>
<p>He is currently a freshman at Caltech. Last year he got into both Caltech and MIT. He had a lot of pressure to go to MIT because it's more prestigious, but he followed his gut and ended up at Caltech. I thought things are going well and he is happy when recently he told me that the whole year he has been tormenting himself with "What would have happened, if I had gone to MIT?"</p>
<p>I told him that probably a lot of people are going through that, but that he should stick to his decision and not look back because he will drive himself crazy. But he just cannot stop regretting MIT. The sad thing is that the only thing he is sad about is the name recognition. I told him that they are almost equal and that it doesn't matter that much, but he just doesn't listen. As if his head gets that the name doesn't matter, but his heart doesn't get it.</p>
<p>The thing is that it is only because of the perstige...he is doing well, has a lot of friends, and has a good time, but the fact that he gave up on MIT torments him even one year after decisions came out.</p>
<p>He told me that he thinks about transferring. I told him that just prestige is not reason enough to transfer to another school, if everything else is going well at the old one.</p>
<p>I really don't know what to do. He is a great guy. I can't see him tormenting himself like that. I don't want him to do a mistake.</p>
<p>Have any of you experienced that with your own kids?
Please give me some advice.</p>
<p>I've actually thought of Caltech as more prestigeous. All the same kids apply but they are so much smaller. Plus it's in sunny CA, not frigid MA!</p>
<p>Did he visit MIT? If he didn't then perhaps a visit might be worthwhile. He may find he really doesn't like it, and if he does, then he can try to transfer ( it isn't that easy). On the other hand, perhaps you can get him to make a list of pros and cons for both schools. If all he has is name recognition on the pro list for MIT, then perhaps seeing it on paper will help him. We all make choices in life, and sometimes we have regrets, but have to learn to live with the choices we make. A lot of this is life experience and maturity, and your friend is still young. You can help him by being there to support him. And if you are really worried that this is seriously affecting him and you think he may need professional help, urge him to go to the school counselling center.</p>
<p>My advice is to stay at Caltech for UG, and then apply to MIT for grad school. Because of its small size, one can start research in first term at Caltech. My S was enjoying hs elective, and prof invited him to get more involved. Another prof in CS had a Sunday club at his house on Sunday, and that became a regular activity. Students can join any sport team, music group, newspaper, student govt, dorm leadership, from first year. Most close friends will come from the House one lives in, and/or shared courses & interests. Summer research programs & internships are readily available. Its easy to make friends, unless one is by nature a "ghost". The cooperative spirit dominates.
I think they are both great schools for the right kids. S just spent term break visiting at MIT. I suspect many kids would be happy at either. Location, $$$, friends, can influence the initial choice.
My suspicion is your friend could have gone to MIT & wondered "what if" about Caltech. I'd encourage him to get more involved where he is now. If he ends up in teachng or research, he'll meet the same people all over the country.
Interesting, this question usually comes from kids who chose MIT/Caltech and wonder if they shouldn't have gone to a more diversified college.</p>