Please Rate my APWH Theses :)

Test Preparation AP History & Social Sciences
1

Hey guys,</p>

I’ve been making some essay outlines and writing these paragraphs for different essay prompts, and I’d love some feedback on them. You don’t need to read all of them, a comment on one or two would be nice :slight_smile: Also, I’m sure this will help anybody whose practicing and needs some help.</p>

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Analyze continuities and changes in patterns of interactions along the Silk Road from 200BCE to 1450CE.</p>

Throughout history, the Silk Road has helped to connect the different civilizations of Eurasia. From 200BCE to 1450CE, the groups that controlled the Silk Road constantly changed - with control by different Chinese dynasties and the nomadic Mongols. However, the Silk Road remained both culturally and economically significant, allowing cross-continental trade and the spread of ideas and religions.</p>

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Analyze the major changes and continuities in the influence of belief systems in East Asia from 600 to 1450.</p>

After the fall of the Han Dynasty during the Crisis of Late Antiquity, China experienced a time of political instability. During the time of 600 to 1450, many new dynasties emerged from the remains of the previous due to the cultural cohesion resulting from Confucian beliefs. However, increased tensions between Buddhists and Confucians led to the creation of Neo-Confucianism during the Song Dynasty, a reformed version that led to increased subordination of women.</p>

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Analyze major changes and continuities in the influence of belief systems in Western Europe from 600 to 1450.</p>

After the fall of the Roman Empire at the end of the Classical Era, Europe fell into a period of political disunity and cultural backwardness. From 600 to 1450, the Christian Church was able to maintain stability and unity in Western Europe, in a concept known as Christendom. However, increasing power of the church, especially after the Great Schism, led to the Catholic Church having superior power to the kings of European states through its governing of the Papal States and use of the Holy Inquisition.</p>

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One prompt that I have been having a lot of trouble with and haven’t been able to do anything is the following. Lots of help appreciated!</p>

Analyze political and economic changes and continuities in Sub-Saharan Africa between 600 and 1450. Include specific evidence from Kingdoms or groups of people.</p>

2

They are all good and will get you 1 point. However, they are not outstanding, so to speak, so you will not get the extended core for an amazing theisis. They are function, albeit a bit generic, but they do get you the point.
I like the write my thesis statements the way you wrote them. There is plenty of other ways you can get the extended core.</p>

3

Thanks thecolororange! Although extended core is nice, I’d much prefer to have a stable, 6-or-7 potential point thesis than try to go out of my comfort zone to get a potentially destructive thesis. Especially since I’m expecting to not know a lot of information about these essays because they can be about anything.</p>

Regardless, do you have any examples of a thesis that could get an extended core point?</p>