Please read my essay!

<p>can you guys read my essay, and give your honest opinions. this is what i wrote for my school uncg. thanks!</p>

<p>The Moment That Changed My Life</p>

<p>“He is dead.” My mother stated. “He didn’t make it.” From the second my mother told me this, I knew my life would change forever.
My late father originally came from the small country of Sierra Leone, West Africa. He came to the United States, to pursue a better education than what his parents received back home. When he arrived in the seventies to America, he attended the University of North Carolina at Greensboro.
While growing up, my father would continuously remind me about the importance of having an education and the ethics of hard work. “Nobody is born smart,” he would say, “in order for anyone to achieve anything you must work hard. Without hard work, there is no success.” I would roll my eyes and make little remarks under my breath, expressing my annoyance. However, as I got older, especially after my father’s death, I finally realized that his long and tiring speeches were true.
My father’s death was the hardest event I ever had to face. I hate that he left me at the tender age of sixteen, but as time has gone on, I feel his death was a blessing in disguise and an inspiration for improvement and change. His death influenced me to work harder and achieve goals both personally and academically. His death even encouraged me to work as a doctor overseas. While my father was living, I never really had any type of empathy for people who were sick or going through tough trials. However, when he passed away, I became “that victim”. I knew how it was to be on the other end and to lose a loved one and close friend.
My father’s death also influenced my appreciation for diversity. Growing up he always spoke about where he came from, and how important it is to never forget where one comes from. “You may have been born in America, but you are still an African”, he would continuously say. Now that I am older, one of my favorite passions is celebrating, learning and interacting with different cultures.
Although college does not ensure the success of an individual, I believe it can certainly have an influence on an individual’s future. My father’s positive traits of being hard working, intellectual, and boisterous aroused my curiosity of what type of school he went to. This introduced me to UNCG, where all my needs and desires for a good future can be found.
I plan to choose a career in the medical field that will allow me to help people with their health while traveling around the world. With all the diversity on the campus, and the excellent programs, such as the Study Abroad and Pre Med programs, I know I will meet my fullest potential. When I first visited UNCG, I couldn’t believe the sense of belonging I immediately felt. From the welcoming student body, to the faculty that had cordial conversations with me, after exploring and meeting the population of the campus, I knew this school was the place for me.
My father’s passing created a drastic change upon my life and who I am. His death and life influenced me to be the best that I can be and to work towards my goals no matter the obstacles. My motivation is stronger than ever because of this. Before my father’s passing, he instilled in me that with hard work and assistance, I can achieve anything in life. Whether it deals with having a positive future or being a confident woman. Just as my father worked hard to have a promising future for my family, I will do the same. With UNCG’s assistance and my diligence, I will not only make my father proud, but I will most importantly make myself proud.</p>

<p>last line:</p>

<p>…but most importantly, I will make myself proud. </p>

<p>i’ll read the whole thing later but thats the first thing i noticed</p>

<p>ok, thanks</p>

<p>bump</p>

<p>bump bump bump</p>

<p>i really liked your essay… it was very engaging and made me want to read more… awesome essay</p>

<p>oh wow, thanks!</p>

<p>Just a warning, once you post your essay it is public domain.</p>

<p>yea,i just realized that. is it that bad? does that mean some colleges ay think i copied what i wrote? not that many people are looking at this essay anyway. thanks though</p>

<p>its a great essay. i can tell you are a talented writer. try and ask a mod to take it off though. you dont want others copying it.</p>