<p>It’s way too early to make a decision now. Yes, talk to the Admissions office and tell them what has happened - but then, put it on the backburner and just live in the moment for a while and see how things go. I’m so sorry for your daughter’s accident - hope you both heal well!</p>
<p>Peg,
So sorry to read your post. {{{{hugs to you and your DD}}}}</p>
<p>I’m so sorry this has happened to your daughter, though thank God she survived. You both are in my prayers. It must be a huge disappointment to consider possibly postponing what should be such a happy and exciting transition in her life, but that will all still be there awaiting her …in Aug, or whenever the time is right. I wish her an easy and speedy recovery.</p>
<p>D1’s best friend a few years ago had a car accident (coma) first week in july before college, he was in a wheel chair when he decided to go to college in september on the east coast. he did not want to stay around when the other kids went to college. he had a wheelchair accessible room and therapy. did well. so may be too early to tell yet.</p>
<p>I can also recommend contacting the Dean of Students at your D’s university. We learned the importance of this role when our son had an unexpected accident and surgery the week of final exams the 1st semester of his senior year at college.</p>
<p>The Dean of Students is basically an advocate for the students and often acts as an intermediary for the student/parents with whichever department needs to be involved, ie professors, Housing, Registrar’s office, Admissions, Financial Aid etc. Before we went through this, I wouldn’t have known to call this person. I’d start there.</p>
<p>And on a more important note, I can’t imagine your worry but it sounds like you have great confidence in the neurologist. I am thinking of you and your D. Although it may be difficult, find strength knowing everyday from now on should get a little better.</p>
<p>Please keep us posted on how things are going.</p>
<p>Peg, I am so sorry. I am sending positive thoughts and prayers for your D’s recovery. </p>
<p>Yes, I would contact the admissions department and dean of students at the school and explain the situation. I can’t imagine a school not willing to work with you.</p>
<p>I was in a serious car accident six years ago, and suffered head injuries that were less severe than you describe you d’s. I make my living with my mind. While I was functional in a couple weeks, the fine cognitive edge took months to reappear.</p>
<p>You have gotten good advice here; contact the school straight away. I am sure they will work with you. Don’t rush things. Get good neuro-psych eval. And don’t confuse looking fine with actually having healed from the TBI.</p>
<p>Peg…please keep us updated. We’re all very concerned.</p>
<p>Hello- my thoughts are with you. My S’s bf had a series of head traumas in middle school. What I learned is it is very very important not to push kids with head trauma. Im sure the neuro person knows all this. Definitely dont rush things, and I am sure the school will be fine with whatever you decide. Gap year, Gap semester, etc. If its a school with a January admit, they may even have something in place to make a transistion seamless…</p>
<p>Peg, please remain strong and accept all of our sincere wishes for a full and speedy recovery for your daughter. Right now, all of her energy should be going into healing, and soon it will also need to go into rehabilitating.
I agree with the above posts, but would like to add that if she does indeed end up taking a deferral, she will need social support from peers, even if it is for a short time each day at first. Perhaps you could identify some friends and relatives her age who will be local and who can spend time with her regularly if she does end up staying at home.</p>
<p>Peg, hugs to you and your D</p>
<p>This is so scary for the parents! I am glad to hear your daughter will recover.</p>
<p>My rising junior son had a serious concussion and facial lacerations from a bicycle accident (helmet in place) three weeks before school started two years ago. We felt it took until mid-second semester before everything was clicking in his brain … and the report card comments reflected that. He was terribly frustrated that he wasn’t performing as well as he wanted to in the infamous “all important junior year.”</p>
<p>Deferring a year, in the great scheme of things, might be a good plan. Maybe she could do some cc or local u courses to get a bit of a head start once she’s feeling better. Maybe there’s a local internship or volunteer opportunity once she is ready? Maybe this experience will change her life in opening up new areas of interest?</p>
<p>You might tell her that once she gets to college, freshmen are of all different ages. It’s not like grade school where everyone progresses in lock step. The freshman classs will range in age from 17 to 20+. It’s OK to start a little later.</p>
<p>Thanks all. We will know more this week after seeing all the doctors again. If she stays home she will be the only one of her friends here. She and her roommate spent orientation weekend together and had a blast. My heart will hurt for her if this has to be put on hold. For now I am concentrating on today only and will give it a a few weeks to see where things stand.</p>
<p>Peg, I’m so sorry about your daughter’s injury. Best wishes for her prompt recovery. And if she makes a complete recovery, but has to defer, thank your lucky stars it’s no worse. Half a year or a year wait is nothing. She still would be far from the oldest freshman.</p>
<p>Peg, we look forward to hearing more about how your D is doing.</p>
<p>Depending on your daughter’s condition, it may be possible for her to still attend this fall, but be less than full time (again, a Dean of Students could make that ok if she needs a special waiver). I feel your pain about your D’s disappointment if she can’t attend at all this fall. But there may be a way so she could take a reduced load, start with easier classes, or other options. </p>
<p>Of course, this possibility will all depend on her progress and recommendations of her doctors. And your own intuition…trust it. </p>
<p>I just wanted to make the case that there may be ways for her to still enjoy being an entering freshman this fall. We learned how powerful the Dean of Students is when we dealt with S’s surgery. This woman was fantastic and covered ALL the bases for us, helped figure things out with professors, etc. The college will most likely be way more flexible than you can imagine, given your D’s situation. </p>
<p>For me, knowing that our S had so many options that the school would support made it much easier for all of us–just mentally knowing how things could be handled helped me in particular deal with the anxiety of the situation. I know it was hugely comforting to S.</p>
<p>So, if you’re up to it, a call placed now to the Dean, even if you don’t know everything, may help put you at ease.</p>
<p>Since she is getting a lot of FA, I don’t think she can drop below 12 credits and her school only has most kids taking 13 credits first semester. I did talk to her about possibly not taking her math class first semester because that is definitely her weakest subject and most stressful for her. I’m sure we could find another class that would be easier for her to deal with.</p>
<p>Peg, the issue you raise re required hours/Financial Aid is precisely the kind of “fix” that a Dean of Students may be able to help with. While most colleges have rules that appear to be inflexible (and often for good reason), the power of the right advocate can be much greater than you’d expect. There may be waiver options due to health conditions, there might be an option to allocate financial aid ANYWAY (remember that colleges make the rules but almost always there can be exceptions), or perhaps a rationing system they’d allow for the 1st semester based on the hours. (One concern is health insurance though…many policies require a student to be full time to remain on parents’ plans after they turn 18).</p>
<p>All I’m saying is that these are the kinds of questions worth presenting to the right authority figure…for our S it was the Dean of Students. He was given special circumstances waivers/timelines that we would NEVER have assumed they’d do for him.
It was completely reassuring and frankly made me love his school even more that they really worked with S in resolving his missing finals/recovery issues etc.</p>
<p>They might let her take 9 credits and do one independent study project instead. There are likely endless options that aren’t going to be put in writing in the online catalog or registrar’s “rule book”. I can tell you I scoured S’s school’s “rules” and assumed there was no way he could graduate on time. We were so wrong. I initially didn’t believe any conversation with the Dean of Students could make any difference–again, we were wrong. </p>
<p>Give the school the chance to help your D and work with the situation. You likely will be surprised.</p>
<p>I cant offer any suggestions just wishing your daughter a quick recovery and so glad she will be ok. !!!</p>
<p>I’m with downtoearth - no advice or suggestions - I simply wanted to express my sympathy and best wishes for your daughter’s full and painless recovery. Best wishes!</p>
<p>Don’t worry about anything like dropping below credit hours or whatnot, yet. Do contact the school just to find out the policy on deferrals… If the neurologist says she needs to take a lightened load, the school will allow it. Schools work with kids through the disability office with various stuff all the time. You’d be surprised.</p>
<p>In the meatime, I just can’t imagine how frightening this must have been for you. I’m really glad to hear she’s on the mend.</p>