Prompt: Is it wise to be suspicious of the motives or honesty of other people, even those who appear trustworthy ?
The presupposition that it is wise to be suspicious of the motives or honesty of others is a categorical truth. People should be skeptical and dubious about other’s honesty. Skepticism ensures someone whether other’s claims or whatever they say are an absolute truth. If people were not suspicious of the idea, which was supported by trustworthy scientist, that the earth was flat or that the earth is the center of the universe, we would be living in a lie now. Two prominent and cogent archetypes that advocate by point are: the event of a soldier and the event of a character in a novel.
The first evidence that support my notion is when a soldier was skeptical about his general’s actions. The vigilant soldier noticed that the general was working against the country which the soldier and the general were living in. Because the soldier was dubious about his general’s motives, he was able to capture a traitor who was planning to manipulate the country.
The other example is shown in a novel called “An Abundance of Katherines” by John Green. Everyone thought that Collin has a perfect and that it is impossible for him to forget anything. Because Collin was unable to conclude a formula that depends on his memory that can keep memories indelible, his friend was suspicious of Collin’s memory and asked him to be sure about his memories. When Collin called his other friend who was with him during his past, Collin recognized that he had a false memory about an event. Because Collin’s friend was suspicious of Collin’s memory, the formula was then established.
Being suspicious of someone’s honesty, motive, or anything is completely correct. My two examples advocate my point of view and debunk people’s views which are against mine.
3/6
The intro is too long. You need only 1-4 sentences: “I disagree/agree. My examples come from here.”
overkills on vocab
short length
1st example is too short and sounds like a fake.
You can elaborate more on your second example, which is solid.
don’t use “I” or “my” in any SAT essay
Good conclusion. Keep it short; don’t change how you write conclusions.
I totally loved the introduction. You proved the opposite side wrong and this shows great insight into your argument.
You used appropriate, advanced vocab.
What you could improve:
Your examples. Try doing more research to be prepared for more topics.
You could elaborate more on your first example.
For the body paragraphs, reiterate your claim either in the intro or end, or both.
I personally would avoid using “being” - go for suspiciousness or skepticism or doubt. Being shows weakness.
I’d refrain from saying “mine” - say that are contrary to the thesis. Just don’t use personal pronouns as they weaken the conclusion.
I’d switch the order of the sentences in the conclusion. This way, you sum up your paradigms, and then you end off your essay with your claim for a final impression.
Try using these tips in your next essay as a reference without timing and show me what you come up with! I’ll give more tips hopefully.
@thetex Thank you for your criticism and grade. I appreciate everything you wrote. @BethanyD I will work on every tip you said, but I just didnt understand how should I make researches. Like what should I search for ???
I suggest you read a classic (I recommend Great Expectations) to gather literature examples. You can start off with this list: google.com.sa/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CB4QFjAAahUKEwjrjvnQoMHAhULuxQKHTdcAX0&url=http%3A%2F%2Fblog.prepscholar.com%2F6-sat-essay-examples-to-answer-every-prompt&ei=pCbiVeusCYv2Ure4hegH&usg=AFQjCNGEFmvHLPxD8nvfhVpvPVryEkdk2w&sig2=68yqtVhEXrVDton8vwLWA
It will give you a idea of what you should be looking for.
