<p>Many of the people on this board have excellent public school options yet still desire to send their child to one of the top boarding schools. Why do they want to do this?</p>
<ol>
<li>College Admissions---Many, despite all the naysayers, believe that matriculation to a top boarding school will help in their goal (and their child's goal--after all many state that their child "drove the process" to seek admission to a top boarding school)</li>
<li>Child is bored at public school despite it being a top school--but would this be enough to motivate Upper Middle Class parents to drop 40K plus a year for high school with college looming on the horizon, perhaps -- perhaps not.</li>
<li>Many parents went to Ivies and want their children to go to their alma maters</li>
</ol>
<p>I do believe that admission to an Ivy even with admissable stats becomes something of a lottery. Boarding School may help your child to achieve those stats or it may not. Top BS admissions have been called capricious, IVY/Top LAC admissions are also capricious.</p>
<p>So why would I seek out BS as an option? My reasons would be BOTH a superlative education that looks at the whole individual AND that I believe it would improve my child's chances of attending the colleges that we attended. I believe that an IVY degree (or a top LAC degree) provides benefits (credentials) throughout one's lifetime that cannot be duplicated through a state school or a lesser school. These are of course my opinions backed up by a lot of reading :)</p>
<p>YMMV</p>
<p>All valid and thanks for sharing.</p>
<p>In our household, we believe that my daughter will be better prepared for the college of her choice. She also wanted to be in a school where everyone from the students to the teachers were talking the same “language.”</p>
<p>She was tired of being ridiculed for being articulate and having aspirations.</p>
<p>My D went to boarding school so she could breathe some “fresh air.” I realized when I saw how happy she was (stressed and swamped with work, but happy) that we were finally breathing fresh air too. Finally, a school where it isn’t a constant struggle to advocate for a child because they’ve already anticipated her needs or she’s communicated with them. :)</p>
<p>Thanks exie, I am glad you found a great place for your girl.</p>
<p>I’ve been feeling very deflated…conceptually I knew in some remote way what these schools could offer compared to even the best public school, but now I’ve seen them, seen what they can offer. Yet my child doesn’t have a seat at the table, it is a bitter, sad experience. Maybe I am still in the mourning period but I think the chances that C will reach his dream are slim to none at this point. We have experienced first hand what a 14% percent or less admission rate feels like from the losing side. DH’s alma mater’s admission rate this year is 9%. We’re assuming that by the time C is ready to go it will be -1%.</p>
<p>I have found the people on this board very helpful in so many ways—we could not talk about a goal of sending child to BS to friends, family but I found a place to do so here. I am now trying to find the resolve to try again next year (child wants to do so but I am finding the idea of trying again difficult). I have received private pm’s with very helpful advice. Thank you.</p>
<p>Let’s get down to the brass tacks. My children spent more than half of their educational years in local public schools. While the education was likely one of the better in the nation the schools were filled with people who did not want to be there and created socially difficult situations for the children who were there to work. My son had someone waiting for him everyday blocking his locker, tripping him and doing weird stuff in gym. It was awful. He became laconic. After a few years of breathing oxygen in an excellent junior boarding school, he went from the last runner to the first runner at Cross Country. One cannot underestimate the growth a child can experience when allowed the sunshine and teacher support needed to prosper. In most well run boarding schools there is an A game at foot. The schools are competing and the kids are competing and winning is the end game. In public school, there are many agendas at play. There are limits to the higher math classes and how many get into the high 6th grade math after 5th grade. Most boarding schools have a variety of activities for children to pursue. Is it sustainable? Probably not. Enjoy it while it lasts! At some point the scales will tip, the alumni and generous donors may disappear and these schools will not enjoy the educational bubble funding they currently enjoy. Nothing lasts forever.</p>
<p>Careful, kittykat1, there are agendas being played at BS too-- a few we noticed are as follows: 1) steer kids to/from AP classes, so they can brag about their high AP stats; 2) encourage/steer away re certain colleges, again, to improve their numbers; 3) focusing the advanced math program on a curriculum that caters to the few stars (who bring home national math honors) and leaving the other students (although high achievers in their own right–just not the same league) in the dust; 4) grading breaks to certain athletes . . . We’ve been surprised at all of these things–expecting the “best” for our C as well as any other, but, life is not alway fair or equal.</p>
<p>I know that when I went to Exeter I was chosen from a school that had a gifted track within it. We were an otherwise mediocre district (evidenced by it’s being put in receivership years ago). And yet I’m reconnecting with my friends through social media and found that many have done as well as my Exeter alum friends.</p>
<p>So as cliche as it sounds, I’m a true believer that sometimes doors don’t open because there’s something as good or better waiting down the road.</p>
<p>In the pc business we used to have a saying ‘garbage in - garbage out.’ We can turn that around for secondary schools and be more positive… it is all about what you put in to the experience with regard to what you get out of it and what you make of your life. </p>
<p>Have to agree with both kittykat1 and grinzing on the agendas - they are everywhere - public school, private day, prep day/boarding. I do think you can do some of your homework and make sure those agendas are in line with your child’s needs. Maybe you have a star athlete that needs a little grading break so he can get a scholarship to college… (btw, I don’t have an athlete)</p>
<p>I am not speaking from experience bkz C is not yet(hopefully will be) in BS but from the reading that I’ve done, the top BS are very good at positioning as many students as possible (mostly to their benefit but primarily the schools because that is how they market themselves—I believe to some extent this is how the IVIES are doing it also).</p>
<p>I understand why but you need to be aware of this and hopefully choose wisely for your child and help child navigate through the currents…</p>
<p>^^Agree…although most of these schools have several dedicated fulltime college counselors, on some level you STILL know your child best and it’s worth the time and effort to involve yourself in the process, even if it’s only as an ally in terms of brainstorming and offering comparative “opportunity costs.” No one wants to have spent this much time in the educational process only to find DC has landed at a great college or U, but one that isn’t at all great for them. :(</p>
<p>Be your C’s own advocate for college counseloring, and that includes involvement in course choices and opportunities all along the way through BS. The school only gets actively involved at jr year and much of DC’s picture for college was already in the past by the time the college guidance counselor starts to get involved. I think they use the “fit” buzzword in part to moderate expectations with parents and parents sometimes need to push back and ensure their DC is heard on what is right for DC.</p>
<p>@flowers123 First off, I am so sorry for your disappointment this year. It must be very difficult to think about trying to do it all again.</p>
<p>I would like to make a couple points, though. The first is that if you believe your S would be better off heading to boarding school this year, there are several good schools that in years past have had rolling admissions. I don’t know about this crazy year, but some years Berkshire, Pomfret, Gunnery, Avon, Williston North Hampton, Millbrook, and Lawrence have openings into May. Blair and NMH sometimes have openings as well. I am sure there are many others as well. It might be worth a call to find out availability and then some research to see if any of these or other schools fit your son. I have seen on the board elsewhere that once schools are into their waitlist they look at new applicants in the same pool, so maybe some of these schools would be doing that.</p>
<p>My second point is that I have seen on this board several people saying that they were shut out the first year and had choices the second. If your S wants to wait it out, and try again, I would support him, however heartbreaking the process is. I don’t know which schools you applied to, but I would recommend throwing a few schools on the list that seem at or even slightly below his scores, grades etc., as each year admissions is tougher and a school that should have been a shoo-in this year may no longer be one next year. If you do apply again, I hope that you apply to some schools that fit you but are reach (all HADES and the like would be in this category, I believe, for everyone), some that are right on for your child in other respects (ECs, classes, etc.) but not quite as competitive to get in to, and some that your child should get into without too much worry, but that he would still be proud to go to. An educational consultant could be very helpful in making a broader list that suits your child. There are so many well qualified kids and parents on this site blindsided when the big names schools with their infinitesimal admissions rates all waitlist them, and there are so many other terrific schools out there where these kids could be successful and happy.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>I have one foot in the public world and one in the private (well, next Sept). My S is thriving in the local public school. A good, but not great system. He is a big fish in the small pond there, able to take all the honors courses and be in the top group of students. I believe he is better positioned for college admissions and performance, in this school. If he were in a local private school, he would have more difficulty standing out. As it is now, he will be one of a handful of kids applying to the very good PACs (Duke/Bucknell/Lehigh etc etc) from his school and that will work in his favor. At the small private school, there may be 20 kids applying to one of those schools, and they obviously are not going to admit that many from one school.</p>
<p>He is on a faster math track than the private school we investigated, having completed Algebra II in 8th grade. So we are happy there.</p>
<p>For our D, we looked into private schools because she is not quite as gifted as her brother. She would not be the proverbial big fish - we worried that she would get lost in the crowd in a public school where the teachers and pulled in so many different directions and focused more on standardized testing etc. She thrives in an environment where she can get to know her teachers and vice versa, and they can draw her out. The closeness of the local BS (where she will be a day student) seems ideal, and she really wanted to go to a place where all the kids are passionate about doing well. The public school, while sending 88% of kids to college, didn’t strike her as having enough kids who really cared about their education, so that is what motivated her to look at private schools.</p>
<p>It isn’t at all about getting admitted to a particular college or type of college. But I do think she will be better prepared and get much more out of her high school education in this environment, just as I think my son will get more out of the public school environment.</p>