…because I really miss my son today. I even saw him just a few days ago when I brought my daughter to revisit day. I was again reassured that he is at an extraordinary school. But I probably won’t see him again until school lets out for the summer. I could use a little support from veteran parents.
You are doing this because you love him. Because you put his interests and growth before your desire to see him every day. You are doing this to help him achieve his potential. You rock!!
Here’s why you’re doing this:
Who wrote all these great things, you ask? You did.
I’m with you @twinsmama … Last week was my daughter’s bday and she was at her BS. This was the first time in 15 yrs that I didn’t spend her bday with her. It was harder for me than it was for her. I emailed her dean so she could give her a bday hug for me and I sent her Bday balloons and a gift. I did go to see her the weekend after her bday and when I left I was really sad. I miss her sooooo much BUT she’s happy and I know we are doing this for her…for her future. Memorial Day weekend cannot come fast enough for me.
I’ve missed every one of ChoatieKid’s BDs since BS, including the all-important 16th and 18th BDs. It killed me every time. Many people say it gets easier, but I have found I miss him more each year. I’ve said this before but for all I miss him, I know he’s missing nothing and that has has to be enough to get me through. Hang in there, @twinsmama. I’d wonder about you if you DIDN’T miss him. It’s called love.
@NYCMomof3 She told me she loved the dean’s hug!
@twinsmama, you are doing what is best for your kids because you are selfless and generous.
Thanks, all. I needed that. You guessed it…birthday today.
It’s hard. @twinsmama you know why. They earned their shot, so we want them to have it. But yes, it’s hard. I have one in his senior year of college-- after four years of bs, another in his third year of boarding, still hard because we love them.
Happy birthday, and I second every post above. You’re a great mom for doing this. 
Twinsmama, I’d love to tell you that it gets easier. In some ways it does, simply because it becomes more familiar a routine… but in all honesty, I have been missing my kid even more than I did last year. She is so happy and thriving at school, and I see wonderful changes in her whenever we’re together. But it is still the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Just know that we’re all here to listen and support one another. I hope your kid’s dorm parent can provide photos from the birthday celebration (do they do that for boys? Birthdays are big at my kid’s school, but it’s all-girls).
Happy Birthday to the twins and I hope he calls or texts you today!
I think the best point of the above posts is that, while you may miss them even more in coming years (especially on birthdays), it all seems like so many of these kids are getting happier and more confident as they go through boarding school. Just recently my husband and I were talking about how our kid is so much more focused on the community at school and on the outside world this year (as a sophomore) than he was last year (as a freshman). It’s so great to see him growing up and focusing on others. Even though you can’t be with your boy all the time, you’re giving him (and soon your daughter as well) such a gift!
Personally, I am spinning from the complicated dynamics of my kid gaining her independence and being a teenager and living in her ‘own world’. I just came back from a visit, she is doing great but it was brutal. I am very very tired. Sorry if it’s out of turn to mention this? Just anchoring to the thread title 
It hasn’t hit me yet but now that we have sent in the deposit, really worried about how I will be this time next year. The thought that our only son is leaving home soon is becoming scary and I am bracing myself.
@ jdewey and anyone else…commiseration is very welcome.
I sobbed for at least a week during the deciding process and expect to sob a lot next year. But, I keep reminding myself that BS was the best thing that ever happened to me and will, hopefully, be the best thing that ever happened to my child, too.
Mothers Day is approaching. Not happy about not having my baby at home. Just sayin’.
I couldn’t help myself this summer. Somewhere down deep I was angry that DD would return for her second year of BS. I miss her terribly. We are very close. I was mean to her unintentionally for much of the second half of the summer and I know it was just about bracing for her to be gone again. It is a pressure cooker environment, she had blemishes all year which cleared up as soon as the school year stress was replaced by summer, her school does not give GPA boosts for honors and AP courses yet she is now among a highly competitive crowd so her grades will be lower than back when she was one of two stars in her grade at her old independent day school. Her resume won’t shine the way it would if she was coming from her own school. But. SHE chooses the challenge and the increased depth of an education. SHE understands it may not get her as far with college applications (an irony) but also knows she will ultimately be better educated and better equipped in tthe long run and that whatever colleges she does manage to get in to, she will do well.
So @twinsmama , you are not alone. Not at all.