<p>Fencersmother, just because a woman chooses to live in a "swanky high rise" (which probably has a door man which is nice for a single woman to have) doesn't mean she's flaunting anything to anyone. Why should she live in a hole if she doesn't have to? And the idea of concentrating on work instead of your social life until you're in your 40's? I take a look at my career driven 50 something college classmates who would give their eyeteeth to have what I have .....a great husband and two kids. (and I had one at 41.....no picnic)</p>
<p>Fencersmother, you're not attracted to men with brains. Everyone on the internet says that, but it's not true. Sexual attraction is not rational. Even the smartest girls are biologically attracted to the biggest, most masculine football playing meathead. That doesn't mean you'll date him, but it means you fantasize about it. Abstract algebra is not a useful tool for protecting a woman's offspring from a saber tooth tiger! Now, if the nerd makes a lot of money, and can then care for your children, then you'll date him. But smarts alone won't do it.</p>
<p>ttp://<a href="http://www.gnxp.com/blog/2007/04/intercourse-and-intelligence.php">www.gnxp.com/blog/2007/04/intercourse-and-intelligence.php</a></p>
<p>Did you read the link? How come dudes with IQs over 130 never get laid??? Seems to be my observation. I lost my virginity later than most, and being smart sure didn't help.</p>
<p>Good looks wear off VERY quickly if there's not a quick wit that goes along with it. IMHO....nothing worse than a dumb, good looking guy.....ho-hum.</p>
<p>Aw man wot wutang says i knew to be true before, but now it just hit me in the face. Urg. I went to the website, my chances are even lower due to race + intelligence (ok this may sound cocky but i am prolly some of the more intelligent kids thouhg on cc i am crazy stupid)</p>
<p><em>nods to what dke said</em></p>
<p>Women may be initially more attracted to a guy with good looks, but that goes away soon. Educated women, especially, want a guy with brains. Most don't want a guy who's significantly less intelligent than they are, just as most don't want one who's significantly shorter.</p>
<p>That doesn't mean women will necessarily go for the nerds. It's not ALL about intelligence any more than it is ALL about looks. But most women don't like stupid guys, even if they are good-looking.</p>
<p>^so, you want a man who is superior: stronger/taller/higher income potential/educational achievement. That seems to be the most consistent theme.</p>
<p>It just irks me, as an attractive but smaller statured male (5'8, 155 lbs) to hear about how important intelligence is for mating. Um, if that's the case, why do I struggle while the big guys who work construction never seem to have a problem? Oh yeah, they have larger, stronger bodies. Read the link. Statisitically, being smart HURTS you. Maybe there's a lurking variable, and IQ is not the true predictor, but there's a strong correlation nonetheless.</p>
<p>Well reaserach in bats show that smarter bats have like less testorone and are extrmly less chanced to mate with a female bat. Now humans are more complex, but overall the theme continues.</p>
<p>wutangfinancial - I don't necessarily want a guy who's superior, just one who isn't significantly beneath me. As to the financial thing, I'm fine with a schoolteacher, as long as he has other qualities I admire. I'm not attracted to construction guys, etc. However, neither am I attracted to guys who are all smarts, but have no social skills, etc. (Not saying that you don't, but I'm just saying I'm not exactly attracted to geeks, if that's all they are.) It's a combination of things that attracts me, and I'm sure other women. Women want to find a man who's their equal in sophistication, drive/motivation, intelligence, etc. In fact, I'm not sure that finance plays a huge role for women, as long as things like I mentioned above are roughly the same, except for conflicting feelings about men being the breadwinner.</p>
<p>Of course, take or leave what I've said as you will; I'm in college and have never had a boyfriend (and it's not because I don't want one). Still, I know intelligent guys (who aren't particularly attractive or strong) who are dating some of my friends. Statistically, maybe being smart hurts you, though I have the suspicion that part of that is that the smartest guys tend to lack social skills, etc. But that doesn't mean you can't find a girl who'll go for you. And if you want tons of girls instead of just one, well then, that's a different problem.</p>
<p>"The thing I found sexiest about certain men when I was younger, and still do to this day, is THEIR BRAINS. Nothing is more attractive than a smart guy, no matter what financials he brings to the table. Nothing is more grotesque, no matter how rich, than a stupid/dumb/ignorant man. No thanks."</p>
<p>Well said, Fencersmom! Absolutely true! Nothing can turn off an intellegent woman more a macho man with no brains.</p>
<p>
[QUOTE]
It just irks me, as an attractive but smaller statured male (5'8, 155 lbs) to hear about how important intelligence is for mating. Um, if that's the case, why do I struggle while the big guys who work construction never seem to have a problem? Oh yeah, they have larger, stronger bodies. Read the link. Statisitically, being smart HURTS you. Maybe there's a lurking variable, and IQ is not the true predictor, but there's a strong correlation nonetheless.
[/QUOTE]
</p>
<p>Nah man this is ENTIRELY untrue. Intelligence is a genetic trait that helps you SURVIVE, it can only harm you if YOU allow your brain to take over your instinct where it shouldn't be. I know guys FAR shorter than you (5'5") who have banging girls and have ALWAYS messed with girls, and I know tall ass good looking guys that are virgins. The point is, if you don't have the attitude then you will fail. Intelligence is only as detrimental or salutary to your health as you allow it to be, and if you use it right its a great way to meet women who aren't just into partying and all. Statistically, men who are smart just blame their underlying problems on being smart, but that doesn't mean that being smart worsened them. Besides, if you are THAT upset about your body go work out. Hell, you aren't even short you're average size, you are taller than most women. You are complaining about a nonexistent problem.</p>
<p>You can always have a balance, keeping your body in shape and your mind have nothing to do with each other except that you must use your mind to apply yourself to achieving your goals. If you feel that you need to be more jacked to get women, work out, but you will find that the attitude and the willingness to take action when needed is what separates those who win and those who lose.</p>
<p>"
It just irks me, as an attractive but smaller statured male (5'8, 155 lbs) to hear about how important intelligence is for mating. Um, if that's the case, why do I struggle while the big guys who work construction never seem to have a problem?"</p>
<p>One can be an intelligent, 5'8, 155 lb. man and have a nice looking body if you workout.
What kind of women are you trying to date? The women whom I have met who date construction workers are women who hang out at places like bars, and also aren't too bright -- the type of women who value looks over intelligence and interesting conversation and nonsexual activities.</p>
<p>I have a couple of tall, beautiful women friends who married guys who are shorter than they are. One guy is a bit homely, and has a nondescript body, but is extremely intelligent as is his wife. They married in college and have been together more than 20 years. He is about 5 inches shorter than she is. They both teach college and are very respected in their fields. They both graduated from a highly respected LAC, and then got grad degrees at a top 20 university.</p>
<p>The other friend married a guy who happens to be a college grad who owns a construction company. She is gorgeous. He is cute, but at least 4 inches shorter than her. They've been together about 20 years. She's an Ivy grad, he's a grad of a top state university.</p>
<p>Those are just examples of gorgeous college educated women who married college educated guys (without construction worker physicis) who were shorter then them. </p>
<p>I know plenty of ordinary-pretty college educated women who dated and married very smart guys who were short and not athletic.</p>
<p>I think instead of thinking that women only go for the construction worker types, you should consider:
1. Are you coming across as a guy who just wants to get laid?
2. Are you using the party/bar scene to try to get dates? If you're basically an intellectual who's ordinary looking, you aren't likely to attract dates at those places because the girls who would be interested in guys like you probably aren't spending a lot of time getting drunk or hanging in the bars.
3. Do you do anything beside study? Even smart women want to do more than talk about academics.
4. Can you carry on an interesting conversation?
5. Is your grooming, hygiene and attire appealing?
6. Are you only trying to date gorgeous women? If you're ordinary looking without a strong hook (like being wealthy), you're not likely to be successful at attracting gorgeous women.</p>
<p>I wish I was rich with good looks...</p>
<p>lol...I didn't mean to divert this whole discussion to talk about my dating problems. </p>
<p>For the record, I've had a beautiful girlfriend before, and fooled around with a couple others. And yes, I work out so that I have a "masculine" physique (as well as to increase testosterone). Believe me, if I wasn't highly social I would still be a virgin at 22. Still, despite being very outgoing and comfortable with women, I spend the vast majority of my time single. I never even touched a girl untill I was out of high school (thank god I made it out).My taller, more athletic friends have no difficulty getting women, and a lot of them aren't particularly suave, to say the least. I can make girls roll on the floor laughing, but I'll always be their little brother.</p>
<p>I'm really not trying to turn this into a pity party for me. I know a tall, good looking guy who is autistic; needless to say, he doesn't get any girls, so I realize I could have it worse. I just get annoyed when women say the biggest turn on is intelligence or ambition. By that logic, the engineering building should be full of players and the marketing students should be virigns. Of course, the opposite is true. In sum: never listen to what a woman says, observe what she does.</p>
<p>Good looking is who you "date", smart is who you marry. ( Just in case my DH is reading this, he is smart AND good looking)</p>
<p>I'm sure your husband feels great about being desired financially and not sexually.</p>
<p>^LOL that sucks</p>
<p>Your assuming "good looking" equals desire and sexual attraction. I don't believe it's as simple as that for women. You also seem to be making some assumption about smart and finances.I don't believe I said anything about finances. I was simply suggesting that attraction based on physical appearance might be short lived and more common among youth. You fall in love and stay in love with something deeper and longer lasting than that....son. (smile)</p>
<p>BTW, my husband is "good looking"; it's just not why I married him. Nor was "finances".</p>
<p>It's only on CC that we can see a debate like this. Yawn...</p>
<p>
[quote]
In sum: never listen to what a woman says, observe what she does.
[/quote]
I agree. The problem is that people think it's bad/immoral when they say something superficial like looks or finances affected their decision. I would never be ashamed of a practical decision like that. </p>
<p>I would be ashamed if I lied to myself/others on why I chose someone/something.</p>
<p>"She makes me smile"
"I feel comfortable around her"
"She completes me"</p>
<p>shut up and just admit it. You're dating her cuz she's hot.</p>