Please score my essay

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1

<p>Hello , please help me score my essay . I would be glad if you share your suggestions and strategies . </p>

<p>Prompt : A colleague of the great scientist James Watson remarked that Watson was always “lounging
around, arguing about problems instead of doing experiments.” He concluded that “There is
more than one way of doing good science.” It was Watson’s form of idleness, the scientist
went on to say, that allowed him to solve “the greatest of all biological problems: the discovery
of the structure of DNA.” It is a point worth remembering in a society overly concerned with
efficiency.
Adapted from John C. Polanyi, “Understanding Discovery”
Do people accomplish more when they are allowed to do things in their own way?</p>

<p>Essay : Our minds are different from each other's which means that we all function in different ways.Restrictions on doing certain tasks in fixed ways can limit the creativity of some minds and work efficiently with others.Thus,allowing each mind to unleash it's abilities is worth the trial.</p>

<p>Freedom of thinking promotes creativity.For example,restricting students in a Mathematician class to perform operations only one way can hinder the growth of their mental abilities.Instead students should be allowed to guess how an operation should be done.Later,they will learn to avoid the mistakes they made the previous time because they learn the right method.</p>

<p>In some cases people are more comfortable with other strategies than the standard ones.For instance,solving the reading section on the SAT can be done more than one way.Each person is comfortable with a different method,some people even come up with their own strategies in handling this task.Some like to quickly skim the passage and then look at the questions while other prefer to locate the search zones depending on the questions and then read.As a result,some times it is wrong to determine standard ways to do some tasks.</p>

<p>Restriction of thinking might lead to stagnation in some cases.For example,the scientist Lamarck came to the conclusion that giraffes developed long necks because they kept stretching their necks to reach the high trees . No matter how funny that theory might seem it was very plausible for some time.Later,Charles Darwin set the theory of natural selection which explained that long-neck giraffes dominated because they had a better chance of surviving.If charles had accepted the mistaken theory like everybody else did it might have remained till today.</p>

<p>In brief,restricting people's minds is not practical nor is it logical because they function in different ways.Also,because restriction can have bad impacts like retard and deadlock.A more effective strategy would be letting each mind it's own to creativity.</p>

2

<p>Ok your thesis is that you support the prompt because people’s minds are different “which means that we all function in different ways”.</p>

<p>Your first example is mathematics where students should be allowed to guess how operations are done. Eventually they will profit fro their mistakes and “learn the right method”. This isnt very convincing- remember the prompt asked “do people accomplish more”- it seems like the student ended up with the same method that could have been taught in the first place. Not any better and they wasted time. </p>

<p>In the SAT example you at least make the case that some student could do better but it still vague. It would be better if you had more specifics here. For instance: “Standardized test instructions often tell students to carefully read the entire paragraph first, but studies have shown that for students with ADHD they can often score but better by using alternate strategies, such as circling key words derived from the questions.”</p>

<p>The third example is really a stretch to support your thesis. You really needed some kind of demonstration that Lamarckism was such orthodoxy that it prevented any other opinions from even being considered. But even then, where would the part about peoples’ minds being different come in? </p>

<p>Your conclusion should include a statement that your thesis follows from your examples. So saying “restricting people’s minds is not practical nor is it logical because they function in different ways” is untenable because you haven’t made any demonstration the different types of minds you are talking about. Perhaps you should have referenced some one with ADHD, or people with math problems verses math savants. Then you would have come closer to being able to support your statement. </p>

<p>Had you had that frame work, the last paragraph is where you really justify your thesis that some people really would “accomplish more”.</p>

<p>As it is I think it is a 3.</p>