Roommate found sickly, starving 3-week old orphaned kitten right before winter break and took him back to our apartment.
Her attitude was “Let’s just see how he does overnight”…I literally had to INSIST on bringing him to the vet for an exam, which we did, and I paid for it.
He survived that last week of classes, so I took him home for the break (she lives farther away, had to fly home, couldn’t take him on plane).
This kitten would have DEFINITELY died soon without medical care, so my family and I took him to the vet once I got home. Vet prescribed meds ($$$$$$$) and round-the-clock feedings every few hours. Yes, even throughout the night.
Fast forward to today: Kitten has made full recovery. We have even started socializing him a bit with our other cats! And of course we have become very attached, having saved him from Death’s door. In fact, the whole family has fallen in love with him, and wants to keep him! We have already put hours of care and hundreds of dollars into this cat.
NOW FOR THE PROBLEM—She expects me to bring him BACK to University at the end of winter break, which is fast-approaching, to live as an apartment cat for the semester. Obviously, I love cats, especially this kitten, BUT:
Our apartment has a STRICT NO-PETS POLICY! She wants to get around it by registering him as an "emotional support animal" but we will lose our deposit if the realty people find out.
I know this girl well and she is not very responsible.She hardly does dishes, and I KNOW I will end up taking care of this cat 90 percent of the time. And really I need to be focusing on school.
He is REALLY young still---like he should still be with his mother. He is too young not to be in the company of other cats. I've read that orphaned kittens who are not socialized with other cats generally don't turn out very healthy.
I love the kitten and want what’s best for him. But I feel bad because she IS the one who found him in the first place, and I know she likes him. But the apartment thing just seems like a terrible idea. I cannot make her see reason, or understand the responsibility of raising an animal, or see things from the animal’s perspective. All she thinks about is “Kittens are cute! I want one!”
He’d be so much better off staying at my house. My family would take great care of him; we have had cats since before I was born and understand their needs. How do I make her see this? And am I even being reasonable or just cruel and selfish? I don’t know how to handle this and it is giving me anxiety.
I would lead with the fact that you are not allowed to have a cat in the apartment and that you don’t want to risk it. The contract breaking approach is very strong and should be enough, but you have many other good points if needed. If you’re able to effectively communicate all of your thoughts and concerns that you put out here, then she should understand, especially if she truly cares for the cat. Just tell her that you don’t think the two of you would be able to handle it on top of your course loads and daily chores and that you don’t want to have the financial responsibility (I’m assuming she doesn’t either). Maybe you could discuss getting a kitten next year if you plan on living together in a pet-friendly apartment? It also sounds like you live relatively close to home, so maybe you could bring her to your house every once in a while to see how the cat is doing. I totally agree that the kitten would be better off in a loving, responsible environment rather than with college students that technically aren’t even allowed to have a cat. It might take a while, but if she truly likes this kitten, she’ll eventually understand!
Say “no” . . . . Or
Say, “then you are financially responsible for the costs that I have already incurred”.
Present her with the vet bills and meds with upfront payment required. Don’t forget to add kenneling fees.
Then have her sign a contract, that if you are removed from your housing, she and/or her family will pay the full costs of your relocation to another room for the next full semester.
You do not register the CAT as an emotional support animal, you get a certification that the PERSON has an emotional need for a pet. Is she willing to get that letter from a psychologist that she has emotional needs?
Agree re being adamant about violating apt rules and the unethical decision re emotional support animal.
As a parent, I’d be happy to take the “blame” for this and would tell my child to just throw me under the bus. Might be easier since your roommate isn’t living with your parents. Plus, your parents paid for and delivered the kitten’s care. I’d tell roommate the truth in terms of the level and expense of care and how your family has all agreed that the cat needs a stable home environment with round the clock attention. She can be mad at them.
Don’t argue about it, just tell her what you’re doing. The cat still needs a lot of care, so you are leaving it with your parents. Maybe she can visit sometime. You are not willing the violate the no pets rule. Doing what’s best for the kitten is not being selfish.
You have to do what’s best for the welfare of the kitten. Roommate sounds like she wants all of the pluses of owning a kitten but none of the responsibilities. There’s going to come a time when the kitten grows into a 24/7 adolescent and will spend the next five years treating you and everything else like a jungle gym/scratching post. Someone at the college will notice and the rules will come back to haunt you guys.
If I were you, I’d leave the kitten at home with your other cats where he can learn and socialize. He missed that with his mother and siblings so it’s great he will have other kitties to teach him how to be a cat.