<p>Here is my situation. I go to a very small school in the Midwest. It's a liberal arts school. It's a great school academically, but the people here aren't as scholarly as I'd hoped they'd be. Most of them like to brag about how their grades were so bad in high school, they couldn't believe they got in here. This was surprising to me, as I worked very hard in high school and applied here believing it was a first-rate institution. In addition, marijuana is big on campus. People here are very, very alternative, and pot kind of comes with the territory. I guess I'm more straight-edged. I don't drink much (i hardly ever party...the parties here are super lame anyway, just ways to get money from drunk freshmen) and I don't smoke. </p>
<p>I'm worried that I'm too "normal" for this school. Everyone who is alternative seems to be fitting in really well. I have friends, but the friendships don't feel permanent. They feel sort of superficial. I'm worried that I'm not alternative enough to fit in with the social scene. </p>
<p>I do love the academics. I have had the privilege of seeing some great speakers here. I love most of my classes and I'm sure I would get a great education, if I were to stay. </p>
<p>But I feel pretty miserable a lot. I feel like I'm tolerating college life and, maybe I'm idealizing it, but shouldn't I love my four years in college? Other people seem to and it makes me feel like I'm missing out on something. Would i just not fit in anywhere? </p>
<p>What is very tempting is to move back to the West Coast and go to one of the state universities, where my close friends all go. There, I would have friends, I would get a great education and I would be able to see my family more often. But would I "grow" as much as a person?</p>
<p>Really, I just want to have the wonderful college experience that everyone speaks so fondly of, and I'm worried that I chose the wrong college. Please help? Do I transfer, or do I stick it out for four years??</p>
<p>I’m not saying don’t transfer, but PLEASE don’t transfer back to schools because your ‘close friends’ go there. You have no idea if you’d like the schools themselves any better – you just know there is a safety net there for you now that you’re out of your comfort zone. Do some research, and look for places that you think would fit you better socially AND academically where you don’t know anyone. </p>
<p>The appropriate research can help you find schools where drinking and pot are at a minimum (because they’re going to be any place you go).</p>
<p>I’d also advise, while researching, to join some clubs and meet some more people. Lifelong friendships aren’t made in a few weeks. While researching other schools I’d tough it out until the end of next semester (applying for transfer this March) to see if you feel any differently.</p>
<p>Your situation is very similar to what my daughter experienced her freshman year at a school in the Midwest. She transferred to a school on the east coast this fall and is much, much happier. She made it a point to not apply to transfer to any of the schools where her friends from high school attend (she went to boarding school), but to schools near enough that she can get together with them occasionally. They see each other once, possibly twice a month and it is enough to give her the sense that those friendships are still vibrant and a source of mutual support.</p>
<p>She also is loving her new campus and new friends. Relocating to a school where she knew no one has allowed her to continue to challenge herself not only academically but personally and socially.</p>
<p>I can’t stress enough how important it truly is for you to feel connected with your fellow students and the campus community. I agree with AUTransfer that it might not be wise to transfer to any of the same schools your friends attend back home, but I think your efforts in the next month or two to research schools that have programs and other aspects that appeal to you will pay off if you decide you want to put in some applications.</p>
<p>Try to write transfer essays over the holiday break (and definitely keep your grades up this semester to enhance your applications). Keep in mind that submitting transfer applications doesn’t mean you have to transfer if you change your mind during the spring semester. It does allow you to know that you will have options when this year ends and that goes a long way towards helping you feel less trapped.</p>
<p>Suggest trust yor intuition, research & apply elsewhere.
Meanwhile keep up your grades & make every effort to see if you might be mistaken about where you are now. (join stuff, etc)</p>