Please rate my resume with comments/suggestion, Business Major in Accounting/Finance

Career Opportunities & Internships
1

<p>Versatile and motivated trilingual professional with expertise in finance, and accounting concepts. Numerous skills and comprehensive knowledge and readily support a variety of professional undertakings. Displays dedication and determination in all endeavors with diligent attention.
Core Skills and Knowledge:
Professional Experience
SALES/CASHIER, SEARS, SCHAUMBURG, IL, NOV 2010-JAN 2011
Established in 1886, Sears is one of the largest retail stores in America. Its subsidiaries are involved in retail product management and inventory analysis.
• Met sales goal of over $10,000
• Participated in Inventory Analysis
• Manage over $5000 in cash</p>

<p>INTERN, BUSINESS PROFESSIONALS OF AMERICA, CHICAGO, IL SEP 2009-MAY 2010
Established in 1966, BPA is one of the top youth business leagues in the nation. It features events and competition in all business fields.
• Attended various business conferences and events
• Managed over $70,000 in assets
• Small Business Management Team Leader
• State and National Qualifier
• Created graphs, presentations and spreadsheets on starting a new business</p>

<p>ANALYST INTERN, AT&T CORPORATION, SCHAUMBURG, IL MAY 2010
Established in 1983, ATT is a fortune 500 company specializing in telecommunications, cable, and in home internet service.
• Attended company seminars and presentations
• Job shadowed and completed various on site tasks with FT employees
• Managed efficient business tactics with emphasis in customer relations</p>

<p>EDUCATION
University of Illinois Chicago—Bachelors of Science in Accounting, (Still in Progress) GPA 4.0 out of 4.0</p>

2

<p>You should post a link up to razume.com if you want people to give feedback on your resume. Half of a resume’s impression is the formatting.</p>

<p>Off the top of my head though, you have two significant flaws in your resume:</p>

<p>1) Not enough orientation towards goals or projects
2) Too many words and not enough #'s if you’re applying for a finance job.</p>

<p>Some starting points:
-How did you meet the sales goal of $10K? list techniques & methodologies you used
-Focus on sales much more than on the cashier duties, there’s not much to say about being a cashier
-Explain in detail what projects the $70K budget in BPA were used for
-Identify the awards you received in BPA
-More detail on a task or project completed at AT&T.
-How were your business tactics efficient at AT&T? What did you do? Show, don’t describe.</p>

3

<p>doesn’t do any good to say that you are trilingual and not say what the languages are</p>

<p>I have issues saying you are an expert in something while you are an undergrad, but maybe that is just me. If you are an expert, what is someone with 25 years in the field?</p>

4

<p>Education goes on top, right under your personal info
It helps to cut down on the words, i.e. GPA: 4.0/4.0 is fine. Much easier to read than 4.0 out of 4.0.</p>

5

<p>You don’t need to spend a paragraph hyping up each employer. Everyone knows what Sears and AT&T are. Talk about YOUR accomplishments at those companies.</p>

<p>“Displays dedication,” etc. is meaningless fluff and puffery. Anyone can write those words on a resume. Show through your work experience that you embody those qualities.</p>

6

<p>Professional Experience
SALES ASSOCIATE, SEARS, SCHAUMBURG, IL, NOV 2010-JAN 2011</p>

<p>• Vigorously participated in training, communicated with hundreds of customers, and set sales goal of $10K with keen, flawless effort
• Analyzed thousands of prices, warranties, and financed credit from MasterCard.
• Showed impeccable leadership skills when problems arose with customers and co-workers during high volume holiday season</p>

<p>FINANCE-INTERN, BUSINESS PROFESSIONALS OF AMERICA, CHICAGO, IL SEP 2009-MAY 2010
• Attended and effectively participated in business leadership conferences and seminars
• Managed a Limo business worth $70K in assets, used immaculate organizational skills to create quality spreadsheets and award winning presentations
• Used efficient business tactics such negotiation, cost saving reductions and profit maximization to create a professional Small Business Management Team
• State qualifier and award winner in Business Finance Team and national qualifier and state medalist in Visual Basic programming
• Produced business plans in spreadsheets showing $50k worth of assets, liabilities, profits, investments, and losses</p>

<p>ANALYST INTERN, AT&T CORPORATION, SCHAUMBURG, IL MAY 2010
• Provided accounting support to over 5 mock companies with emphasis in accounts payable and accounts receivable
• Job shadowed and completed comprehensive organizational tasks with 20 FT employees
• Identified and introduced to over 5000 AT&T phone and cable lines
• Actively participated in AT&T leadership seminars and presentations</p>

<p>That should be much better. Please rate with comments</p>

7

<p>I like it but I think you are overdoing the action verbs and adjectives.</p>

8

<p>Hard to judge format on a forum, so make sure you get that critiqued elsewhere. </p>

<p>Content wise, you are overdoing it. I agree with theyoungboi. A resume is supposed to be more factual. You shouldnt say that you “showed impeccabe leadership skills” or “vigorously participated” or “used immaculate organizational skills” or … and things like that. When you write like that, those line items appear biased. You think your skills are immaculate, great, but when the employer reads your resume they want evidence of your vigerous, impeccible, immacuulatenes, flawlessness…etc. You shouldnt have to state it, just provide the proof, and let your accomplishements stand alone. </p>

<p>If you want to expand on your efforts, to stress how impecible and vigorous your efforts were, do so in your cover letter NOT your resume. </p>

<p>Make sure everything you have on there, reflects the absolute truth, and that your previous employers will confirm what you have written. For example, if you werent the #1 person in charge of the limo business you should qualify that statement to “helped manage”. Employers can fire you if anything isnt 100 percent true. </p>

<p>I could go on, but I wont. Think about creating an Awards & Honors section since you seem to have a few.</p>

9

<p>You are playing yourself up WAY too much.</p>

<p>Any employer knows what you mean by “sales associate,” and unless you mean something else, your “analysis” of thousands of prices, warranties, etc. at Sears meant you scanned products and had a foundational knowledge of company policies. In reality, “analyzing” these things is what full-time buying associates do, and those are jobs held nearly exclusively by people with Bachelor’s degrees, since they are careers, not wage jobs. </p>

<p>If you were a sales associate, tell me about the number of customers you interacted with on a daily basis, and give a REALISTIC estimate of how many made purchases. If you say that 90% of the people you interacted with made purchases, I will know you are lying since that defies statistics to a point that even the most seasoned sales people cannot match. Tell me that you did understand the pricing of a wide array of products, since that means you can grasp large volumes of information, but don’t tell me you are analyzing things when you aren’t. Tell me that you were able to meet the demands of a busy time for retailers, but don’t make it out like you saved the company, since you certainly did not!</p>

<p>For your second bit of experience, don’t say you created award winning presentations without detailing exactly what awards you won. If you are using “award winning” as a way of saying “fantastic,” you are blatantly misusing the term, and you must change that immediately.
At no point do you actually give an idea of what you did as an “intern.” For all I know, you went to a camp for budding businesspeople, but you didn’t actually do anything in the real world. I will not believe that a limousine business would allow a teenager to manage the entire thing; it’d be incredibly fiscally irresponsible for the business, regardless of how talented you are.
These business plans you “produced,” what was the point? Did you actually help a local business reconcile finances? </p>

<p>For AT&T, don’t say “over 5”… when dealing with numbers so small, if you can’t be exact, you’re probably making it up. </p>

<p>Overall, my advice to you is to stop exaggerating your accomplishments. Nobody expects you to have real life experience, and if you try to make it out like you’ve done incredible things, you will have more trouble than the kid who talks about the ice cream shop he worked at for two summers. At least employers know he’s being honest. Avoid being vague or indirect. Get rid of grammatical errors, of which there are plenty in this r</p>