Please score my SAT essay again

<p>Question: Do people place too much emphasis on winning?</p>

<p>Winning is a sensation that attracts reverence from other professionals and outsiders alike. Winning is glorified and winners are worshipped. Although people who win do deserve to be rewarded, I believe that today’s society places too much importance on being “number one”. This distorts our image of the losers, who may actually also be winners in their own right.</p>

<p>In a hundred years time, people will remember the 2008 presidential election for Barack Obama. They will remember Obama in the same way that we remember George Washington, Thomas Jefferson or James Madison. John McCain will probably be relegated to a footnote. People only remember those who win. Political commentators will spend most of their time scrutinizing the presidency of Barack Obama, not the Senate career of John McCain. Decades from now, school children will learn how Obama became the first African-American president; it is doubtful that they will know who John McCain was. Historians will write volumes of books about Obama and his presidency. But, there will be a paucity of scholarly research about McCain. It will seem like that McCain never existed. The difference in treatment of winners and losers demonstrates the stress on winning in our society. The winner, literally, takes all.</p>

<p>Sport also emphasizes victory. In many competitions, the winners’ names are recorded on the trophy. It is very easy to see who won the competition in a particular year. But, what’s not easy to see is who the winner defeated to win his/her prize. The losers, like McCain, are forgotten. Take Wimbledon as an example. In the centre court complex, there is a board which records who won the championship in which year. Names like Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and Pete Sampras fill that wall. One name that is not on that board is Andy Roddick. Roddick has reached the Wimbledon final four times, but on all four occasions lost to Federer. Is Roddick a loser? Yes, in the sense that he lost to Federer. But, didn’t he beat many others to reach the final on those occasions? Yet, Roddick’s name is not recorded on that board. Nobody will know who Roddick was in a few years from now. But, people will still remember Federer because his name is etched on that board. The emphasis on winning in Wimbledon is huge – as it is across many other sports – and it reflects the emphasis on winning in the general public. </p>

<p>I shall conclude with a personal anecdote. A few ago, I remember watching an interview given by Frank Lampard (a soccer player) on the eve of the Champions League final (the Champions League is the biggest competition in club soccer in Europe and arguably in the world). He said that he desperately wanted to win because history only remembers those who won and not those who were runners-up. I think that what he said perfectly sums up the view that people have about winning. </p>

<p>please give a score of 12. </p>

<p>Thanks again :)</p>

<p>In your supports you argue that winning is emphasized, but you do not spend much time arguing that it is emphasized too much.</p>

<p>Ok. Would that be very detrimental to my score?</p>

<p>bump. anybody please?</p>

<p>you have discussed clearly how(to what extent) people place emphasis on the winning side, but have not elaborated on “Why”. Given what you say is true, so? Say for example, in an essay, i discuss how MLK is being honored by people, does that lead to the conclusion that people admire him “too much”? Obviously NO. </p>

<p>Thus, your essay is not convincing. You should talk about how people placing emphasis on winning lead to some unpleasant consequences, which make the emphasis “too much”, in other words, “not a good thing”. For instance, ignoring the losing side will create a false impression on kids that the society only honors winners, thus negatively impact their individuality.</p>

<p>The graders will probably be more concerned about how you write than about your content, but it’s still a good idea to make the argument your thesis says you’re going to make.</p>